People with an avoidant personality crave love. However, their fear of abandonment often sabotages potential relationships. This doesn’t mean they can’t love. With an understanding partner, they can learn to trust, and allow themselves to be open and committed. However, can you spot the signs that an avoidant person loves you?

Personality traits of avoidant personality

Anyone who has ever dated an avoidant is aware of their erratic behavior. One moment they are clingy and suffocating, the next they are hostile and silent. How do you know what love is?

The key to recognizing their behavior is understanding how an avoidant person typically reacts to intimacy and what they do when they are ready for love. Before I discuss the signs that an avoidant person is falling in love with you, here are the personality traits of an avoidant personality.

At the heart of the avoidant personality lies the desire for love, intertwined with the fear of rejection.

Avoidant personalities share common traits:

Feels overwhelmed by normal levels of intimacy.
They cannot express what they feel.
It makes you wait for a response or shut down completely.
He rarely incites communication.
Hesitant to take the relationship to the next level.
Tells white lies or omits information to avoid difficult conversations.
Displays hot and cold behavior, usually from one extreme to the other.
He wants you there for company but needs space.
Avoids in-depth conversations or deflects with jokes.
Closed body language; Limited eye contact, rarely smiling.
Doesn’t trust others.
He wants love, but feels suffocated as the relationship progresses.
They describe themselves as “hard to break” or “hard to get”.
Does not share personal information.
Gives mixed signals or is difficult to read.
It is not possible to compromise and adhere to strict limits.
He will not ask for help with anything.
Happy with physical intimacy more than emotional.
Can become emotionally detached during conflict.
He has a solitary lifestyle with few social interactions.

Now we know how the avoidant reacts under normal circumstances. Here are the signs that an avoidant person likes you.

13 Signs an avoidant loves you

1. Their behavior becomes more balanced
   One of the first signs that an avoidant person likes you is calming down their feelings. Avoidants have difficulty controlling their emotions, so you often see hot and cold behavior that varies from one extreme to the other. This becomes more balanced when they feel more confident about you.
2. It becomes more available
   Personal space is important to avoidants. They are isolated people who live inside their heads. In addition to introverts, avoidants need space to analyse, think things through, and recharge their energy. When an avoidant person agrees to or instigates a date, it is a sure sign that he or she is falling in love.
3. They want to know more about you
   Communication is difficult for avoidants, especially emotional topics. As a result, they limit conversations to everyday chatting or practical matters. Asking questions about your personal life shows that the avoidant person is thinking about the relationship.
4. They want to spend time with you
   Avoidants are strict about their personal space and boundaries. They want you around, but on their terms. However, one sign that an avoidant person likes you is when they relax around you. They may even incite contact (which, for the avoidant, means vulnerability and rejection).
5. They use words like “we” and “we” to describe the relationship
   Words are an insight into a person’s thoughts and emotions. The increase in pronouns such as “we,” “we,” and “our” indicates that even unconsciously, the avoidant person is thinking in terms of a partnership. They may not be fully committed yet, but they accept the possibility.
6. They talk openly about their personal lives
   This is a strong sign that the avoidant loves you. Avoidants like to keep their personal lives to themselves. They do not volunteer information easily because they have trust issues. These are hard to solve, so look for any hints they share more than usual.

7. Communication becomes more reliable
   Avoiders can go hours, days, or even weeks without contact. They are unreliable and sparse with responses. If you notice that responses are faster and more consistent, this is a good sign that the avoidant person is falling in love with you.
8. They communicate their needs
   For avoidant people, talking about their needs is like lowering the drawbridge in a castle to their enemy. They leave themselves vulnerable to attack, ridicule, and worse, rejection. Talking about what they need is a clear sign that the avoidant loves you.
9. They engage in acts of service
   People show their love in different ways: some are verbally loving; Others prefer tangible expressions of love, and others engage in acts of service. These are thoughtfully done things that make your life easier, such as washing the dishes, walking the dog, helping with chores, or running errands.
10. They ask you for help
    Relying on someone is risky for avoidants. They risk being let down, or perceived as weak or needy, and they don’t need the emotional hassle of all that. Pay attention to any requests for services or assistance. This is a big sign that the avoidant loves you.

11. They express non-sexual affection
    Avoidants are good at the physical side of the relationship. In fact, many have “friends with benefits.” It’s the emotional side they struggle with. Putting up walls and closing off from others protects them from the intensity of love and passion.

It’s a big problem when they express warmth and endearment.

12. They talk about the relationship
    One of the most reliable signs that an avoidant person likes you is when they talk about the relationship. The last thing an avoidant person wants to do is talk about commitment and the future. They will deflect questions with mixed references or humor. Anything to get off topic.

So, you know it’s a sign that the avoidant likes you when he lets his guard down and communicates openly with you.

13. They make concessions instead of closing down
    Avoidants like to stick to a rigid structure with clear, defined boundaries. They are not spontaneous people who take risks and thrive on uncertainty.