If you’re dating a narcissist, you’re probably aware that they’re often cheaters. They cheat because they can and don’t understand the fact that you have to make a fuss about it.
It doesn’t matter if you catch your narcissist naked in bed with another woman; they’ll deny it or, if that doesn’t work, blame you.
We asked our Facebook group about some of the things narcissists say when they cheat on you, and here are their answers.
1 “If you accuse me, I’ll do it.”
When a narcissist says,
“If you accuse me, I’ll do it,”
they’re using your suspicions as justification for their cheating. It’s a manipulation tactic, trying to shift the blame onto you. They’re suggesting that you’re pushing them to cheat.
Related : Why Do Narcissists Lie About Their Exes?
Don’t take the bait. It’s not your fault. Cheating is a choice they’re making, not a response to your fears.
2 “It’s all in your head. She’s just a friend.”
Another common phrase narcissists use to deflect accusations of infidelity is,
“It’s all in your head. She’s just a friend.”
They make you doubt your instincts, and they shift the blame onto you.
They make you think you’re imagining things, and overreacting. But trust your instincts; they’re often right. Don’t let them manipulate your perception.
3 “Ask my mom. She’s just an old friend.”
The assertion, “Ask my mom. She’s just an old friend” is another tactic narcissists use to cover up their infidelity.
They exploit your trust in their mother’s word to hide their deception.
4 “I don’t even know why we’re fighting.”
Just as they use evasion tactics to hide their infidelity, narcissists often use the strategy of confusion, which is illustrated by the following statement:
“I don’t even know why we’re fighting.”
This phrase is meant to make you question your perceptions and feelings, leaving you unsure and unbalanced.
It’s a way for them to avoid responsibility and shift the blame onto you.
5 “Look what you made me do!”
In a twisted attempt to shift blame, a narcissist might resort to the following phrase:
“Look what you made me do!”
They insist that you forced them to cheat.
It’s a manipulation tactic to make you feel guilty, and question your actions instead of theirs.
Don’t fall into this trap. Their choices are their own, not something you pushed them to make.
6 “I can’t help it if someone is attracted to me.”
Shifting blame isn’t the only tactic in their playbook; they may also downplay their actions with statements like
“I can’t help it if someone is attracted to me.”
This statement diverts attention from their betrayal and places the responsibility on a third party. It’s a classic narcissistic move—dodging accountability by making it seem like they’re irresistible.
7 “I’m just working with her.”
Another common phrase you may hear from a cheating narcissist is,
“I’m just working with her.”
This statement is meant to normalize and justify the excessive time they spend with the other person. They’re downplaying their relationship, ensuring that you see it as innocent.
However, repeating “working late hours” or “business trips” may indicate an intimate relationship they’re trying to hide.
8 “It’s not what you think. She’s just a friend.”
Despite the innocent nature of their “work relationship,” a deeper layer of deception emerges when they assure you,
“It’s not what you think. She’s just a friend.”
This is a classic diversion tactic, easily used to throw you off their scent. It’s a blatant exploitation of your trust, designed to hide their betrayal while perpetuating your self-doubt.
9. “I’ve known her for years.”
When they drop the phrase,
“I’ve known her for years,”
this is often another smokescreen used to downplay their betrayal and make their actions seem less suspicious.
Narcissists use this phrase to reference a spiritual history, in an attempt to make you feel irrational for doubting them.
10 “Don’t worry. She’s not the type I like.”
Based on the idea of manipulative statements, consider the seemingly reassuring phrase,
“Don’t worry. She’s not the type I like.”
Related : Why Do Narcissists Blame You For Everything?
This is often a distraction, a way to deflect doubt. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
If they’ve been spending an unusual amount of time with this person, your hunch may be right, regardless of whether or not they’re “my type.”
11 “Believe it.”
Another common phrase narcissists use when they’re cheating is
“Believe it,”
which smacks of contempt and lack of empathy.
It’s their way of avoiding guilt and responsibility. This phrase allows them to dismiss your suspicions and makes you feel like you’re overreacting.
It’s a sign that they don’t care about your feelings or the health of the relationship.
12 “You’re seeing things.”
In an attempt to further confuse you, a narcissist may tell you
“You’re seeing things,”
effectively blaming your suspicions on your own misperceptions rather than their betrayal. They’re twisting reality, making you question your sanity.
This is a classic manipulation tactic to deflect blame and throw you off balance, ensuring they maintain control and avoid taking responsibility for their betrayal.
13 “It was a mistake.”
Often, the narcissist will describe their act of betrayal as a “mistake,” in an attempt to minimize the seriousness of their actions and evade accountability. They will insist that it was a one-time misstep, not a repeat choice. But don’t be fooled.
This “mistake” narrative is a tactic to deflect blame and throw you off balance, undermining your self-confidence and self-worth.
14 “Let me explain it to you. It’s not what you think it is.”
“Let me explain it to you. It’s not what you think it is.”
Another manipulative phrase narcissists may use when they’re caught cheating. They’re trying to control the narrative, minimize their actions, and deflect blame.
Instead of owning up to their betrayal, they’ll muddy the waters with excuses, hoping you’ll question your own perceptions. Don’t be fooled. Trust your instincts and stand your ground.
15 “Someone was hacking my Facebook app. I was just trying to figure out who it was.”
“Someone was hacking my Facebook app. I was just trying to figure out who it was,”
It sounds like a classic diversionary tactic that narcissists use when they’re caught cheating.
They shift the blame, trying to make you feel guilty for accusing them. They’ll play the victim, making the situation about them, not their cheating.
Beware—it’s a manipulation tactic.
16 “You’re just insecure.”
While “Someone was hacking my Facebook” is a common diversionary tactic, another tactic that narcissists use when they’re accused of cheating is to dismiss your concerns by saying,
“You’re just insecure.”
This is a classic manipulation move, designed to make you question your instincts and feelings. They’re trying to shift the blame onto you, making their cheating seem like a product of your own insecurities.
