Are you afraid you are stuck in a toxic relationship? And what’s worse is that you still share strong feelings about your toxic partner?
Don’t worry. In this article, I will give you some tips to break free from this cycle of toxicity and save your relationship.
On the other hand, if you feel ready to leave your unhealthy and unhappy relationship, below you will find some useful tips on how to end this relationship for good and how to recover faster. But first, let’s start with…
What Is A Toxic Relationship?
If I had to give a definition of a toxic relationship, I would put it like this: It’s the kind of relationship in which you can’t speak up for yourself, and in which your partner does everything to destroy your self-esteem and make you feel less than yourself.
Rita Richards, LCSW, explains a toxic relationship as “any action, including confinement, isolation, verbal abuse, humiliation, intimidation, custody, or other treatment that may diminish a sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.”
I want to be completely honest with you…being in a toxic relationship is a real make or break situation in life. That is, if your feelings for your toxic partner are so deep that you simply cannot let go, you need to find a way to repair and rebuild your relationship.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship and tired of giving second chances, it’s time to end that toxic cycle and finally save yourself. Save yourself from all that toxicity and abuse… all that mental and emotional pain.
Accept the fact that your significant other is not your soul mate, and is not the person the universe intended you to spend your life with.
The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can walk away and let go of them forever…
14 Different types of toxic relationships
- Console
If your partner wants to control your life and your decisions, and if he always gives you some ultimatum to make you do what he wants, then you are dealing with a toxic person.
Your relationship will definitely fail because love cannot be controlled.
- Abusive relationship
You need to know one thing: If you are experiencing any type of abusive and toxic behavior, you are stuck in a highly toxic and unhealthy abusive relationship. You must end it and save yourself before it is too late… - Partnership with lack of trust
I read a great quote somewhere: A relationship without trust is the same as a car without gas. You can stay in it, and maybe drive it for a while, but it certainly won’t get you anywhere.
If you want to fix your relationship, you must start by building trust. And if you want to know how to do that, here are some simple but effective tips on how to build deep trust between partners.
- Narcissistic relationships
This is perhaps the worst form of narcissistic emotional abuse. This happens when your narcissistic partner makes you question everything, even your self-worth and sanity.
It completely destroys your self-esteem and makes you lose confidence in yourself. Destroying your emotional and mental health makes it easier for your toxic, narcissistic partner to manipulate you. Recovering from narcissistic abuse is harder than you think, especially if you don’t seek help in time.
- Passive-aggressive relationships
Do you ever feel like you’re talking to the wall when you’re trying to talk to your partner about your problems? They say it’s okay or that everything is fine, but their behavior indicates just the opposite?
This means you are in a passive-aggressive relationship. It is a form of toxic relationship where one or both partners do not express their negative feelings at all, but instead choose to withdraw and withdraw the silent treatment.
Related: 7 Alarming Signs Of Passive Aggressive Behavior (And How To Handle It)
- Partners with an annoying mood
If you are dealing with someone who has mood issues, and you have to walk on eggshells around them because you don’t want to make them angry, then you are definitely stuck in a very toxic relationship. - Relationships with dependency issues
Being overly dependent on your partner in a romantic or other type of relationship is not healthy. It creates an unhealthy emotional attachment between partners which will definitely have a negative outcome.
If you want to make your relationship healthy again, you need to work on staying a bit independent, but you should also feel free to rely on your partner for some things you can’t do on your own.
- Relationships built on second chances
The truth is, we all make mistakes and deserve a second chance. However, you can never build a healthy relationship by making room for too many second chances.
If your significant other doesn’t change after you give him another chance, he won’t even after you give him a hundred chances. They won’t do it because they don’t love you, and you don’t deserve to be with someone who doesn’t care if they lose you or not.
- Intertwined relationships
This happens when a couple does not set clear boundaries at the beginning of their relationship. This causes them to become emotionally dependent on each other, and they end up stuck in a toxic and tangled relationship. - Chronic attachment to the phone
Have you ever caught your partner snooping on your phone? If your SO has this bad habit of using the phone, it means they don’t trust you. If there is a lack of trust, your relationship is doomed to failure. - The type of relationship between Jekyll and Hyde
If you feel like you’re dating two different people with completely different personalities, you’re stuck in what’s called a Jekyll and Hyde relationship.
You never know what to expect from them, and you’re constantly walking on eggshells around them. It will soon start affecting your mental health, and you will realize that it is not healthy anymore.
- Crazy competitive relationships
Remember this once and for all: A relationship is not a competition; It is a partnership where both partners need to provide unlimited support to each other.
