Emotional abusers are not hard to spot because you will definitely find yourself feeling drained when you are around them.
Emotional abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse. It makes the victim feel worthless, low on self-esteem, and may feel completely dependent on their abuser. It can be incredibly damaging to their mental health, but how can you avoid getting into a relationship with an emotional abuser?
Are there any warning signs that raise red flags that warn us that they may be emotionally abusive? We think so.
Here are some ways you can spot an emotional abuser:
- Verbal Humiliation
An emotional abuser will delight in humiliating their partner in public and want to cause them as much embarrassment as possible.
- Emotional abusers can be cruel
They usually have no empathy for people, their partner, or animals. Their only concern is themselves. If it doesn’t hurt them, they won’t really bother.
- Isolation from family and friends
Isolating your partner from those closest and dearest to you is one of the first things they do. This can be through moving physically or making it difficult for them to see others.
- They want to make you think they’re perfect
Emotional abusers don’t accept flaws in others and so they want you to think they’re perfect, but they’re far from it. They may work hard to project an image of perfection but look closely and you’ll see the cracks. From their image to the work they do, it’s all smoke and mirrors.
- Controlling money
Having absolute control over the money that comes into the house is a surefire way to keep someone exactly where you want them. Preventing them from working and keeping the money keeps their victim submissive.
- Constant mood swings
Not knowing what mood your partner will be in is not only extremely stressful, it can also result in high levels of anxiety. It can also make you want to please your partner even more so that they’re always in a good mood.
- Charming and helpful at first
Many people who end up with emotional abusers say they were drawn to their partners because they were charming and confident. This made them naturally drawn to them.
- Emotional abusers can be childish
At first, emotional abusers may seem charming, but if they don’t get what they want, their childishness soon shows. They will make unreasonable demands and leave you wondering what you did wrong.
- They have problems but won’t admit it
It’s clear that people who emotionally abuse others often do so because of something that happened to them in the past. When people face these issues, they become healthier human beings, but refusing to accept that anything happened is extremely harmful, not only to that person but to those around them.
- They Blame You for Their Unhappiness or Problems
If you didn’t go out that night, if you didn’t look at that guy in the supermarket, if you didn’t have so many exes, etc. etc. The abuser will blame all of their problems on anyone but their own actions.
- They Can Be Very Jealous
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. The abuser’s subconscious will ask, “Why is this person with me?” However, their conscious will warn them that their partner is disrespecting others by flirting with them, even if this is only in the abuser’s mind.
- Emotional Abusers Are Judgmental
An emotional abuser will be quick to judge another person. Anything can set them off, they may have gone to the wrong school, worn the wrong type of clothes, or hung out with the wrong type of people. If the abuser sees them as any kind of threat, they will walk away.
- They want to project the perfect image
Image can mean many different things to the abuser, and it doesn’t even directly mean anything to them. For example, projecting a good image could mean that they sent their children to the best school, or that their children got the best grades. As long as something they do with them goes well, they’re happy.
- They whine or withdraw for days when they’re upset
This is childish behavior and follows a pattern where the victim realizes that it’s easier to appease the abuser and not upset them in the first place by modifying their behavior, rather than enduring days of not talking.
