If I could show you a thousand lines, no problem.
I could write an entire thesis on the narcissist’s playbook, including largely the classic lines they use on unsuspecting victims.
With our always busy lives, I’m not going to show you a thousand lines.
Instead, I’ve picked out the 16 best lines I want you to remember.
When you hear them come out of the mouth of the expected narcissist, you can then turn your cheek, look the other way, and gain the upper hand with your newfound insight.
Listen, and play…it’s going to get interesting.
playbook…tell me more
The strategy book that keeps the narcissist’s crazy games going is known as the playbook.
For narcissists, there is no book. There is just a mind full of toxic and horrible ways to treat people, and how to get exactly what they want.
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They do this using specific phrases that have proven to be effective at triggering emotions in their victims.
Let’s take a look at some of the worst phrases they use.
“All my exes are crazy”
No, they’re not!
Narcissists want you to think they are so they can look like the ones who suffered.
Don’t believe anyone when they’re sarcastically belittling their ex—you don’t have to know the truth, and assuming you know what they’re really saying is no throne you can sit on.
As much as they want to make you feel special here, you need to be one step ahead.
“You’re so insecure”
When a narcissist feels threatened by you, you can bet this phrase will come out of their playbook and hit you in the face.
If they can do something wrong about you, they won’t have to face up to the responsibilities they’re trying so hard to avoid.
“Stop overreacting”
Don’t let someone devalue your feelings and tell you so.
I can guarantee you’re not overreacting.
Saying you are just proves that they will do anything to upset you and make you feel invisible.
“You have some serious trust issues!”
Narcissists don’t want to think about how what they do affects you in a certain way.
If you feel insecure because they told you they wouldn’t work late again, only to find them walking in three hours after the scheduled time – you’ll want to know why.
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Instead of being honest, they’ll tell you the same thing.
You’re always portrayed as the problem!
“Come on, be strong”
“Don’t be a sweetie – that’s weak and pathetic!”
Actually, it’s not. It’s the best way to live; by being kind and thoughtful consciously.
It’s not a harsh statement; it’s an admission that your empathy trait is flawed.
“Take it easy”
Oh, you’re so miserable all the time – no!
Narcissists think they can do whatever they want, say whatever they want, or act however they want.
It doesn’t work that way, and it’s unfair to assume that you, the victim, will accept it.
You don’t need to de-escalate.
The narcissist just needs to be less cruel!
“I was joking”
No one jokes as cruelly as a narcissist.
Now ask yourself what the joke is. It’s usually a funny attempt at a spoken word, or a gesture that makes people laugh, right?
Yes, comedy may not be to everyone’s taste – but there’s no malice in the joke – just an attempt to cheer you up.
If a narcissist tells you they’re joking, it’s because they said something hurtful to you, and you feel genuinely hurt.
To justify it, or to avoid being the one responsible for your pain, they tell you they’re joking.
Yeah, right.
“You’ll never meet anyone as good as me”
Well, that’s a lie. You’ll always meet someone better than the narcissist. You may meet someone who doesn’t always get things right, but at least they try.
Related : Things Narcissists Say to Justify Their Behavior
Narcissists don’t do things right on purpose, and they never try to make you happy.
They don’t want to see you happy.
“You spend too much time with your friends”
No, you don’t!
The reason a narcissist says this is because they’re afraid of how much time you’re spending with the people you love.
They’re afraid that your friends will eventually get the better of you, and that it simply won’t be enough.
“It never happened”
Yes, it did. And the reason they want you to believe it didn’t happen comes from how desperate they are to keep playing the game exactly the way they want it to.
Don’t believe it—don’t fall for it. That’s manipulation.
“I didn’t say that”
Another attempt to manipulate you comes from this classic line.
You know they said it. The problem starts when they try to erase it from your mind to avoid blaming them.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion”
… So apparently you’re not allowed to have one?!
What a mess!
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and God knows you hear from narcissists literally every minute of every day.
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The minute you try to offer your thoughts, they shut you down.
They want you to shut up.
“What do you know?”
You know a lot, actually, but you feel like you don’t.
The narcissist wants you to turn a blind eye so you don’t ask questions or notice their manipulation of you.
“I don’t have time for this”
This phrase usually comes up when the narcissist is cornered for some reason. You’re asking why, where, or how, and they no longer know what to offer you in return.
So, is this their default position?
Get out fast!
Phrases like this will suffice—until you realize what’s going on!
“So-and-so is so annoying”
Watch out for these types of phrases. They almost always mean the narcissist is trying to provoke you into forming an opinion that they can use against you.
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What they want to hear is, “Oh, me too. I can’t stand them. They’re so annoying.”
They might even want to hear, “Oh, really? Tell me more.”
In the end, either your opinion will be exactly the same, or it will be shared in public and you will be seen as the bad guy who has a horrible view of a relatively innocent person.
“I’ll do it later”
No, you won’t! Stop making promises you can’t keep!
Expecting a narcissist to follow through on their promise will only lead to intense grief, yet victims insist on doing so.
There is always a later time with narcissists, but that “later time” never sees what you want or need from them happen.
