People in love relationships feel happy, respected, and secure. When the relationship is one-sided and only one person loves them, they feel the opposite. If you are feeling lonely, anxious, and unhappy in your relationship, this is one of the sure signs that she is pretending to love you.
Likewise, false relationship red flags are the opposite of healthy relationship traits. Starting with love, everything that makes a romantic relationship happy is missing, so it’s impossible to feel like you have a real partner.
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What are the signs that pretend to love you?
One of the primary signs that she is pretending to love you is questioning your relationship with your girlfriend. If you feel like something is missing, it’s because it is. When there is no love, there can be no healthy relationship.
Love is only the beginning: without it, everything you need to build a happy relationship may also be missing.
- Lack of vulnerability
A lack of vulnerability makes emotional intimacy impossible – and this is one of the biggest signs of fake love.
- She is emotionally distant
If she claims to be emotionally unavailable, it may just be an excuse. Emotional distance isn’t always about finding it hard to share your feelings, more often than not it’s caused by a lack of anything. - Your relationship is shallow
There is nothing wrong with a superficial relationship if they both want it, but not if one makes it clear that he wants something deeper and opens up and the other rejects it. - Do not share anything with you
You’re curious about everything from her daily life to her innermost thoughts because you care about her, but she keeps you at bay because she doesn’t feel the same. - You feel that you don’t really know her
Emotional vulnerability is about showing an authentic part of yourself and trusting the other person. You don’t know her because she never took advantage of you. - Acted on your attempts to contact
When you put yourself out there and try to bond with her, she turns away because she doesn’t want to try to get to know you.
- Communication problems
Communication problems are relationship red flags that should not be ignored.
- You do not communicate
The point of communication is to get the message the other person wants you to receive, so if that isn’t there, then so is understanding.
- Your conversations are superficial
You only talk about unimportant things instead of showing your inner thoughts to each other and talking about the things that are important, like feelings, dreams, experiences, relationships, and past fears.
- She does not listen to you
She may be engaged in a conversation with you, but she doesn’t really care what you have to say and if you asked her what she talked about five minutes ago, she wouldn’t know. - She talks mostly about herself
Pay attention to her body language when she is talking about yourself and when she is talking about herself and you will see what is the only thing that matters. - Escalate arguments
If you start yelling or go back to previous fights to prove a point, the manipulative woman is not trying to solve your problems, but rather trying to win you over.
- There is no sense in partnership
Two people in a loving relationship are partners and everything between them is mutual.
- Take, but not give
True love is selfless and makes you happy to give the person you love what they need or want. If all you do is take her, does she really love you? - Will not go out of her way for you
She wants all of your attention but she won’t give you any of yours; She wants you to sacrifice your needs and prioritize hers, but she won’t do anything that’s a minor inconvenience to you. - She never does anything for you
Don’t think to call her if you need her during a hard time, because she won’t be there. A clear sign of fake love. - It is demanding
She always wants something more from you and the only thing she wants from you is what you can give her. And she is not shy about asking for it. - Her needs must come first
If she expects you to put her needs ahead of yours, not only does she not love you, but she is exhibiting a toxic trait of narcissism.
- Absence of closeness
Small things and important events – In a healthy relationship, you want to share everything with the person you love.
- Maintain a distance between them
She claims to be too busy with her life to care about yours – even when she’s not busy at all. She just didn’t want to get too close. - You haven’t met each other’s friends or family
In a serious relationship, your partner’s family members and friends also become important to you. And if you’ve never met any of them, chances are your relationship won’t be as serious as you think.
- You keep your relationship confidential
If she wants you to keep things low key, then you’re in a toxic relationship. There is a difference between being a private relationship and being confidential. - She avoids physical intimacy
Unless she’s only with you for this, she rejects all of your offers of physical intimacy. When you kiss, she feels distant, without eye contact or kindness or warmth. - Don’t hug or talk to you after sex
One of the reasons she is with you without the intention of taking things to the next level could be because she is using you for sex. If she is, you can expect her to distance herself the moment she’s done.
- No effort
When she never does anything special for you, she doesn’t do anything at all. A lack of effort is a clear sign that she doesn’t care.
- Make no effort
She never changes her schedule for you, she never does anything thoughtful and she is never dependable. Perhaps none of these things occurred to her.
