Psychological terms like narcissism and perfectionism have been around for decades. We understand their personality traits, even if we don’t have them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as narcissistic perfectionism? And if so, what effect does it have on a person’s life?

Understanding narcissistic perfectionism

This type of person is easy to explain. We simply break the two elements of their personality.

So, we know that narcissists, in addition to putting themselves first, have the following personality traits:

Narcissists:

Great sense of self
The feeling of entitlement
They think they are special and unique
On the other hand, idealists set themselves impossibly high standards.

Perfectionists:

We strive for flawless performance
They will work tirelessly and are very self-critical.
Some tend to procrastinate.
Now, it’s not as simple as putting these two traits together. This is because a narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects his perfection onto others, not themselves. This is the difference between a person who is a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.

Narcissistic perfectionists set unrealistic goals and objectives for other people. Moreover, they get angry and suffer if they don’t reach these impossible goals.

Dr. Simon Cherry is a psychiatrist and associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.

“Narcissistic perfectionists need other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations…and if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Cherry

Studies in this type of personality

The studies involved looking at biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionists. Employees report that their bosses criticize them for making very small mistakes. They’ll be highly regarded one minute and then go from “hero to zero” the next.

In addition, employees will be routinely restrained in front of co-workers. CEOs will be very critical, to the point of outright hostility.

So why is this combination so deadly?

“But high expectations combined with feelings of grandeur and entitlement to the exemplary performance of others creates a much more negative mix.” Dr. Simon Cherry

So far we’ve talked about CEOs, but what about everyday life? What if the ideal narcissist was a member of your family?

Logan Nelis holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. student. Works with the personality research team.

“The narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter at the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else there.” Logan Nelis

But it’s not just about demanding perfection from the people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection of those around them. The narcissist can say, through these idealistic accomplishments, “Look how good I am!”

Typical behaviors of narcissistic perfectionists
So how do you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionism? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:

“The most consistent finding we have across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, autonomy, conflict, and hostility,” explains Dr. Cherry.

This social negativity goes hand in hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they will not take the time to critically humiliate you. They will do it all while maintaining that sense of being better than you.

A narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react with violent and hostile outbursts. These explosions would be a complete overreaction to the error in question. For example, imagine you’ve made a very small typo in a document. A narcissistic perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, yell and yell at you and fire you on the spot.

Also, don’t forget that any mistakes will never be the narcissist’s fault. It doesn’t make sense to them that they might be wrong or that the mistake is their own. This black-and-white thinking only adds to the problem.

“In the worldview of narcissistic perfectionism, the problem is outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr. Cherry

20 Signs Someone You Know Is A Perfectionist Narcissist
Many of us work for bosses who demand perfection. But what’s the difference between a person who wants the best work from you, or a narcissist who also happens to be a perfectionist? And what about family and friends? Do you recognize any of the following signs?

They set impossible demands/goals/goals
These goals are for others and not for themselves
They react inappropriately when things don’t go their way
You are always walking on eggshells around them
You never know how they will react
They are very critical of everything you do
Everything you do is subject to criticism
The rules apply to you, but not to them
They can bend the rules, but you never can
They get impatient with you
They ask you for great things
You can never be yourself around them
You are afraid of them
They are unprofessional at work
They expect a lot from you
You are not allowed to make “excuses.”
It is never their fault
They are always right
They don’t want to hear explanations
If you make a mistake, they become aggressive and angry
You may recognize some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, partner, friend, or family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If he is your boss, there may not be much you can do apart from looking for alternative work.

For interpersonal relationships, however, Dr. Cherry believes that making a person understand the impact of their behavior is the way forward. Typically, a narcissist will not seek treatment. They may only do this in the final stages when their marriage fails, or they lose a company for example.