If your partner is jealous of your accomplishments and seems to always be trying to compete with you, then your partner clearly doesn’t love you as much as you think.
- Volatile relationship
This type of relationship is also known as a turbulent relationship. It happens when both partners feel all kinds of deeper emotions than other people, and are full of constant emotional ups and downs.
This type of relationship often happens because one or both partners are not emotionally mature, because they feel insecure about themselves, or it may even happen because they feel unsure about their relationship.
A lively relationship is full of drama, intense emotions, and burning passion. If they don’t work on their relationship, this toxic pattern will completely destroy it and their emotional well-being as well.
- Relationship with double standards
Double standards in a relationship occur when one partner has high expectations of their partner that do not apply to them at all. This style of relationship is not only unhealthy, it is also highly unfair.
13 Warning signs of a toxic relationship
Have you ever wondered: “Am I in a toxic relationship?”? If you have, I’ll help you uncover the correct answer.
Here are some toxic relationship traits, and if you recognize most of them in your relationship, I’m sorry… I have to break it to you, but you are dealing with a toxic partner.
- Lack of trust
To be honest, every new relationship faces these issues because building trust is a process, not something that can be done overnight.
However, if your partner still doesn’t believe you even after dating you for some time, it’s a red flag that your relationship is unhealthy at all. Trust is one of the building blocks of a healthy relationship, and if there is no trust, there will never be true love.
- Communications
“As couples get to know each other better, there should be progress toward greater understanding and fewer misunderstandings,” says Sue Collod, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist and psychoanalyst.
If there is no healthy communication, you will never be able to solve your problems in a healthy way. This means that your relationship will never be able to progress.
- Support
A relationship is a partnership. This means that both partners need to motivate, encourage and, above all, support each other no matter what.
If your relationship lacks support, or if you feel like you’re alone all the time, this is a big red flag that your relationship is in a toxic cycle.
- Mutual respect
If insults, belittling, insults, silent treatment, and constant criticism have become part of your relationship, mutual respect has clearly left.
And you should know that love always follows respect, so you can expect love to leave your relationship very soon as well.
- Constantly walking on eggshells
If you are not able to talk freely and openly about everything with your partner because he has a bad mood and you do not know how he will react to it, if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him, then you are definitely in an unhealthy relationship. Extremely toxic person. - Hostile atmosphere
In a healthy relationship, it’s all about understanding, compromise, and respect. If both partners follow these rules, they will always feel comfortable around each other.
On the other hand, if the atmosphere in your relationship is constantly negative and tense, this means that your relationship lacks all of these things mentioned above, and it will not last long.
- Controlling behaviors
Remember, you are the only person who has the right to hold the wheel in your life. If your partner tries to control you or take that wheel away from you, it is a sign that you are with the wrong and toxic person. - Physical abuse
In fact, if you are experiencing any type of abuse (physical, emotional, or verbal abuse), this is a big red flag that your relationship is toxic.
If you feel that your life is in danger, do not hesitate to seek help before it is too late. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline and tell them all about your toxic and abusive partner.
- Unreasonable jealousy
Well, a little jealousy can be good for a healthy relationship. But there must be some limits.
If your partner is constantly jealous of everyone around you, then his jealousy is very unhealthy and toxic, and sooner or later it will suffocate your relationship.
- Ongoing criticism and judgments
I think this hurts more. No matter what you do, no matter how much you try to be better, you still get criticized by those you love and you can do absolutely nothing about it. - Underestimation
This is one of the worst forms of emotional abuse that exists. It destroys your self-esteem and makes you doubt your self-worth. This is exactly the goal of your toxic partner; To make you feel small and insecure.
- Having secrets and lying to each other
Well, I think it’s clear to all of us how dangerous a relationship can be when partners keep secrets and lie to each other.
The truth is that in order to maintain a healthy relationship, even white lies should not be allowed. Because the truth is that those “little white lies” are nothing but lies by omission, which is undoubtedly the worst kind of manipulation.
- Simply put, your loved one makes you happy in everything
Your significant other should make you feel happy, respected, appreciated, and, above all, loved. If they stopped doing all this a long time ago, then your relationship is also over a long time ago…
How to fix a toxic relationship? Is this even possible?
If you care about your partner and your relationship, you should first warn him about what his toxicity is doing to your relationship, and you will try to save him before you make the final decision to break up forever and leave him in the past. .
- Take a break
You need to clear your thoughts and emotions too. Maybe the love you felt for your partner has already faded, but you don’t want to accept it. Maybe deep down you realize that there is no point in staying and trying to save your relationship.
