The happy occasion when your loved one meets your friends for the first time is a moment to remember.
You want to treasure it, you want to feel warm and cozy inside.
That’s all well and good… until the narcissist comes along and the red flag starts twitching in your back pocket.
It’s begging to be waved – and these 13 red flag behaviors will let you do it.
For some, 13 is an unlucky number – but for you – these 13 red flag behaviors act as knowledge…
They bring you nothing but the luck you desperately need.
red flag
I have to say, even in this day and age with all the information available about narcissists, red flags are still ignored or dismissed.
What comes to mind when you hear the term red flag?
To me, it’s any type of troubling or abusive behavior that an individual intentionally ignores.
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Often times, if the rose-colored glasses are pleasant enough, the person receiving the message will simply shrug and say, “That’s what they are,” or worse, “Yeah, they’re idiots, but what can I do?”
Sometimes, red flags don’t have to be overtly alarming. They can seem like real charm and seduction. And that’s where things get tricky. You want to know that someone is a terrible person, so you’d rather see them act that way right from the start so you can run the other way quickly!
That’s why people like me exist, and why topics like this come up for you to gain knowledge about.
Knowledge is power!
Let’s check out these behaviors.
1 The Prince Charming Effect
This is a common way to meet a narcissist, as the Prince Charming Effect will draw you in rather than drag them down.
You’re curious as much as you’re flattered by the attention of a super-cool person who’s coming your way.
Because of this, it becomes easy to invite your friends and the narcissist to the same place.
To meet.
To mingle.
To mingle.
While your friends don’t seem to realize the narcissist’s true motivation, the narcissist is having a great time presenting himself as the perfect person.
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All manners are intact. Your friends’ ears are open to listening. Offers to do the dishes are falling from their mouths.
There’s nothing more they can do to help or produce this image of Prince Charming.
They’ve been working on it and creating it for so long, you’re just their next victim.
2 The Loving Loyal
I love you and I won’t leave your side!
Whatever you have to say, you can say it to both of us!
I’m here for you!
I love you so much!
I can’t believe how lucky I was to find you!
And so on, so on.
The loving and loyal person may come across as overly loving and loyal when the narcissist meets your friends.
It’s like they’re claiming you, wanting everyone to know that you’re now a couple—together—as one.
How disgusting.
4 Trying to Make a Joke of You
It’s the one thing you all have in common at this point in time – you.
So the narcissist is keen to bring people together and make a little joke about you. It can be subtle, sure. Here and there, little comments or jibes.
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But these are red flags designed to annoy and upset you. The narcissist wants to put you down, and it starts out that simple but it works.
5 Extreme Political Talk
Well, who wants to talk about the upcoming election in a room full of strangers?
The one who wants attention and who wants to seem important and smart.
Forgive me, but there is a time and a place. Take your politics and red flags elsewhere.
6 Asking Questions About Your Exes
So, what’s my number then?
Am I nicer than her exes?
Does she still talk to her exes?
Narcissists may not be very good when it comes to finding out about your past.
They’ll want to know the details, and questions that start innocently may not end that way.
What they find out they can do in no time.
Even worse—if your exes were abusive, they can win you over before they do more of the same.
7 Not Revealing Information About Themselves
The less you know, the better. All in the name of staying under the radar and appearing like the “nice guy.”
I mean no harm.
I’m not here to argue.
Just ignore me.
Don’t talk to me.
Not only does this sound rude, it sounds insincere.
It’s not about being shy. It’s about being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
8 Offering to Pay for Everything
Okay, we get it. You have money. You’re carrying around an exorbitant amount of money.
Do you want a medal, too?
Narcissists are known to flaunt their cash. They like to be seen as a provider, someone capable. Smart enough to make money someday.
Money isn’t everything, believe it or not.
If you weren’t a narcissist, you’d already be aware of this.
9 Ignoring You
You’re nothing to them when they get a half-dozen new forms of supply.
The narcissist will absorb all of this, and leave you for later.
Related : What Narcissists Will Never Admit About Their Past
Later, things turn around, and you’re drained of energy.
10 Deliberately Staying Quiet and Then Accusing You of Not Letting Them Talk
This game is for covert narcissists. They will happily sit in on an event and let you talk. They may seem to enjoy your enjoyment of being in the spotlight.
The moment you walk away?
I sure loved the sound of your voice tonight, didn’t I?
Why didn’t you let me talk?
You were being too controlling.
This is a warning sign to watch out for, because I can assure you it’s not going to get any better.
11 Making Plans Without Saying It
We’d love to!
Hey, you promised to go on a hiking trip next weekend!
It’s okay, you told the narcissist you’d be working that day.
Who cares if you’re afraid of heights?
What if you make other plans?
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The narcissist will want to be seen making a list of fun things to do with you, whether you like them or not.
When you say no, you’re the one with the problem, according to them.
12 Decide what you’re going to eat
You’re going to have a salad.
Just water, please.
No. Hold the fries.
She doesn’t like onions, does she?
Did you say a word?
Can you speak up for yourself?
It’s time to do it, before more red flags appear!
13 Snooping in Public
If the narcissist has been annoying you in private, or if he knows what to say to impress you, he’ll convey it perfectly in front of your friends.
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And no, your friends won’t even notice. But you will. And it’ll confuse you. You’ll wonder why they’re doing this.
That’s a red flag.