- Will not compromise
Meeting each other halfway is one of the most important things you need to make a relationship work. If her attitude is “my way or the highway,” she’s just looking out for herself. - Your relationship feels like a struggle
She doesn’t care about your relationship, so she doesn’t feel the need to work for it. This puts the burden on you and you have to deal with the obstacles that come from a lack of care. - She always has an excuse
Whatever doesn’t work, it’s her fault, she can explain it. If she always has an excuse for her behavior without thinking about how you feel, then she is probably just pretending to love you. - Doesn’t put you first
What is true love if it is not about the other person’s happiness? She doesn’t feel like it, so your happiness isn’t important to her and she doesn’t do anything unless it’s right for you.
- Not showing care
She shows no interest because there is none. If she isn’t interested in getting to know you, then she isn’t interested in loving you.
- Don’t show any concern for you
She never worries or worries about you because her feelings have nothing to do with yours. This is a clear sign of fake love. - It treats you like an afterthought
She never thinks about you and does something for you to make you happy. Instead, you get food scraps and waste. Stop worrying about her and save your effort for someone who feels true love for you.
- You don’t want to make any future plans with you
If you propose to do something together in the future, she claims that she cannot think of the future so far away, which she does not know, and that she will tell you about it later. She never does and still asks - She talks about her future without reminding you
On the other hand, she has clear future plans and goals and none of them involve you. This shows you that she doesn’t care enough to involve you in her life. - Not interested in your life
She won’t show interest in what’s going on with you because she doesn’t care. The only thing she cares about when it comes to you is whatever she gets from you.
- There is no sense in resting
A relationship should bring you comfort and security, so if it isn’t there, something is wrong with it.
- Make you feel bad about yourself
Instead of making you smile with encouragement and praise, they make you feel bad about yourself with harsh words and a dismissive attitude that hurts you.
- Criticize you
She has a commentary on everything you do and loves to tell you how wrong or stupid you are or how you always do something that annoys her. - She looks down on you
When someone feels true love for another person, they want to uplift their value and make them feel valued. If you always feel vulnerable, there is no love out there. - Make you feel inappropriate
Even if you like a certain trait of yourself, you will find a way to admit that it isn’t as good as you think it is. She enjoys making you feel less than you are. - It’s only nice when you want something
It’s easy to fall into this manipulative behavior because you love her. To find out if she will love you even if you have nothing, try saying no a few times and see what happens.
- Lack of confidence
It is impossible to avoid trust issues when someone is unwilling to do the work required to build it.
- Her actions and words do not match
She tells you one thing and you do another, so you start to wonder if she’s lying or if she’s not even thinking about what she’s telling you. - You can’t rely on them
You can’t count on her for anything because there is no bond between you. You have to be able to count on your partner to be there for you and she is not one to count on. - They are never there when you need them
When you need something, she doesn’t hesitate – she reaches out to you and asks. However, if you need something, you won’t find it anywhere.
- Make empty promises
At this point, I’ve stopped taking her promises seriously. She never keeps them, but she swears that next time she will come, but you have no reason to believe her. - She Doesn’t Support You: If she’s the one for you, she won’t avoid you when you need emotional support. Instead, she would do anything she could to show you that she is on your side
- No security relationship
You won’t have to wonder if the woman you like is just waiting for someone you like better if she doesn’t just show it to you.
- Talk openly about attraction to other people
You talk about her attraction to other people so much that you wonder if she’s looking to replace you or if she’s really unfaithful and you see the warning signs that she has multiple partners.
- Flirt with others on social media
You might say that she and some of her followers are just friends, but they are always nice and sweet to each other. You might go a step further and flirt with people right in front of you. - You like to attract the attention of others
When you are the center of attention, she forgets about you and doesn’t feel the need to apologize. If you are important to her, others will not be important. - It feels like a one-sided relationship
To make a relationship work, it takes both people. If one person is not as invested as the other, an imbalance of power is inevitable. If you feel like all of your energy is being spent on keeping this relationship alive, chances are she is just pretending to love you. - You feel insecure
If her behavior makes you feel insecure about your relationship, if she doesn’t know your situation, if she never assures you of her feelings, then all you have is fake love.
- Low level of communication
She only shows up when she needs something from you, so how can you not doubt her feelings?
- You are the only one who communicates with you.
You want to build an emotional connection and for your relationship to grow, but that’s impossible if she never contacts you. If you don’t text her, you won’t text her, so you’re the one who’s always reaching out. - She cancels appointments with you
She backs away from you because she doesn’t feel like it or something more fun comes up, but she always has an excuse. If she likes you, seeing you will be the most important thing to her. - She doesn’t have time to just hang out with you
When you invite her out, she rarely responds unless there is something in her. Instead of building your relationship, she gets what she wants from you.
