Have you ever considered the possibility that the powerful, impenetrable narcissist in your life might have hidden fears? Oftentimes, hidden fears lurk beneath their tough exterior.
They’re well-hidden, and the narcissist will do everything they can to keep their fears safe and private.
Here are 14 things narcissists are secretly afraid of.
1 Exposure
One of the deepest fears narcissists carry is the fear of exposure—of having their flaws and insecurities revealed to the world. They’ll do anything to maintain their fake persona.
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You see, they’re not just protecting their pride. They’re protecting their fragile ego. When they’re exposed, they feel threatened and vulnerable.
It’s not just embarrassment. It’s a blow to their self-constructed reality.
2 Criticism
When you criticize a narcissist, be prepared for a backlash because their fear of criticism is deeply rooted in their need for perfection and admiration. They’re hypersensitive to any perceived slight, and they often respond with anger or defensiveness.
This fear stems from their inflated self-image, which they desperately try to maintain. As a result, your criticism is not seen as constructive but as a direct attack on their character.
3 Rejection
Just as criticism can feel like an attack on the narcissist’s character, rejection can be even more devastating. It’s as if their perceived self-worth is contradictory, often fueling the narcissist’s rage or pushing them into despair.
4 Losing Control
Losing control is a narcissist’s worst nightmare, causing them great anxiety and driving them to need to dominate their environment. It’s not just about manipulating others; it’s about maintaining their self-image.
Their carefully constructed facade can crumble if they can’t control their surroundings. This fear often motivates their suppressive behavior, making them more aggressive in their quest to maintain control.
5 Abandonment
The fear of abandonment can be consuming for a narcissist, as they intensely fear losing their much-needed sources of narcissistic supply. This fear drives them to manipulate and control those around them.
They will cling desperately if you are in their life, and they are terrified of losing you. But remember, it’s not about you – it’s about their fear of being alone, without the attention and validation they crave.
6 Not Being Special or Unique
While abandonment is deeply disturbing to a narcissist, another aspect that keeps them constantly on edge is the possibility of not being seen as special or unique.
To you, their need to stand out may seem excessive. But to them, being ordinary is a nightmare.
They crave the spotlight, and the idea of blending in with the crowd brings them an unbearable fear that they desperately try to escape.
7 Emotional Intimacy
Diving into the world of emotional intimacy can be a daunting endeavor for narcissists.
Their fear lies in the vulnerability that comes with true emotional intimacy. They prefer superficial interactions to hide their flaws.
Instead of sharing their feelings, they withhold their true selves, avoiding the risk of exposure. Emotional intimacy threatens their carefully constructed facades, and that’s what they fear.
8 Failure
To narcissists, failure is not an option; it’s a terrifying prospect that threatens their carefully crafted self-image.
They’ve built a persona of perfection and success, so any hint of defeat deeply shakes their confidence.
The mere thought of failing, or not being their best, sends them into a state of anxiety and distress. This fear often drives them to strive for success.
9 Dependence
Let’s move on from their fear of failure to another aspect that terrifies narcissists: the prospect of dependence.
They fear being dependent on others, which makes them feel weak and vulnerable. They can’t stand feeling less than self-sufficient.
This fear often drives them to extreme behaviors to prove that they don’t need anyone else. Dependence, to them, is like defeat.
10 Insignificance
Feeling insignificant or unimportant can be a narcissist’s worst nightmare. They crave being the center of attention, the most important person in the room. It’s not just about vanity, it’s their lifeblood.
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They are likely to increase their attention-seeking behavior if they feel like they’re fading into the background. It’s a desperate attempt to avoid the fear they fear most: becoming insignificant.
11 Insignificance
Just as a narcissist can be haunted by the fear of becoming insignificant, the fear of insignificance can also haunt them. They crave the spotlight, fearing that without it, they’ll become insignificant.
This fear drives them to constantly seek attention, which makes them feel worthy.
12 Being Outdone
In the spotlight of life, their fear of being outdone can greatly shape their behavior as a narcissist.
They always strive to be the best, to be superior to everyone else. This fear of being outdone by others feeds their constant need for recognition and validation.
When someone else shines brighter, it threatens their self-esteem, causing them to react negatively, often with jealousy and anger.
13 Their Own Feelings
As a narcissist, confronting their feelings can seem like an impossible challenge, and this often leads to denial or distortion of feelings. They fear the complex and raw vulnerability of true feelings, so they suppress them.
However, this denial can lead to emotional turmoil, as unprocessed feelings don’t simply go away. It’s a constant, draining battle, but confronting their feelings is a fear they hide.
14 Aging
While suppressing their feelings can lead to internal conflict, another fear they may face as narcissists is the fear of aging. This fear stems from the loss of beauty, power, and control.
They may go to great lengths to maintain their youthfulness, as aging threatens their self-image. The prospect of losing admiration due to age can be very upsetting to them.
Final Words
They will never show it, but narcissists are afraid of many things. They do everything to maintain their false image of themselves as perfect, and there are many threats to remove this image.
