When you first meet someone and fall in love, you never expect them to turn into a narcissist.
You’d expect even less: that they’ll end up taking things you’ll never get back.
But sadly, they do. And they’re also unscrupulous.
Whatever they take from you and you can’t get back, you can learn from it and rebuild your identity.
With time and patience, anything is possible.
Here are 13 things narcissists take from you that you’ll never get back.
When A Narcissist Take
Narcissists are notorious for taking from you, and some of the things they take from you you can get back—if you’re lucky.
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No matter how impossible it may seem when you feel like you have absolutely nothing, you can regain any confidence or self-esteem they’ve stolen.
It may take time, but your worth will soon be measured more by you than by them, and when that day comes, you can rebuild your life.
And then there are other things you can never get back, no matter how hard you try. Here’s where things can get tougher for you.
1 Your Old Self
Your old self was a version of you that attracted narcissists. They were looking for someone kind and charming, someone who would listen to you.
You told them your hopes, your fears, and everything that made you vulnerable. You were asked about your triggers, what made you sad or happy.
While these questions were being asked, the narcissists took notes. They made sure they knew you well.
Your old self was tolerant and tolerant of their treatment of you. This person smiled, nodded, and did what they could to achieve their goals (without any luck). But now things are starting to change, isn’t it? You no longer feel the urge to be so nice that your kindness is trampled on and irrevocably destroyed.
They don’t deserve it, and you don’t deserve it.
You may have left your old self, and you’ll never get that person back.
But if I can reassure you a little, the new you who begins to understand narcissism will be the better version.
Don’t think of the scars you carry as heavy burdens. They’re not.
2 Your Faith in Them
It was there once, wasn’t it?
It was strong, and it was adamant it was true. But now, here you are, and all your trust has been drained.
Here’s something important I want you to remember:
Your faith in them was true. You were determined to see the best in your loved one and gave them a chance to prove their loyalty to you, which they did at first.
Related : Top 10 Ways Narcissists Turn People Against You
Everything that happened after that was riding the wave of love.
Love is a hard habit to break; we often lead with our hearts, not our heads.
In times like these, the heart will lead us further into that abusive relationship.
You shouldn’t punish yourself for believing what the narcissist said. They said these things to keep you close, to ensure you never leave.
You won’t get that back, and you shouldn’t want to.
3 The Love You Felt When You First Met
Nothing will ever compare to the feeling you felt when you first met the narcissist.
Unlike anything else you’ve ever felt, you’ll wish you could bottle it up and release it whenever you need that dopamine rush.
The narcissist stole your love from you, like a thief in the night. They don’t care; they only want it for themselves, and they’ll never give it back.
4 Your Trust
Once trust is lost, it can never be fully restored. I know many people improve relationships, but it all depends on the individual’s desire and the extent of the person who caused the harm.
Narcissists never show remorse, so the trust they broke will never be restored. This is unbecoming of them.
You entered the relationship with a kind and honest heart. It wasn’t your fault.
5 Stuff
Let’s not forget the literal stuff here.
Stuff!
If you notice your stuff missing, and the narcissist wants to keep it, don’t expect to get it back.
Ever.
6 Money
The same goes for money.
Can I borrow…
I just need…
I promise I will…
No. Not all of that. And if you think a cute smile is enough to convince you to hand over your hard-earned cash, think again.
7 Your Reputation
This is partly true, but it’s damaging nonetheless. It’s hard to see your reputation eroded, but it can only be partially restored.
Related : Why Narcissists Lie About Cheating Even When Caught
Some people will believe every word the narcissist says, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
8 Friends
This is how your friends distance themselves from you. They learn the false truth from someone who wants to hurt you: that they no longer want to spend time with you or trust you.
It’s difficult, but it’s normal narcissistic behavior.
9 Time
It can never be reclaimed, even if we’re desperate for it. It’s something you have to accept.
Trust that the time the narcissist wasted was a moment in your life where you learned many lessons.
Resentment only wastes more of it.
10 Emotional Investment
You tried so hard, and you did everything you could to believe the relationship had a solid future. I get it. I know it’s a wake-up call when it all falls apart.
And you feel drained, too. All that energy is gone. Where did you have even a small fraction of it?
However, this can change. It’s never too late to love yourself.
11 Savings
Narcissists view your savings as an opportunity to deplete them.
Life is short.
Let’s take the money and do something fun.
Go on an adventure with me!
Or not?
If your savings are gone, the only thing you can do now is start saving again.
12 Mental Health
You’ll feel better over time, and your mental health will improve, but it’ll never be the same as it was before you met. Who said it was great back then? Start taking care of your health and live a life that reduces stress and increases happiness.
13 Your Source
When you love someone, you’ll do whatever it takes to make them happy, even if it’s at your own expense.
Your Source was precious to them, but like any fuel, it eventually runs out.
Time will give you a new lease on life, one you can keep for yourself and share with the right person one day.
