
Narcissists often don’t distinguish between lies and the truth. They say whatever they want to get out of a tight spot, or to trap you in one.
They’ll say whatever they want to say, even if it’s disguised as the truth, and that’s where this comes in.
To get away with it, they wrap the truth in a lie.
Here are 15 examples of how they do it.
Fact Twisting
Okay, the facts may be out there.
But what happens to them?
Narcissists are notorious for twisting the facts to lie and manipulate, and here are five examples.
1 “I was just kidding”
Jokes are meant to be funny, and if you don’t find them at all amusing, it’s because they weren’t a joke.
Related : Can You Be Immune to Narcissists?| 10 Effective Strategies to Protect Yourself
This kind of statement applies to a narcissist, who sees everything they say as an opportunity to be funny (in their opinion), but it hurts your feelings. This shouldn’t be forgotten or minimized.
2 “I didn’t say that”
You know they said it, but they’re convinced. Therefore, what they say will be true to them.
You know the truth, and you know what you heard. Hearing them mislead you like this is nothing more than a vague and predictable attempt to take you out of context.
Don’t be fooled.
3 “It didn’t happen”
Yes, it did. You saw it, you were there, and you remembered it.
This is a similar attempt to delude you into believing what they consider to be the truth. Of course, this version of reality is the only possible one.
Or is it?
Never lose sight of your own version, because you’ll need to rely on it a lot when you’re with a narcissist.
Don’t be fooled by this.
4 “Everyone agrees with me”
I disagree. Another attempt by narcissists to inflate the truth.
What they want to believe is that everyone around them believes them, when in reality, there may only be one or two.
And they may still be a little unsure themselves.
It’s a great idea to think that no one would ever disagree with the narcissist, but unfortunately, that’s the world they live in, and will continue to live in for as long as possible.
5 “You made me do it”
I actually disagree. Hey, I’m on your side!
I doubt for a moment that you forced the narcissist to do anything. The idea that you forced the narcissist makes me laugh, but I’ll tell them this—they’re good at trying.
Related : 10 Smart Ways to Handle Covert Narcissists
Maybe it was just encouragement, or maybe you asked them if they could help or support you.
Suddenly, suddenly! You’re the bad guy, it didn’t work, and they’re blaming you for forcing them.
What a classic move!
justification
Narcissists are good at trying to justify what they do or say.
And I know this will be hard to hear—but these statements are so misleading they’re not even funny.
Let’s take a look at these five phrases a narcissist uses to try to justify their lie.
6 “I care about you”
Caring is convincing, but a narcissist can use it to their advantage. They can lie all the time, pretending it’s because they care. #7 “I was just trying to help”
But somehow, you made it much worse.
Help me understand how this is possible.
Oh, wait… because you thought you were a good person, when it turned out it was all a lie anyway.
8 “I’ve done so much for you”
One of the most common phrases a narcissist can utter. I think it’s the phrase I hear most often from clients I’ve spoken with.
Do you owe them? What does it mean?
Narcissists do nothing but stir up trouble, and if this is something to celebrate, they need to get their act together!
9 “I never meant to hurt you.”
That’s exactly what you meant to do.
Harm, when repeated often, is intentional, and the narcissist knows it.
10 “I was trying to show you how much I love you.”
Narcissists don’t even know what love means. How can they show it when they don’t know what they’re talking about?
Related : Surprising Alternatives to Calling Out the Narcissist
It’s a way of saying, “Oh my God! That’s so sweet of you.”
My advice: Don’t say it.
Truth: A Weapon
Using the truth as a weapon is a dangerous game that narcissists enjoy.
11 The Past…
Using past mistakes to embarrass you is a nasty way to use the truth to cover up their lie.
I bet you rarely make mistakes, but when you do, the narcissist won’t forget it quickly.
12 Backhanded Compliments
That was clever for you!
Oh my God. Really? Do you want to get that low?
Don’t believe them when they suggest you’re stupid—you’re not.
They profess to be honest when they say you’re smart, but then immediately cover it up with a lie—that you usually aren’t.
Enough!
13 Fake Honesty
I’m just being honest.
You can almost see their smug contempt after they say that, can’t you?
Humiliating you by bringing up a truth that’s actually a lie is a very cheap way to bring you down.
Related : 10 Ways Narcissists Destroy Your Dreams
Yet, it’s very common. It happens all the time.
Narcissists want to make you feel bad, then pretend they’re good, honest people.
Don’t believe a word they say.
14 Secrets…
What secrets does the narcissist know?
Remember your first meeting, and all the little ways you present yourself to others.
They know you so well, actually.
And now, like a weapon of mass destruction, they turn on you and use it against you to lie.
Is there no end to this narcissistic misery?!
15 Comparisons
Trying to justify any anger won’t work, trust me.
I’m not as late/nasty/angry/irritable as they are.
That’s not true, is it? But they want to be, and that’s what they’re trying to do to you. In other words:
You may be with a terrible abuser, but it could be much worse.
Suddenly, staying with them doesn’t seem so bad. So you decide to stay and see if anything between you two improves over time.
I’ll spare you the trouble.
It won’t.