Have you ever wondered what makes narcissists tick and upset them?

We asked people in our Facebook group, “What do narcissists hate the most?” and here are the answers that followed.

How many of these things did you recognize? Or what were they missing? Here are 16 things narcissists absolutely hate when it happens to them.

1 Being Criticized:

Any criticism can violate their inflated self-image, leading to feelings of humiliation.

When you criticize a narcissist, even constructively, it can often shatter their inflated self-image and lead to feelings of deep humiliation. They’ve built a fortress of self-perception, and your words can feel like a wrecking ball.

It’s not that they can’t handle feedback—they simply can’t handle anything that doesn’t portray them as the best they can be. It’s not about improving for them, it’s about maintaining the illusion of perfection. Being sensitive to criticism can make relationships difficult.

You can’t raise issues without the other person feeling attacked. You walk on eggshells, fearing their emotional reactions. It leaves you doubting yourself, your words, and your actions.

2 Ignoring

Narcissists demand constant attention and validation. Being ignored is a huge blow to their inflated self-esteem.

Narcissists often crave the spotlight and demand constant attention, so being ignored can feel like they’re attacking their inflated self-esteem.

Imagine being someone who has built a world where you’re the center of attention. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re exceptional, superior, and deserving of constant admiration. Now, imagine someone you interact with who doesn’t give you the attention you deserve. It’s a blow.

Related : 20 Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back

This lack of attention doesn’t just hurt. It’s infuriating. It’s like they’re saying you’re less important than you think you are. It challenges the grandiose self-image you’ve created. So, you react with anger and aggression. That’s what ignoring means to a narcissist. It’s more than just an insult; it’s a declaration of war.

3 Losing Control

They seek to control situations and people around them. Losing control can be uncomfortable and irritating.

While narcissists are known for their need for attention, they also have a desperate desire to control situations and people around them. Imagine having the mindset of a puppeteer, wanting to direct every move and every decision. That’s how narcissists operate.

But what happens when the strings are cut when they lose control? It’s like a punch in the gut for them. They panic, become irritated, and feel uncomfortable. Why? Because control is their safety blanket. It’s what makes them feel superior and invincible.

So when you stand up to them, when you refuse to be manipulated, you’re essentially taking away their power. And there’s nothing more painful for a narcissist than feeling helpless. They hate losing control.

4 Self-Exposure

Narcissists are afraid of revealing their true personality or manipulative behavior because they want to maintain the illusion of perfection.

Just as the idea of ​​losing control drives a narcissist crazy, so does the fear of being exposed. It’s not just about their flaws or shortcomings, it’s about exposing their manipulative behavior and false persona. They’ve built an illusion of perfection around themselves, and anything that threatens to shatter that image is seen as a serious threat. Narcissists are masters of deception, using charm and charisma to keep you in the dark. But when they’re exposed, their carefully constructed world begins to crumble.

They will do everything possible to distract, deny, or shift blame. But remember, you’re not wrong. They’re just afraid to face their reality.

5 Independent Thoughts and Opinions

They hate it when others think independently and not according to their narrative.

Narcissists can’t stand it when you express your opinions or think independently, especially if it disrupts their carefully crafted narrative.

They crave control, and your independent thoughts threaten their perceived dominance. They love nothing more than for you to agree with every word they say, no questions asked.

It’s an affront to their authority if you dare to disagree. Narcissists hate those who aren’t easily swayed and will often try to belittle or dismiss your opinions to assert their superiority.

6 Confrontation

They feel threatened when you confront them about their behavior because they fail to see their own flaws.

When you confront a narcissist about their behavior, they often react defensively, unable to acknowledge their flaws. They see this confrontation as a threat, an attack on their idealized self-image. In their minds, they are infallible, superior beings who can do no wrong.

So, when you point out their flaws, it’s like you’re trying to shatter that illusion. They won’t let that happen. They’re likely to deflect, blame you, or twist the situation to make themselves a victim.

It’s important to remember that it’s not you, it’s their lack of self-awareness and inability to take responsibility.

They’re trapped in their world, where they’re always right and everyone else is wrong. It’s a tough one, but understanding this can help you better deal with their behavior.

7 Facing the Truth

Whether it’s about them or a situation, narcissists tend to hate facing the truth because it can shatter their illusions.

In the distorted mirror of the narcissist’s reality, the truth can often be their most feared enemy. But why is that? As you can see, narcissists thrive on illusions and exaggerations.

They have built a grandiose self-image that is far removed from their true identity. When the truth threatens to shatter that illusion, they will do everything in their power to resist it.

Think about it, if you spent your life believing you were superior, how would you feel if someone showed you evidence to the contrary? You would likely avoid, deny, or even attack.

That’s exactly what they do when faced with the truth. They would rather live in their fantasy world, where they are always the best, than face the harsh reality. That’s why they hate facing the truth.

8 You’re Standing Up to Them

Narcissists don’t appreciate it when others, especially their victims, stand up for themselves because it challenges their control.

Believe it or not, the moment you start standing up for yourself is the moment a narcissist’s control begins to crumble.

Related : 20 Things That Drive Narcissists Absolutely Nuts

They are used to controlling and manipulating situations to their advantage. But you challenge their supposed authority when you declare boundaries, assert your worth, and refuse to be treated poorly.

It’s not that they don’t know your rights, it’s that they are intentionally ignoring them.

Challenging you poses a direct threat to their ego and sense of superiority. They hate it because it disrupts their control and reveals their true nature, which they would rather hide.