After all, the truth is that toxicity is the biggest relationship killer.
But, on the other hand, you may understand that you still love your significant other as you did on day one, and that you cannot live without him. In this case, it will motivate you to make a greater effort to rebuild your relationship.
The bottom line is that spending some time alone will help you decide what is best for both of you and whether your love is worth a second chance…
- Focus on yourself for change
You’ve been putting up with your partner’s toxic behavior, and this is a big red flag that you’ve neglected your self-worth. Your low self-esteem allows you to stay in such an unhealthy relationship.
Now is the time to change those things and refocus on yourself. Build a good relationship with yourself first because the way you treat yourself is the way everyone else will treat you.
Try to forget all your problems for a while and just think about your physical, mental and emotional health.
Take a health day or do what normally relaxes you. Give yourself a little of that love that you have been giving to others so selflessly. You really owe it to yourself.
- Place all the cards on the table
This time alone will make you and your partner think about your relationship. You will think about all your problems and mistakes, and all the things that were missing in your relationship.
Next, you two should sit down and talk. Open up and talk about everything you’ve been bottled up inside yourself for too long.
Don’t blame them for your bad relationship, but stress that their toxicity is destroying your connection, destroying your relationship, and killing your love.
- Find the root cause of poisoning
This step is especially important if your partner was not behaving in an unhealthy and toxic way at the beginning of your relationship.
Obviously something happened that made them treat you differently.
They’ll probably open up to you about it and admit the real problem, but if they don’t, you’ll have to figure it out on your own. You will have to indulge in some detective work.
Maybe you hurt them in the past and didn’t even know it. Maybe they heard something bad about you. It is also possible that someone is trying to separate you and make your partner think that you did something bad to them…
The bottom line is that the sooner you discover the cause, the faster you can fix it and save your relationship.
- Stop dwelling on your past issues
Ok, you identified the reasons and identified all your worries and problems. I talked about it, and now all you have to do is leave all that stuff in the past.
They really belong to the past because they cannot bring you anything good for the future. If you keep talking about it and keep rubbing your mistakes in each other’s faces, you will never be able to save your relationship.
Try to work on finding solutions to all these problems. Try to accept your mistakes and make sure you do not repeat them again. Focus on the future of your relationship because that is all you should care about from now on.
- Heal individually first
In order to build a healthy relationship, you have to heal your wounds first. It is a process you have to go through yourself.
Yes, you should be each other’s biggest motivation to heal, but you still have to do it individually. Accept your mistakes and embrace all the bad things that happened to you. Let them make your relationship stronger instead of causing distance between you.
- Maintain your personal space
After you agree to give your relationship a second chance and decide to meet again, you need to set clear boundaries regarding your personal space.
Don’t think that this is a bad thing or that it may affect your relationship negatively. This will actually help you stay happier and calmer, and will definitely make your relationship deeper and stronger.
- Be patient and give it time
Building a healthy relationship is a process that takes time, and rebuilding a relationship takes even more. The easiest thing you can do is walk away.
But the important point is to fight… to fight for your love, and to stay with someone you love with all your heart despite all his faults and mistakes.
So be patient and trust in your love.
- Try a support group
There are many couples who seek professional help in order to rebuild their relationship and make it healthy again. This may be useful for you as well.
You can also form a support group and ask them for help. These can be your family members or friends, because after all, they are the people who know you best.
How to get out of a toxic relationship? 8 steps to make
Leaving a toxic relationship won’t be easy… that’s for sure, especially if you still love your partner just as much. However, if you follow these steps below, I assure you that it will be as painless as possible.
- Silence your heart and listen to your mind for change
The first thing you need to do is have an honest conversation with yourself. Put all your cards on the table and ask yourself this serious question: What are you looking for in a relationship?
If you see that the other party is not at all interested in trying to save your relationship, it may just be because they don’t love you, or at least, they don’t love you as much as you love them.
And my dear, if there is no love, there is no point in fixing things. There is no point wasting your valuable time on someone who doesn’t care about you at all.
I know there’s a constant battle between your heart and your mind, but this time, you really have to let your mind win.
Let them watch you leave and exit your toxic relationship. Stop thinking about saving your relationship and start thinking about saving yourself.
- Stop romanticizing your unhealthy relationship
It’s not love when your partner wants to spend 24/7 with you together; It’s called possession. It’s not love when they’re constantly checking up on you; It’s called jealousy.
