Do you always keep an eye on your friend’s whereabouts?
Do you get upset when he spends time with his friends instead of spending time with you?
look:
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your partner to yourself; This is part of being in a committed relationship.
But it’s important to be careful about how tightly you hold it.
After all that:
You may not realize it, but being too needy and controlling with your boyfriend can quickly turn your relationship into a toxic one.
Kicker?
Without anyone letting you know, it’s hard to notice that you’re a toxic friend.
What you think is a loving gesture for your partner’s well-being may be toxic and destructive behavior.
That’s why reflecting on your behavior can help keep you both healthy and happy.
Related : 14 blatant signs a married man is using you (and what to do next)
So, here are 14 ways to know if you’re a more toxic girlfriend than you thought.
- You tend to pry into their things
When you visit his room, are you curious about his belongings?
Do you start touching things you know you shouldn’t touch?
Now, being the girlfriend certainly has its perks like moving things around and offering organizational suggestions.
There’s nothing wrong with asking your partner about the things inside their room – who’s in that picture frame, where they got their medals, what those band posters are.
Asking about these things out of curiosity and getting to know your partner more is fair, but when you’re trying to find something?
As if he’s hiding something from you?
This may be a sign of a lack of trust.
Another example:
When your partner leaves their phone, do you feel the need to check it to read notifications?
This is an invasion of his privacy and a sign that you don’t trust him, a common trait of toxic girlfriends.
- You can’t afford to be wrong
You believe in the idea that you must always be right.
Although this may have kept your relationship going for some time, it could have serious consequences.
Why?
Because it may cause you to avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes.
Maybe you were once in charge of navigating the road but you both drove down the wrong road.
Maybe I’m wrong there, but if you say he’s just a bad driver, that’s toxic.
The bottom line is:
Taking responsibility, saying you were wrong, and apologizing for your actions are things everyone should learn to do to truly mature and stop toxic behavior.
If you haven’t been able to do this yet, it may mean you still need time to grow.
- You are always worried about your relationship
When you’re walking together in public and you catch your partner glancing at another woman, you immediately feel anxious.
Then you may act coldly towards him, and treat him silently.
Maybe you didn’t want to admit it but you were jealous of the way he looked at another woman.
The worst thing?
Even though it means nothing, you feel catastrophic and immediately feel anxious and fearful for the relationship.
This is a clear sign that you have trust issues in your partner and the relationship.
It’s a toxic trait that will likely cause relationship problems in the future.
- A professional relations coach confirms this
Look, it’s not easy to be objective when it comes to evaluating your behavior. And even if you experience the different signs I describe in this article, you may not want to admit to yourself that you are a toxic girlfriend.
So, how do you know?
One way to know for sure is to ask a professional relationship coach for their opinion. Instead of lying to yourself or failing to recognize the signs that you’re a toxic girlfriend, reach out to someone at Relationship Hero.
Describe your behavior to your relationship coach and trust that he or she will give you an honest answer based on his extensive experience.
What if you are toxic?!
If your coach confirms your suspicions, it’s not the end of the world. You can ask them to help you make a plan to become a better friend and get rid of your toxic traits.
So, don’t panic! Contact one of their coaches and start working on yourself as soon as possible.
- Breakup is the threat you resort to
be honest:
Have you ever threatened to break up with him when you were having a heated argument?
In every argument you have, you always seem to issue the same ultimatum: Either he does what you want or you break up.
You can use this threat often and it works – sometimes.
Other times, your partner may have already decided to continue the breakup because they are tired of your behavior.
Related : 10 surprising reasons why people lie in relationships
This is one of the clearest signs telling you that you might be a bit toxic and even manipulative with your partner.
- You avoid conflicts
Not all arguments in a relationship are bad.
Often, during these arguments partners can discover a better arrangement for their relationship and even come out of it better than before.
But not yours. You hate conflict.
You are afraid that if you start getting angry with each other, you will break up.
So you bottle up your emotions instead.
But the truth is this:
Healthy relationships have an open line of communication.
If you block this important aspect of the relationship, you are encouraging toxicity.
- You know how to treat your partner
You know just what song to play to get him emotional and ready to do your bidding.
You know when to cry to get them to do what you want them to do or to extract their forgiveness.
You think these are harmless little things but in reality, they are toxic and manipulative behavior.
After all that:
It’s a way to get what you want from him unfairly.
- You often criticize your partner
Maybe your partner made a special drawing for you, even if he doesn’t draw well.
Before accepting him, you should mock and criticize his skills.
Sure there may be some lousy stuff out there, but he made it just for you.
look:
There is a fine line between constructive criticism and not appreciating what he did for you.
Your criticism may have hurt him inside, but you’re just trying to make a joke of it.
This is classic toxic behavior.
- You should always monitor the relationship
You follow every “I love you,” every time they open the door for you, every time you give them a gift and they give you a gift.
You use these scales against him when you have a problem in the relationship.
The big problem?
Counting these moments diminishes their value.
Author William Bruce Cameron once said: “Everything that can be counted does not necessarily matter; Everything that matters cannot necessarily be calculated.
If the only reason you’re keeping track of things in your relationship is to see who has the “upper hand,” then you’re in a relationship for the wrong reason.
- You can’t stand being apart from each other – even just for one night
Even when they want to spend the night away, drinking with their friends, you can’t stand it.
You’re asking them to stay with you instead.
Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with your partner, you may still be too clingy.
The bottom line is:
When you always need them to be with you, it encourages codependency, which is not always healthy in relationships.
- Always trying to fix your partner
First, you might suggest what clothes to wear.
They take your suggestion because they trust you.
Then you suggest to them what music they should listen to instead of their favorite music because you think your suggestions are better.
Even though they may disagree, they may agree because they trust you.
This pattern continues until he reaches the point where it dictates his every clothing, reaction, and movement.
Understand that it is no one’s responsibility to “fix” another person.
Although it may seem to you that they are different or that they are doing things “wrong,” remember that people have their preferences.
You don’t set the bar for others. It’s toxic to think you do.
- You always get what you want
If you want to have dinner at a fancy restaurant, you don’t care how little your partner can afford.
And you both eat the meal you want because you can’t stand the smell of his favorite food.
The only thing this promotes is an imbalance in the relationship.
Everything is taking and not giving.
The unfortunate truth?
When relationships are imbalanced, that’s when problems can start to arise.
- You expect perfection
You told your partner that you like sunflowers but he accidentally gave you yellow tulips instead.
Or when he takes a sip of hot coffee, he always says an annoying “ah” afterward.
For others, this may be simple. But you are ready to end your relationship with them.
Talk about being superior!
You demand that your partner is always perfect, otherwise, you feel like you both won’t work out and you have to end it before it gets too deep.
The problem with this thinking is that no one is perfect.
If you can’t see that, this may be one of your most toxic traits.
- You don’t seem to have long-term relationships
Have you had a series of short-lived relationships recently?
Have you asked yourself where all the good guys are and why you can’t seem to find one?
If you keep getting into relationships that don’t last long, the problem may not be in the dating pool; It might be you.
There must be a reason why people keep ending their relationship with you.
If you haven’t taken the time to think about yourself and instead keep hopping from one relationship to another, it may be time to take a break first.
Try to understand why those relationships didn’t work out before.
Did they all have similar remote positions before it was canceled? Did they all say they were tired of you?
If you continue to treat your partners in a toxic manner, don’t be surprised when you keep seeing them leave you.
Admitting that you are the toxic person in the relationship is not easy.
It will take putting your ego aside to see the truth.
But as with all problems, recognition is the first step.
You can learn how to be more tolerant with your partners.