- She always calls you out at the last minute
The reason she only invited you at the last minute is because she was waiting for someone she considered best to respond. If she loves you, she will think of you more than anyone else will ever think of you. - She just wants to do things when it feels right for her
She will only agree to spend time with you if she has nothing better to do or if it is very convenient. She doesn’t want to care because she’s just pretending.
- Non-compliance
When you love someone, you tell them with words and actions.
- Make decisions about your relationship
The only reason she’s making decisions about your relationship is because she’s making them for herself. She doesn’t care how they affect you, as long as she gets what she wants.
- You avoid uncomfortable conversations
She doesn’t want to talk about anything meaningful or difficult because it doesn’t interest her. When something is bothering you, you feel afraid to address the issues because of their reactions the more you try. - You never say “I love you”
She pretends she likes you, but doesn’t say it unless she specifically wants you to give her something in return. - Don’t make romantic gestures towards you
Don’t expect her to bring you a snack or get you a gift if she’s just pretending. The only times she does something like this is when he gives her direct access to what she wants. - She never tells you how she feels
She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings or she doesn’t like sharing them with you. Talking about her feelings is very personal and very fragile, and that’s what she finds most important.
- Disrespect
The person who loves you stands by you as an equal and you are someone you value.
- Don’t ask for your opinion
If your opinion is important to her, she’ll want to know what it is. If she really didn’t like you, she would try to avoid giving you feedback and receiving any. - want to change you
It is normal for couples to influence each other and offer each other new things and experiences. However, if she’s trying to change things about who you are, she doesn’t like you for who you are. - Compare you to others
You look at other people and find another reason why you don’t agree. Friends, boyfriends, celebrities, she compares you to many of them and yet she never chooses you.
- You ignore your limits
A lack of communication can lead to broken boundaries that are not communicated properly. If she violates them even when she knows them, it is because she does not take them seriously. - Not interested in resolving your disputes
Arguments are normal and healthy in relationships that you handle rationally. But if she overreacts in arguments or shuts you down, she’s not interested in the conversation or making things right.
- The connection is missing
You’ll know you’re in a fake relationship the moment you start wondering if you are. Listen to your intuition.
- Your relationship feels fearful
If you’re wondering if it bothers you, you’re right. Always trust your gut feeling – it makes decisions faster and knows what’s good for you.
- Make you feel lonely
Companionship is the driving force behind the human relationship. If she pulls away when you need her and feels lonely even though you’re together, then she’s not showing you true love. - You don’t feel comfortable with it
A loving and happy relationship is a source of comfort and joy. If you are not calm or relaxed about your relationship, that is a sign that it is not what you want. - She does not take your relationship seriously
You feel like she doesn’t consider your relationship serious and important in the first place, so she’s not making an effort at all.
Why does she pretend that she loves you?
Now that you realize the signs that she claims to love you, there is something you need to think about: If she doesn’t love you, why is she with you and why isn’t she breaking up with you?
If she has any level of care for you, she might put off breaking up because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. She can still only hurt you more by being stressed out in a relationship that can never work out.
If you’re not a nice person, it’s the same for her.
Either way, she is taking advantage of you. She’s getting something from you and she’s not in this relationship because she wants a future with you.
. Here are some examples of what you get out of the relationship:
- She is alone and you are comfortable.
- You have money or property that they can get from you.
- She ended a relationship and is using you as a rebound.
- She is using you to boost her ego and feel better about herself.
- You love another person and you are their back-up.
- She’s attracted to you, but she doesn’t think you’re good enough just yet.
- She is exploring her options and holding on to someone she loves the most.
All of these reasons sound harsh, right? You will probably have an idea which one applies to your situation if your girlfriend is really faking it.
So with a possible reason for her actions in mind and knowing what you’re missing out on when you’re in a fake relationship, you already have your answer as to whether or not she’s pretending to love you.
Don’t just pretend to love yourself
If you recognize your relationship in the many signs that she pretends to love you, then you need to stop waiting for her to change. She never will, so stop seeing her as more important than yourself.
Step back and stop trying to force this relationship. Stop making an effort and give her what she wants. If she comes after you, take a slow, careful look and assess why she’s reaching out: Is it because she loves and misses you, or because she wants something from you?