There are a lot of things like this that we all need to stop romanticizing in relationships because those are not signs of love. These things are very annoying, and sooner or later, you will understand them too. Let’s just hope it’s sooner…
- Stop making excuses to stay in the toxic relationship too
If they mistreat and disrespect you from the beginning of your relationship, if they never respect you, if they never show that they truly care about you…
So, no…they won’t change, and you should stop hoping for it.
Stop defending your partner, making excuses, and saying it’s just a phase and it will pass. You know you don’t believe it yourself, so it’s time to stop lying to yourself and the rest of the world.
- Make the final decision
First, think about yourself. Are you really happy with your significant other? How many times have you cried yourself to sleep because they hurt you?
Then think about your relationship. Is this really the kind of relationship you hope to find one day? Do you think it has a future…that you and your partner will be together forever?
Think about it all…and make your well-being a priority when making decisions.
- Stick to it no matter what
Your soon-to-be ex-partner may not agree with your decision to break up. They may try to win you back or manipulate you into abandoning your decision.
This is the last thing you should do. You have already made your decision, now you have to stick to it and not make the usual mistake of giving your relationship another chance.
- Practice the wonderful art of surrender
This doesn’t mean you should let your partner go. It means you have to give up all of that.
Get rid of the memories you shared together. Get rid of all the things that remind you of her. Finally, release your emotions.
- Build a safety net
You need to think about your breakup and plan it down to the last detail. Think about how to do this, and what your first step will be when you end your relationship… - Do not leave without proper closure
If you leave things unfinished, you will keep coming back looking for the ending, and you will never be able to leave forever.
How to overcome a toxic relationship? 7 tips to heal faster
You have to understand one thing: Even if you listen to all these tips and follow them blindly, it does not mean that you will get over your breakup quickly.
God made us different, and we all deal differently with the kind of loss and grief it leaves behind. So, try to listen to your heart more and wait for it to recover completely no matter how much time it will take.
- Don’t run from your feelings
I’m sure you’re confused, and your emotions are all over the place. It’s actually quite normal because you’re ending a relationship with someone you still really love.
If you feel like you need to cry, do so. If you want to eat chocolate and ice cream all day, go for it. The worst thing you can do right now is to continue to suppress your feelings and pretend that everything is fine in front of others.
- Keep the positive energy flowing
Trust me, you will need it. Don’t allow your depression to get the best out of you and leave you in a miserable state where you end up hating yourself.
Set up a support group for yourself, and surround yourself with positivity.
- Accept that some things are simply not meant to be
Do you believe in soul mates? If not, I don’t blame you at all. In fact, most people believe that soulmates are overrated. However, I belong to the group of people who have chosen faith. I choose to believe in true love.
If you couldn’t stay together, it was a clear sign from the universe that they simply aren’t the right person for you.
- Give your heart time to heal
This is perhaps the most important step. The grieving process takes time, and healing takes time too. As much as you want to, you can’t forget someone for more than one night.
Just because you left someone doesn’t mean your heart did the same. This does not mean that your heart is ready to do the same.
So, give your heart a break. Let him get used to the fact that the other side is no longer a part of your life. Give him the opportunity to heal his emotional wounds in peace and make room for a new person in the future…
- Engage in self-care
I understand that your heart is suffering the most right now, but this is a time when you need to focus on your physical and mental health as much as you just feel the pain in your heart. Trust me, it leaves consequences everywhere…in your heart, in your soul, and unfortunately, in your mind as well.
Well, you can cry, listen to music, and wear your pajamas all day, but this stage shouldn’t last long. Change your self-care habits and do something you’ve never done before.
Have a health day at home or change something about your physical appearance. Believe me, even the slightest change will be beneficial for you and will help you take your thoughts away from your past relationship.
It’s time to love yourself more!
- Be proud of yourself and everything you have been through
There’s actually one person you should be really proud of. They deserve it because they were so strong for so long, and were brave enough to walk away from an unhealthy relationship.
You see, there is something positive in every bad thing. I’m sure you weren’t aware of your power until you had to go through all of this.
Now, you are fully aware of your abilities and strength. This will help you get back on your feet and move forward faster.
- No matter what happens, never blame yourself
Your significant other clearly has mental health issues, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s not something I caused or provoked.
Victims of toxic relationships often blame themselves, or their partners manipulate them into thinking they deserve to be treated the way they are. But the truth is that no one deserves to be mistreated or abused in any way, no matter what they do.
As I already said; Moving on from a toxic relationship is very painful and the recovery part will be even harder. If you need more encouragement, or anything that will help you ease your pain, you can check out these quotes related to toxic relationships.
