The 21 Stages of a Narcissistic Relationship with Empath takes you through the full cycle of abuse, from start to finish.
Empaths are pure souls who love unconditionally. They give more than they can handle and just can’t comprehend that there are people on this planet who are the opposite of them. They feel everything on such a deep level and often internalize external problems and take them as their own.
Enter the narcissist, who has made himself an unscrupulous being solely driven by a self-serving agenda. Narcissists are very manipulative and work to grab, without offering anything in return (unless it serves themselves in some way).
Unfortunately, empaths fall victim to narcissists’ tricks so frequently, it’s heartbreaking indeed.
The Empath and Narcissist Relationship
An empath is someone who is born with the ability to feel the emotions and energy of others as if they were their own. What they experience goes beyond knowing what another person is feeling or empathizing with others. Empaths actually sense other people’s things inside their bodies, through their nervous system.
Before empaths realize who they are, the intensity of their feelings can be completely overwhelming at times. What they don’t realize until now is that many of their feelings are actually other people’s feelings, not their own. Up until that point, they feel like an overly sensitive soul, they must have something wrong with them for them to feel that much.
Empathy can feel like a curse until one learns to protect oneself from taking on the pain of others and taking it as one’s own. However, once an empath learns how to retain its own energy, it can become a beautiful thing. Empaths are able to experience what it really means to be human, on such a deep level.
Empaths are natural givers and healers.
Empaths are naturally connected to their higher selves and the divine source of all this. Even an unaware empath will have a strong sense of intuition and that there is something higher than this reality.
Besides, empaths are natural givers, healers, and listeners. People organically gravitate toward empathy because their calm and giving nature heals them so powerfully.
Empaths regularly find themselves depleted because they give so much to others, often without even realizing it. They must learn the importance of giving to themselves first, and then they can give selectively only to those who are authentically ready to grow on a personal and spiritual level.
At first, this will seem selfish to Empath, but they will learn that we are responsible for our own journey.
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who has unconsciously cut off contact with their Higher Self and Divine Source at an early stage in life.
They could not bear the agonizing inner wounds of abandonment, rejection, and shame (due to childhood trauma). Therefore, they disowned the part that was responsible for making them feel these things—their true self.
Without their true selves, they are now left with nothing but their egos to run the show. In order for narcissists to function psychologically in this world, their egos have created a false ego. The function of the false self is to protect them from the horrific truth (which they long ago rejected), that they are flawed human beings, just like the rest of us.
The false self is a fractured psyche, that cannot accept both the good and the bad sides. Therefore, she chose the path of superiority and merit as her false truth.
Narcissists operate by constantly taking on others in order to relieve the pain of their own black, empty space.
The false self is now the narcissist’s false god. They do not believe that there is any power higher than themselves, which is why they expect others to worship them and the laws and rules here do not apply to them.
In other words, the narcissist only has the resources to accept a reality in which he or she is superior, perfect, and amazing. They flatly refuse to acknowledge any parts of themselves that are flawed or deficient in any way.
The problem with the delusional world of narcissists is that it doesn’t actually exist outside of their mind. The only way to make it real in their outer world is to get constant validation from others, assuring them that their world is truly “real”.
They do this by seeking constant attention and admiration, which is why appearances are so important to them. Another way to get validation is through arguments, chaos, drama, and control. These things make them feel very important and powerful, which assures them that they really are there.
Why does empathy attract narcissists?
You can see how vastly different empaths and narcissists are. So how often are these two polar opposites drawn to each other?
On an energetic level, what the narcissist is constantly looking for is the life force energy of others because they can’t access it themselves. When they cut off their true selves, they also cut off their access to the Divine Life Force.
This life force energy is the only real aid to the vast empty void, which is left in the place of the true self. However, the void is only a black hole, which can neither be filled nor satiated.
Anything that feeds the narcissist attention or energy is called “narcissistic display.”
Empaths have an abundance of life force energy because they are so connected to the Source and their inner being. They generally operate from a place of true love (not to say they’re perfect), plus they live with an open heart.
Empaths love to see the good in people and they can’t even understand that there are people who intentionally manipulate others and use them for personal gain. Sure, they realize there’s bad in the world, but they believe the vast majority of them all come from a place of authenticity, just like they are.
The thing is, there is nothing authentic about a narcissist. Their whole life is an illusion based on a false reality created by a false self. They are sick liars who operate by manipulation, gaslighting, and bullying on a daily basis. But since they do it all with a charming smile on their face, it can be very difficult to decipher.
Narcissists are master manipulators. They are a real demon in disguise.
You can think of a narcissist as an energetic vampire, sucking the life force out of others to feed their own black hole. Then when each person was depleted, they dumped him instead of someone else who still had plenty of life force to draw from. And the cycle goes.
