I want you all to stop what you’re doing and pay attention to what’s happening here, because there are many ways you’ll realize how serious emotional abuse is.
This isn’t an argument here, or a joke there.
This is a conscious effort to make you feel bad, to put you down.
Emotional abuse is no joke, and it happens a lot more than you think.
Let’s stop justifying this—and start paying attention.
Emotional AbuseIs Still Abuse
You know, people still think abuse is only physical.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard, “Yes, they may be moody and upset me, but the moment they touch me, I’m gone.”
Related : This is What You Tell People Who Don’t Believe You Were Abused By a Narcissist
I say, “Wait a minute…!!”
We step back and talk about what abuse really is…
…and this is eye-opening for those who have sometimes endured decades of emotional abuse.
How It Affects You
Emotional abuse is no joke.
It can leave you:
Anxious
Depressed
Constantly stressed
Low or no self-worth
Very low self-esteem
Unable to think for yourself
Forget about your hobbies, friends, and passions in life
Quitting your job just to please your abuser
Manipulating your emotions daily—taking away your reality
Undermining your identity
And much more.
15 Things You Can Spot That Indicate Emotional Abuse
- Blaming Yourself/Others
In narcissism, blame always points the finger of guilt at the innocent. If you are or have been this person, you know how it feels.
It’s frustrating and downright abusive.
Related : 8 Reasons Narcissists Can’t See Their Abusive Acts as Evil
Narcissists do this to deflect attention and shift the blame onto themselves. That way, they never look like someone who has hurt or upset someone else. I mean, they can’t be considered imperfect or untrustworthy, right?
- Insulting Yourself/Others
Insulting comes in many forms, such as:
Looking down on someone
Making you feel bad about the way you speak, act, look, feel, or think
Berating you for doing something the narcissist believes is wrong
The same goes for others. Narcissists are quick to insult, because feeling insulted diminishes a person’s light and spirit.
- Criticizing
You look terrible.
You’re not applying for that job, are you? You won’t last five minutes.
I can’t believe you still go to that ridiculous place for coffee.
Of course you chose that rug. It looks cheap. You still have no taste.
Ah, criticism is endless. It can be literally anything you do.
It’s constant, and it will affect you like you’re ice and they’re a chisel.
- Accusing You
Narcissists accuse their victims of things they didn’t do to:
Distort blame from themselves
Distort what they’re doing
Make you look guilty
Make you feel ultimately guilty
To bully and intimidate
Related : Devastating Mistakes I Made When Divorcing a Narcissist
Yes, of course, it’s emotional abuse. They know you’re innocent, but they won’t stop promoting the narrative that you did something wrong just to feel more powerful.
- Ignoring You
Abusers ignore you to make their victims feel powerless in a situation they can’t control. Can you force someone to talk? No! That’s exactly why narcissists love it.
If they don’t talk, the victim guesses. The victim is anxious. The victim apologizes and pleads.
And what does that mean?
It means the narcissist is in complete control of what’s happening and feels smug about it.
- Bullying
Yelling, name-calling, physical violence – bullying is a comprehensive look at what makes emotional abuse real.
If you were bullied at school, you know how it feels. You dreaded going in, and felt sick whenever you saw the bully.
What’s going to happen today?
Will they hurt me?
What are they going to ask of me?
It’s no different in adult life with narcissists—and it’s still emotional abuse.
- Intimidation
Intimidation may simply be the way narcissists present themselves to you. You may feel scared by threats, invasion of your personal space, yelling, anger, or even the narcissist throwing something around the room.
Related : How Do You Know If A Narcissist Is Gone For Good?
This is designed to scare or surprise you. For many victims of narcissistic abuse, it’s the only thing that keeps them quiet.
- Neglect
You might not think that not having your basic needs met would lead to emotional abuse, but you’d be wrong.
Yes, it can look like not having enough money to buy your groceries, and then the narcissist complaining about not having enough at the store.
Neglect is also the failure to receive the love and affection needed to feel safe, loved, and appreciated.
This includes forgetting important moments, ignoring requests to talk or hug if you’re upset, not following up on how you’re doing after a sad event, leaving you to deal with grief or problems alone, and refusing to be around you.
- Spying on You
Spying on you might look like this:
Following you to your workplace or leisure time
Monitoring who you talk to
Installing cameras in your home to make sure you’re where you say you are
I mean, it can get nasty.
- Monitoring Your Internet History
Internet history is important if you share tablets or laptops at home.
Checking what you’ve been using and using it against you is a way to try to control what you do. The same goes for asking for your passwords and searching your phone.
Related : The Real Difference between a ‘Narcissist’ and Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Monitoring you is how they start targeting you.
- Making Fun of You
The way you dress. The way you speak. The way you stutter when you’re nervous—it all plays a role when a narcissist makes fun of you. Sometimes they enjoy the public, and other times they enjoy doing it behind closed doors.
- Ignoring Your Thoughts/Opinions
- Guilt
Guilt leads to shame, and shame leads to self-loathing.
Anyone who instills guilt in you, especially for things you didn’t even do, is emotionally abusing you.
It may not seem like it, but trust me, it only leads to dangerous feelings toward yourself.
- Love Bombing
Love Bombing is the only thing that can feel good about being emotionally abused.
But how devastating is it to hear that you’re loved and appreciated, only to discover it’s a lie?
Related : 7 Strange Reasons Why Narcissists Believe In Conspiracy Theories
How hard is it to learn that someone you loved promised you everything and told you you were the one, only to then leave or ignore you?
No. Love Bombing is just as abusive as everything else I mentioned, even if you liked them at the time.
