Do you always keep an eye on your friend’s whereabouts?
Do you get annoyed when he spends time with his friends instead of you?
look:
There is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to yourself; This is part of being in a committed relationship.
But it is important to be careful how long you stick to it.
After all:
You may not realize it, but being so needy and controlling with your boyfriend can quickly turn your relationship into a toxic one.
Kicker?
It’s hard to notice that you have a toxic girlfriend without someone telling you.
What you think is a loving gesture and for your partner’s well-being may actually be toxic and destructive behavior.
This is why reflecting on your behavior can help keep it healthy and happy for both of you.
So here are 14 ways to tell if you’re actually a more serious girlfriend than you thought.
- You tend to snoop through their stuff
When you visit his room, are you curious about his belongings?
Do you start touching things you know you shouldn’t?
Now, being a girlfriend definitely has its perks like moving things along and making organizational suggestions.
And there’s nothing wrong with asking your partner about the things inside their room — who’s in that picture frame, where they got their medals from, which band posters those are from.
Asking about these out of curiosity and getting to know your partner more is fair, but when you’re trying to find something?
Like he’s hiding something from you?
This may be a sign of distrust.
Another example:
When your partner leaves their phone, do you feel the need to check them for notifications?
That’s a breach of his privacy and a sign that you don’t trust him, a common trait of toxic girlfriends.
- You can’t stand it wrong
You believe in the idea that you should always be right.
While this may keep your relationship going for quite some time, it can lead to serious consequences.
Why?
Because it may lead you to avoid taking responsibility for your mistakes.
You may have been responsible for navigating the road at one time but you both drove the wrong way.
Obviously you were wrong there, but if you say he’s just a bad driver, that’s bad.
The bottom line is:
Taking responsibility, saying you were wrong, and apologizing for your actions are things everyone should learn to truly grow up and stop being fat.
If you haven’t been able to do this yet, this may mean that you still need time to grow.
- You are always concerned about your relationship
When you walk together in public and catch your partner glancing at another woman, you instantly worry.
Then you may act cold towards him and treat him silently.
Maybe you didn’t want to admit it but were jealous of the way he looked at another woman.
The worst thing?
Even though it clearly means nothing, you create disaster, worry, and immediately fear for the relationship.
This is a telltale sign that you have issues with trusting your partner and the relationship.
It is a toxic trait that is likely to cause problems in relationships down the line.
- This is confirmed by the professional relations coach
See, it’s not easy to be objective when it comes to evaluating your behavior. And even if you go through the various signs that I describe in this article, you may not want to admit to yourself that you are a toxic girl friend.
So, how do you know?
One way to be sure is to ask a professional relationship coach for their opinion. Instead of lying to yourself or failing to recognize the signs that you’re a toxic girlfriend, reach out to someone at Relationship Hero.
Describe your behavior to your relationship coach and trust that he will give you an honest answer based on his vast experience.
What if I’m toxic?!
If your coach confirms your suspicions, it’s not the end of the world. You can ask them to help you come up with a plan to become a better friend and let go of your toxic traits.
So don’t panic! Connect with one of their trainers and start working on yourself ASAP.
- Breakup is the right threat to you
be honest:
Have you ever threatened to break up with him whenever you got into a heated argument?
In every argument you have, you always seem to sound the same ultimatum: Either he does what you want or you break up.
You use this threat a lot and it works – sometimes.
Other times, your partner may have actually decided to move on with the breakup because they are fed up with your behavior.
This is one of the clearest signs that you might be a bit toxic and even manipulative to your partner.
- Avoid conflicts
Not all arguments in a relationship are bad.
Often times, it is during these arguments where partners can come to a better arrangement for their relationship and even come out of it better than before.
But you are not. You hate conflict.
You are afraid that if you start to get angry with each other, you will definitely break up.
So you have to hold back your emotions instead.
But the truth is:
Healthy relationships have an open line of communication.
- You know how to manipulate your partner
You just know what song to play to get him emotional and ready to do your bidding.
You know when to cry to get them to do what you want them to do or to ask forgiveness for it.
You think these are harmless little things but it’s actually toxic, manipulative behavior.
After all:
It’s a way you can unfairly get what you want from him.
- You often criticize your partner
Perhaps your partner made a nice drawing of you, even if it didn’t draw very well.
Before accepting it, you are mocking and criticizing his skills.
Sure there might be some shoddy items in there, but he made them just for you.
look:
There is a fine line between constructive criticism and an outright lack of appreciation for what he or she has given you.
Your criticism may have really hurt him from the inside, but you are just trying to play it as a joke.
This is classic toxic behavior.
- You always keep tabs on the relationship
You can keep track of every “I love you”, every time they open the door for you, every time you give them a gift and they give you a gift.
You use these scales against him when you have a relationship problem.
The big problem?
Counting these moments devalues them.
Author William Bruce Cameron once said: “Whatever can be counted does not necessarily count; whatever matters cannot necessarily be counted.”
If the only reason you’re keeping track of things in your relationship is to see who has the “higher hand,” then you’re in a relationship for the wrong reason.
- You can’t stand being away – even just for a night
Even when they want to spend the night away, drinking with their friends, you can’t stand it.
You are asking them to stay with you instead.
Although there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with your partner, you may still be very clingy to them.
The bottom line is:
When you always need them to be with you, it encourages codependency, which isn’t always good in relationships.
- You’re always trying to fix your partner
First, you might suggest to them what clothes to wear.
They take your suggestion because they trust you.
Then you suggest what music they should listen to instead of their favorite because you think your suggestions are better.
While they may disagree, they may still agree with you because they trust you.
This pattern continues until he gets to the point where every costume, reaction, and movement is dictated by him.
Understand that it is not anyone’s responsibility to “fix” another person.
While it may seem to you that they are different or that they do the “wrong” things, remember that people have their own preferences.
You do not set a bar for others. Toxic to believe you do.
- You always get what you want
If you want to dine at a fancy restaurant, you don’t care how little your partner can actually afford.
And you both eat the meal you want because you can’t stand the smell of his favorites.
The only thing this promotes is an imbalance in the relationship.
All this requires and does not give.
The unfortunate truth?
When relationships are out of balance, that’s when problems can start to arise.
- You expect perfection
You told your partner you love sunflowers but he accidentally gave you yellow daisies.
Or when he takes a sip of hot coffee, he always does an annoying “Ahhh” after it.
For others, this may be secondary. But you are ready to end your relationship with them.
Talk about overdoing it!
You demand that your partner is always perfect, or else you’ll feel like the two of you won’t work out and that you have to end it before it gets too deep.
The problem with this thinking is that no one is perfect.
If you can’t see it, then this may be one of your most toxic traits.
- You can’t seem to be in a long-term relationship
Have you had a series of short-lived relationships lately?
Have you been asking yourself where are all the good guys and why can’t you find one?
If you keep getting into relationships that don’t last long, the problem may not be with the dating pool; It might be you.
There must be a reason why people keep ending their relationship with you.
If you haven’t taken the time to think about yourself and instead keep bouncing from one relationship to the next, it might be time to take a little break first.
Try to understand why these relationships didn’t work out before.
Did they all have similar away positions before it was cancelled? Did they all say they are sick of you?
If you continue to treat your partners in a toxic manner, don’t be surprised to see that they continually leave you.
Admitting that you are the toxic person in the relationship is not easy.
It will take putting your ego aside to find out the truth.
But as with all problems, recognition is the first step.
You can learn to be more forgiving of your partners.
