Narcissists’ lives revolve around winning, generally at the expense of others.
Many narcissists take a win-at-all-costs, anything-goes approach.
Victims: Honesty, empathy, and reciprocity.
Narcissists distort the truth through misinformation, oversimplification, ridicule, and sowing doubt. Narcissists can be incredibly skilled at using classic elements of thought control and brainwashing.
To break free from the control of narcissistic thought, it is necessary to discover the distortions that narcissists deliberately and instinctively practice. Applying critical thinking skills can immunize you against their campaigns.
Here are 14 thought control techniques that narcissists frequently use:
1) Emotional appeals: Attempting to play on emotions such as fear, guilt, and loyalty rather than using logic and reasoning.
Narcissists use emotional appeals to hide false or outrageous claims. Since many narcissists tend to be drama kings or queens, using excessive emotion to control others is normal for them.
Example: How dare you ask me! After everything I’ve done for you.
2) Bandwagon: Trying to pressure the other to move forward because everyone is doing it.
Narcissists know the power of numbers. They meekly follow people like them on social media and other measures of interest. Having many followers reassures them of their value. They use the power of groupthink and peer pressure to play on others’ fears of missing out, being ostracized, or making mistakes.
Example: All your friends agree with me.
3) Black and White/Either or: Pretending there are only two options when there are several.
Narcissists view the world in an either-or way. Nuance is lost on them. They derive a sense of power from the divide and conquer approach.
Example: Are you with me or against me?
4) Burden of proof: Emphasizing that the speaker does not need to prove his point, but rather the burden of refuting it falls on the listener.
Such a correct attitude comes easily to narcissists. Narcissists like to take credit but have little interest in admitting their mistakes. They hate being wrong, so putting the burden on others to prove them wrong is a crippling strategy that makes refuting them time-consuming and tedious. Even if you point out their mistake, they will likely dismiss it or get distracted and change the subject.
Example: I know I’m right. What I say stands until you can prove otherwise.
5) False flattery: flattering others to make them more receptive to their arguments.
Narcissists rarely receive a compliment they don’t like. They believe that others are as susceptible to flattery as they are. They shower listeners with false compliments, hoping to get things in return.
For example: I can’t manipulate you, you’re too smart to do that.
6) Skepticism: Acting as if what someone said is not believable.
Narcissists often use this tactic when they don’t understand what another person is saying. Instead of admitting they are confused, they pretend that what the other person is saying is not believable. This is an attempt to dismiss valid concerns.
Related : When Your Kids Turn Against You In Favor of the Narcissistic Parent
Example: Do you seriously think that there are other husbands better than me? Do you really think that other wives come close to what I gave you? You don’t live in the real world.
7) Labeling: making a negative statement or attributing negative qualities to a person or position.
Narcissists love labels. Having a single word to invalidate or humiliate another person seems like absolute power to the narcissist.
Example: You are very needy. you are a loser.
8) False compromise: Offering to meet halfway on issues where there is clearly a fair and unfair choice.
If the narcissist has a choice to treat another person fairly or unfairly, a compromise that still treats the other unfairly is not a compromise, it is still wrong.
Example: Okay, you win, I’ll give you $50 back of the $100 you gave me and we’ll break even. Hey, it’s better than nothing.
9) Empty promises: Promising to give you what you want without any plan or intention to keep the promise.
Example: You will get your turn. I promise you.
10) Quoting out of context: repeating only part of what someone else said or using someone else’s words completely out of context.
Narcissists do this to discredit others and put them on the defensive.
For example: I’ve always said that people should take responsibility for themselves, so I didn’t think you needed my help when you had to go to the emergency room.
11) Sarcasm: mocking or ridiculing another person, their requests, or their feelings.
Narcissists devalue others through sarcastic comments, sarcasm, or hostile humor rather than by taking the other person seriously.
Example: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re just embarrassing yourself
12) Slippery Slope: An appeal to fear that takes a small problem and predicts that it will lead to an escalating series of worst-case scenarios.
The goal is to use extreme assumptions to distract from a reasonable complaint or argument.
Example: If I do it for you, you’ll think you can get what you want from me. I will become your slave and have no life.
13) Dehumanization: Classifying others as inferior, dangerous, or evil to justify their persecution or elimination.
The ends justify the means tactic is second nature to narcissists, who view most other people as inferior.
Example: They bring drugs. They bring crime, they are rapists.
14) Slogans: A simplistic phrase aimed at silencing opposition.
Narcissists often use euphemisms when they feel threatened.