9 When Manipulation Tactics Fail

They get frustrated when their usual manipulation techniques stop working on their victim.

Continuing to assert your boundaries can lead to another situation that narcissists hate: their manipulation tactics failing.

When you don’t fall for their mind games, they get frustrated. They’re used to getting their way and controlling the narrative. When that control slips, they feel threatened.

Narcissists hate feeling helpless and insignificant, and that’s exactly how they feel when you don’t give in to their manipulation. They may try harder, using new, more sinister tactics.

However, if you stand firm in your decision and reject their manipulation, you’re effectively depriving them of the validation they crave.

This is a blow to their inflated ego, which they can’t handle. So, one of the things narcissists hate most is when their manipulation tactics fail.

10 Your Friends and Family

Narcissists often resent your close relationships with friends and family because they see them as a threat to their control over you.

Despite your best efforts, narcissists can’t stand your close relationships with friends and family, and they see these relationships as threats to their control over you. They’re not content with having a support network outside of their sphere of influence.

It’s not uncommon for them to isolate you, either subtly or explicitly blocking you from contact with those who care about you.

They fear that your loved ones will expose their manipulation and deception, thereby breaking their hold on you. They may even try to turn you against your friends and family, portraying them as enemies.

11 Caught in a Lie

Since the truth threatens their manufactured world, narcissists despise being caught in a lie.

In the world of narcissists, nothing shatters their carefully constructed facade like being caught in a lie.

This moment exposes their false image, the one they’ve spent so much time perfecting. Suddenly, they are no longer the flawless individual they made you believe they were.

Their lies, often told to manipulate or control, become their downfall. They are forced to confront a truth they have long ignored or distorted to fit their narrative.

Related : 16 Things Narcissists Say When They Cheat on You

They despise this because it threatens their made-up world. It challenges their superiority and shatters their grandiose self-image.

12 Feeling Inferior

Narcissists see themselves as superior and hate anything that challenges their perceived superiority.

In the bubble of the narcissist’s self-image, they stand tall as superior beings, and any hint of deficiency is a bitter pill they refuse to swallow.

When you dare challenge this illusion, they react not with humility but with contempt. They cannot bear to be marginalized or outdone. It is like a direct attack on their self-esteem.

They are not used to dealing with defeat or criticism and despise those who make them feel less than perfect. These bruises to their ego are unbearable. They are always the best in their minds, and you are just an obstacle in their way to maintain their inflated sense of self.

13 Other People’s Success:

They often get upset when they see other people’s success, especially when it eclipses their own.

Beware, because the narcissist’s ego can’t stand seeing your success, especially when it eclipses their own. They can’t handle the fact that you’re doing well, especially if it’s better than they are.

It’s as if your success is a personal insult, a direct stab at their self-worth. They’re likely to respond with jealousy, disguised as criticism or rejection. You’ll notice them belittling your accomplishments, making snide comments, or even resorting to outright sabotage.

They can’t stand the idea of ​​you being better than them. Understand that this isn’t about you; it’s about their fragile ego and their inability to accept that others can be successful, too.

Don’t let their bitterness overshadow your accomplishments. Keep shining. You’ve earned it!

14 Setting boundaries

Narcissists see personal boundaries as a direct attack or restriction on what they want.

While dealing with their inability to tolerate your success, you may also encounter their disdain for personal boundaries, which they often interpret as a direct attack or restriction on their desires.

Narcissists can’t stand it when you set healthy boundaries. They see them as a challenge to their power and control.

It’s common for them to react with anger or manipulation when you draw the line. They will often try to manipulate you, make you feel guilty, or even use various forms of intimidation to get you to back down.

Stay firm, though. Remember, your boundaries reflect your self-esteem. Don’t let a narcissist’s discomfort discourage you from maintaining them. That’s their problem, not yours.

15 Lack of Special Treatment

They see themselves as superior and expect preferential treatment. If they don’t get it, they get very upset.

Narcissists, who see themselves as superior beings, often expect red carpet treatment in every aspect of their lives, and they don’t take kindly to when that expectation isn’t met.

You’ll find them getting upset, even angry, when they’re not the center of attention or feeling like they’ve been treated like a normal person.

It’s not just about wanting the best seat at a restaurant or the front row at a concert. It’s an insatiable need to validate and acknowledge their self-perceived greatness. They crave admiration; they feel insulted and disrespected when they don’t receive it.

This lack of special treatment can lead to narcissistic rage, a volatile reaction that’s difficult for others to handle.

16 Empathy

Since narcissists often struggle with empathy, they resent displays of empathy, which they see as signs of weakness.

You’ll often find that narcissists struggle to understand and share the feelings of others, and they view empathy as a sign of weakness that they deeply resent. This lack of empathy can be a major barrier to their relationships.

You’ll notice that they’re quick to dismiss other people’s feelings, and show no interest in understanding different points of view than their own. They can’t or won’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes, seeing them as inferior to them. They may ridicule or belittle displays of empathy, presenting a callous, emotionless appearance.

This isn’t because they’re incapable of empathy, but because they see empathy as a threat to their self-image, a chink in the mask they wear. They’d rather be seen as strong and insensitive than empathetic and vulnerable.

BeforeYouGo

So, you see, narcissists hate criticism, being ignored, and losing control. They fear exposure and hate independent thinking.

They can’t stand the success of others, and boundaries bother them. They’re also bothered by the lack of special treatment and displays of empathy.

Remember, understanding these triggers can help you deal with those who exhibit narcissistic tendencies, allowing you to communicate more effectively.