The thing is, no one in their right mind would simply hand over their resources and energy to an empty dark soul. Therefore, in order for narcissists to obtain their drug, they need to manipulate others into handing it over willingly without ever realizing what is going on.
This is where the narcissist completely charms the empath, giving them the wrong idea of who they are.
The narcissist studies empathy during the idealization stage (love bombing), to find out what their deepest wounds and insecurities are. They store this information safely away for future use.
The narcissist will appear to be all the things the empath has always been. Someone who truly sees them and can freely share the amount of love they give to others (but rarely takes it back).
The narcissist will reflect their sympathy, kindness, love, and empathy, pretending that they embody these things as well. However, in reality, the narcissist has no conscience, and so they can’t experience any of it. All this manipulation to capture sympathy.
Once narcissists hook up on empathy, they will cycle through their abuse system, severing their empath’s self-esteem and independence, all while sapping them of their life force energy.
An empath simply can’t realize that this person isn’t really good at heart, so they give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, over and over again.
The only way for the cycle to end is when the empathy is really empty and the narcissist ignores it for a fresher source of supply. Or, empathy manages to awaken from a delusion, learning that not everyone is authentic and loving. At least, the only one who has truly declared that he loves them more than anyone else.
No one (not even an empath) can heal or fix a narcissist. The only real cure for them is to restore their relationship with themselves and take full responsibility for all the unhealed parts inside. However, due to the very nature of the disorder, recovery is nearly impossible.
What is the Purpose of the Empath and Narcissist Relationship?
Being in a narcissistically abusive relationship can be one of the most soul-wracking experiences to endure. Especially since the abuse is hidden, hidden, hidden.
For a sympathizer to spend months, years, even decades, handing their life over to someone who was holding them there only through deception, is utter betrayal on the deepest level.
However, there is actually a deep spiritual purpose behind the relationship of empathy and narcissism. It’s all about empaths finding their way home.
Does this sound like a ramshackle and confusing way to go? I definitely felt it when I was dragging myself through it, so I hear you! But it really is the truth and I would like to explain why.
Most empaths are codependent, which means they look outside of themselves for the love, validation, safety, and survival they seek. You can bet they’ve had their own share of childhood trauma, learning that in order to feel okay about themselves, they had to make sure everyone else felt okay first.
A big reason empaths give too much and try to fix everyone else, is because they feel so deeply the pain of those around them. So, as a survival mechanism, they learn that to stop feeling all that pain, they have to fix others.
Empath has learned to take emotional responsibility for everyone else around him.
Narcissists are flawed beings who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. They actively dump all their unwanted, uninfected wounds on anyone who will take them.
The loving narcissist sees, gives empathy and wants them as their own. Not because they really see and love them, but because they see how much more they can get from them. They see how easy it is for Empath to manipulate and organize using emotional blackmail.
From there, a toxic relationship emerges as the narcissist continually takes away the energy and resources of empathy. Meanwhile, they’ll be navigating enough of their empath love to keep them at bay.
When an empath stands up for himself or resists the narcissist’s abuse and demands, the narcissist will shame them and accuse them of being callous, uncaring, and immoral (all things narcissistic).
Piece by piece, the empath surrenders all of his power to the narcissist. Narc makes empaths believe that they are the only source of love, validation, security, and survival.
However, the whole thing is a total reversal designed to keep empaths trapped. In fact, the narcissist is terrified that the empath will discover that the opposite is true. The empath has always been the strong and the narcissist needs empathy for their survival.
While the narcissist locates all of the deepest wounds of empathy, they purposely tear them apart and rub them with salt. All are designed to trigger and control empaths, so they can extract huge amounts of life energy from them.
Spirit growth comes when empathy begins to awaken to the truth about the narcissist and what his true intentions are. No matter how the relationship ended (usually devastating), they now have a chance to turn this whole ship around.
The narcissist’s purpose in an empath’s life is for the empath to recognize the dangers of seeking love, security, validation, and survival outside of themselves.
Now that empathy has been shattered into a million pieces, it’s time for them to turn inward and realize that all of these things can only truly come from within.
True healing comes when the empath learn to release every trauma from their bodies, which the narcissist has been able to expertly locate. There is no time limit for this process, it takes as much time as the soul needs.
There is no right or wrong, all roads lead home.
Piece by piece Sympathy brings it together again, stronger and more sovereign than ever. They come home to their inner being and become their own source of self-love, self-validation, security, and survival. They will never again hand over their power to anyone else, let alone an empty, ragged and unscrupulous being.
If an empath has not learned everything they need from their empath-narcissistic relationship, they will continue to repeat the same patterns over and over again with other narcissists, until they are ready to move beyond the cycle.
