In the creative world, I’ve learned that there are often two different types of artists: true artists, and narcissists who claim to be “artists.” I call the latest Kerouac a narcissist, and believe it or not, there are a lot of them.
Kerouac’s narcissists are often the reason why people warn others against dating musicians, painters, actors, and writers — and the reasons behind these warnings are entirely justified. They often view others as “props” in the grand American narrative that is their lives, which is to say they often treat them as such.
In almost all interpersonal relationships, people with this type of narcissism are insanely toxic and harmful to others. It is not uncommon for Kerouac narcissists to bully others whom they consider “too uncool to be part of their clique”, nor is it uncommon for them to romance a girl, be “inspired” by another woman/lifestyle, and then bail.
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Here are 15 signs that you are dating a narcissist; Specifically, Kerouac’s narcissist:
- Most people would call Kerouac a self-absorbed social media narcissist
These are people who make memes of themselves or ask people to make fan tags for them. As a result, most Kerouac narcissists will do whatever they can to grow their social media base, and may even use other “equally artistic” people in their group as props to show how great they really are. - You often find yourself the only one thinking about practical matters in relationships
If they really went to extremes, Kerouac’s narcissist would often expect their partner to support them financially and do all the dirty work of adulting for them. After all, they are too valuable to do it themselves. - Their favorite books include authors like Jack Kerouac
Most people who tend to fall into this stereotype of Kerouac forget that his magnum opus, On the Road, was a celebration of narcissism. In fact, people who model themselves on Kerouac might want to know that he himself had narcissistic personality disorder. Kerouac’s narcissistic tendencies caused him to abandon his daughter, and his former partners have nothing good to say. That’s where I got the term. - After a while, you notice that they tend to be manipulative and controlling
Sure, they acted nice on that person’s face, but the moment they left, they quickly started talking about them. The most common problem with Kerouac narcissists is passive aggression as a way to control rumors or use them to their advantage. The reason is that Kerouac’s narcissists have to control the script they want everyone to follow, and anything else will enrage them. - They keep talking about how they’ve written a big book, or an album, or a piece of art, or a screenplay, and they’re “sure it’ll get picked up.”
Sounds like Brian from Family Guy, right? Well, that’s because he’s a good example of what Kerouac’s narcissist looks like in many cases. They rarely actually do what they say they are trying to do, and when they are not the “great American artists” they think they are, they will blame others for their failure. Unfortunately, there are some Kerouac narcissists in the arts industry as well, so if you’re dating a professional, you should still be careful. - This type of narcissist will also make sure to seem intelligent, even on topics he knows nothing about
This is a trademark move of an insecure narcissist. Kerouac’s narcissists are worse at this, primarily because they believe it will attract the “right audience” to them.
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- They have an absolute need to be seen in the trendiest places in town
Remember, these narcissists often act or even think they are the lead actor in a major motion picture. For them, this means they need the right background. Since they are the stars and therefore very cool, they may need to hunt down the trendy bars in the city. - If they are out of touch with reality, they might move to a shiny city just so they can show people back home how great they are
So, for example, you might see someone from Virginia move to California, just for the sole purpose of living the “artist lifestyle” for a while. - Speaking of which, they also tend to delve into drug abuse and alcohol abuse
This is not always true, but given that these types of people tend to follow Jack Kerouac’s advice, it is often the case. Unlike other addicts, they often push their use to the forefront or even put it on Snapchat just to show how hard they are partying. - They also tend to act like they need a Manic Pixie dream partner to “make their lives better”
Of course, this also means that when they find a mate, they idealize her, and then when they realize she’s a human being, they devalue her and then abuse her or use her to gain resources until they “make it big” or find a “new muse.” “This is a cycle, and this is one of the signs that you are dating a narcissist. In this way, Kerouac’s narcissists are no different from anyone else with borderline personality disorder.” - When it comes to travel and life, they are known for randomly coming and going
They might also talk about how they moved out of the country and “go live in London” to calibrate their art. These narcissists, unlike others, tend to make sudden decisions in a dramatic way, often to the detriment of everyone around them.
Related: How Not To Marry A Narcissistic Jerk
- Even when they do horrible things to others, they can’t be the bad guys
A Kerouac narcissist is the type of person who pretends everything is fine, sleeps with you, wishes you a happy anniversary, and then bails out the next day, leaving a bouquet of flowers and a rant about how you’ll “thank them later.” They may also act as if you owe them a conversation just to get “closure” when they are the ones who wronged you.
