You are so beautiful.
I can’t think of anyone better suited for this job than you.
You make every day better.
You can do it, just believe in yourself!…
…No narcissist has ever said that.
You will never hear such phrases because they boost a person’s self-confidence.
Narcissists are hell-bent on destroying it.
I bet you now want to know the top 13 phrases they say in order to do just that…
…Lucky for you then…!
KnowingThePhraseToxic
When you surround yourself with a narcissist for too long, it can sometimes be hard to tell what is toxic and what is not.
They have a way of their own that they can offer snarky remarks under a smile or pretend to have your best interest at heart.
When you can tell the difference – your world will change.
HoldOnToYourConfidence
Your self-confidence doesn’t belong to anyone else, and it’s never too late to get it back even if you’ve lost a big part of it.
Your self-confidence is what carries you through life, and without it, you’re a shadow of yourself.
That’s why you should always be aware of these phrases—and never believe them.
13 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Use to Destroy Your Self-Esteem
- “You wouldn’t go out like that, would you?”
It’s a classic, you’ll agree!
You’re ready and dressed for a night out. For the first time, you’ve taken the time to look good, and despite your diminished self-esteem, you’ve pulled an outfit out of the bag that makes you feel almost normal.
As you grace the narcissist with your presence, he or she walks out with this.
Suddenly you feel smaller than you really are.
You don’t want to go. You want to change your clothes, but it’s too late, so the most likely scenario is that you go dressed in clothes that you feel embarrassed about all night.
Either that or you’re told—or almost told—to change.
- “You won’t make it”
This is a classic line that narcissistic parents use with their children.
Especially children who dare to dream and set big goals for themselves.
The “you won’t make it” statement is meant to destroy your self-esteem so that you stop pursuing your dreams or settle for working 9-5 instead of pursuing what you really want.
This is how narcissists keep you from your true potential. They don’t want you to be more successful than them because they’ll see you as a failure.
- “I’m busy, not now”
Narcissists are always busy when it matters most to you, yet they expect you to give up everything for them.
If you need them, or want to talk, they will do their best to make sure you don’t care by pushing you aside and telling you to calm down.
Over time, you’ll learn that your feelings don’t mean anything. There comes a time when you just ignore your feelings.
- “Okay, calm down”
Oh, we’re having a good time, aren’t we?
Well, we should stop this first!
We can’t have you having too much fun, because that might make you feel good!
Narcissists will sarcastically tell you to calm down or roll their eyes at you if you dare to get overly excited about something you’ve achieved, like your exam results or passing a test at work.
Eventually, you stop being annoying altogether.
- “I can’t stand you acting like this”
Acting like this?!
Narcissists can’t stand you acting even remotely positive, so what’s the difference?
If you’re planning a party or trying to organize simple home improvements, this is a great opportunity for a narcissist to remind you that they can’t stand that in you.
There you are, innocently trying to be assertive or forward-looking, and you’re almost punished for it.
- “Don’t get too excited, it’s embarrassing”
Narcissists will be quick to tell you when they’re embarrassed by you, for one reason only: to blatantly embarrass you.
Let’s say you’re excited about getting concert tickets, looking forward to seeing someone, or positively anticipating a part of your future. In this case, the narcissist will bring you back down to earth.
Your excitement is something they can’t understand. They want to drain your happiness as a result, and they will.
- “When was the last time you got a haircut?”
You don’t have to look perfect to feel good, but it’s nice to look like you’re taking care of yourself and your needs, right?
When a toxic person directly asks you about your appearance, you know they’re trying to make you feel negative about yourself.
They want you to feel like a really bad person.
Why? Because they feel that way every day, and how dare you not?!
- “This food is so cold and spicy, did you put onions in it?”
Well, you know it would be really nice to cook more from scratch. We eat a lot of takeout.
Do you think it hurts to start making different dishes? It seems like you keep cooking the same ones – it’s boring.
Well – that’s what you do.
And it’s not good enough.
It’s hot, it’s cold, it’s spicy, it’s too much garlic, it’s not enough salt – whatever!!
This is the basis of every victim’s story: nothing is good enough.
Talk about ringing alarm bells with your self-esteem.
- “Nobody wants you!”
That’s the age-old truth!
Narcissists really do make sure you’re not worthy of anyone else’s love.
Nobody will ever love or want you—and telling you that makes you feel like the lowest you can be.
- “You’re worthless”
Worthless? That’s a big, hurtful word to describe someone you’re supposed to love, right?
That should ring a bell for you, but you’d be surprised how it doesn’t.
That’s because victims are programmed to disbelieve what they think is true, so logic goes out the window most of the time.
- “I was just kidding”
No, you weren’t.
You were a piece of shit and now you’re trying to pass it off as a joke so you don’t look like the biggest jerk on the planet.
Except nobody else is laughing and you’ve hurt someone’s feelings (as usual).
- “They obviously felt sorry for you”
Obviously, getting that job, or getting a raise, or getting a good deal on something you bought, or making a new friend can’t be because you’re a good person who just happened to be lucky at that moment.
There’s definitely an element of sympathy for you for whatever reason.
This is unkind, unnecessary, and—moreover—untrue.
- “You can’t live without me”
Yes, you can, and you will.
Being told you can’t is supposed to undermine your self-esteem, so you give up trying to live without them.
What’s next?
Oh, that’s right. Then the narcissist can abuse you forever!
