Weight is now an issue that most people are brutally aware of. Whether you feel like you have too much of it or not enough of it – weight is a hotly debated point.
When you decide you want to make some changes to your weight, you should do so because you want to or need to.
There should be no influence on your body other than your own personal goals.
Narcissists, in their entitled states, feel like they can dictate to you and tell you exactly how to be.
This is not true.
As your weight changes, they will react.
Let’s examine them now.
Changes…
They are inevitable!
We grow older, we start families. Some of us may develop a physical illness that means we are less mobile.
Other times, you may have an illness that causes you to lose a lot of weight, or you may simply want to shed a few pounds that pushes you into an unhealthy weight category.
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Changes come, and with them come the narcissist’s reactions.
Weight Loss
1 Jealousy
Stop doing anything to improve your life or feel better about yourself!
Narcissists will put you on their jealousy list!
God forbid they do anything to change their life for the better.
2 Get Rid of Things
Listen, no matter what you do with your weight, be prepared to get rid of you at some point.
You can be pushed into doing something, and they will blame you for it. You can choose to do something yourself, and they will still blame you.
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In this case, the blame will come in the form of abandoning you (temporarily or permanently).
3 Accusations
You’re losing weight! Who’s the lucky one?
Why are you getting thinner? Who are you trying to impress?
Who are you trying to impress?
You’re cheating!
Honestly – get some rest, narcissist!
Maybe, just maybe, they’re doing it for themselves!
4 Hurtful Comments
You look ridiculous.
You’re aging too fast.
The more weight you lose, the more tired and worn out you look.
Really?!
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Is that how you act with someone who is trying so hard to do something for themselves?
Likewise, if you get sick and lose weight, you don’t want to hear such comments at all.
…and that’s exactly why a narcissist says them.
5 They’re a Victim
What about me?
Why would you put yourself first when I need you?!
A narcissist hates you being proactive, and they want to shrink you back to that little mansion they used to control you in.
Don’t play that game anymore!
6 Punishment
Silence.
Anger.
Threats.
A narcissist will punish you for daring to look and feel better than you did before.
It’s like doing anything positive for yourself is a crime. They’ll act as if it’s in the hopes that you’ll stop and go back to your old self.
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Be strong!
7 “I used to prefer you”
I think I speak for all of us when I say:
Oh, shut up.
If you’re getting more attention from people commenting on your weight loss, it’s going to be harder to ignore the narcissist.
Hard!
Weight Gain
1 Withholding Sex
When you think you can’t find yourself more insecure than you have been lately, the narcissist will take away any scraps of affection they have left for you.
Deliberately withholding sex is a form of abuse, and on top of any weight changes you’re going through, it’s going to feel even harder.
The narcissist wants to blame you all the time, so if your body is changing, they’re going to have a problem with that.
This means they can point fingers at you and tell you how much you’re failing.
You’re weak. You don’t care about yourself, so you’re not fit to care for them.
As a final punishment – they’ll withhold sex.
2 More Hurtful Comments!
The hurtful comments fall like air from the mouth of a narcissist.
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They will reach your ears very quickly, and they will aim to make you feel worse than you already do.
That is their goal. Their hurt will never stop.
3 Get Rid
What better way to leave you out in the cold than to get rid of you completely?
The narcissist will see that you are trying to make up with them, but they will not care. Instead, you will be left neglected and isolated, wondering what you did wrong.
Why would anyone love you only from one perspective?
4 Feed Your Gain, Then Insult You
If you notice weight gain while you are with the narcissist, try not to think that it is the end of the world.
We are all different in build, and weight is just a vessel that holds us. It can be lost or gained by changing your diet and focusing more on where you find your happiness.
No one should tell you what you look like, or insult you for the way you look.
Love is not like that, I promise.
It’s common for narcissists to see you as a threat to their self-image. Over time, this can feel like an attempt to change you so that you feel insecure about yourself. They then hold this against you, humiliating you for the changes in your appearance.
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I’ve seen it many times, and I know the effect it has on those who suffer from such cruelty. However, one thing remains:
This behavior goes unnoticed to the point where it barely registers.
It’s time to start noticing it.
5 Refuse to Take the Blame
Well, I’m not forcing you to eat the takeout I order every other day.
You’re so fat! Don’t blame me for telling you to eat less.
Narcissists will make comments to you so you can assess your weight.
If you dare do anything about it (whether it’s losing weight by eating healthier, or gaining weight by “pampering yourself” more), they won’t take the blame.
Remember – nothing is the narcissist’s fault!
(Eye roll).
6 Repeat that you’re unlovable
As if you weren’t already feeling these feelings from the horrible toxic narcissist anyway.
If you were that lovable, why would they choose you as their mate? Surely the noble thing to do would be to leave you or walk away from you.
Nope.
A narcissist loves to tell you that there is nothing lovable about you, and at the same time, they will never leave you alone.
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What kind of message does this send? They tell you that any weight changes are negative, and that they will not go away.
7 Compliment other women they find more attractive
Is there a worse way to make you feel inadequate or play on your insecurities?
This can come from any narcissist, whether it is your partner, a friend, or a relative.
It doesn’t matter what you look like or what weight you have, a narcissist will compare you if they know it will upset you.
Oh, I don’t mean to upset you.
You know I’m just kidding.
It wouldn’t hurt to try harder, that’s all I’m saying.
All of these ridiculous excuses they make to try to bring you down and make you hate yourself more are nothing but cruel and calculated attempts to hurt you more.
