The happy occasion when your loved one meets your friends for the first time is a moment to remember.
You want to treasure it, you want to feel warm and cozy inside.
That’s all well and good… until the narcissist comes along and the red flag starts twitching in your back pocket.
It’s begging to be waved – and these 13 red flag behaviors will let you do it.
For some, 13 is an unlucky number – but for you – these 13 red flag behaviors act as knowledge…
They bring you nothing but the luck you desperately need.
red flag
I have to say, even in this day and age with all the information available about narcissists, red flags are still ignored or dismissed.
What comes to mind when you hear the term red flag?
Related : How To Brilliantly Outsmart A Narcissist
To me, it’s any type of troubling or abusive behavior that an individual intentionally ignores.
Often, if the rose-colored glasses are pleasant enough, the person receiving the message will simply say,
“They’re just regular people,” or worse, “Yes, they’re idiots, but what can I do?”
Sometimes, red flags don’t have to be overtly alarming. They can seem like real charm and seduction.
This is where things get murky. You want to know that someone is a terrible person, so you’d rather see them act that way right from the start so you can run the other way quickly!
This is why people like me exist, and why topics like this come up for you to gain knowledge about.
Knowledge is power!
Let’s check out these behaviors.
1 The Prince Charming Effect
This is a common way to meet a narcissist, as the Prince Charming Effect will draw you in rather than drag you in.
You’re curious as much as you’re flattered by the attention of a very wonderful person who’s coming your way.
Related : 8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make
Because of this, it becomes easy to invite your friends and the narcissist to the same place.
To meet.
To mingle.
To mingle.
While your friends don’t seem to realize the narcissist’s true motivation, the narcissist is having a great time presenting himself as the perfect person.
All manners intact. Ears open to listen to your friends. Offers to do the dishes are falling from their mouths.
They can’t do more to help or produce that Prince Charming image.
This has been something they’ve worked on and built for a long time, and you’re nothing more than their next victim.
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2 The Loving Loyal
I love you, and I won’t leave your side!
Whatever you want to say, you can say it to both of us!
I’m here for you!
I love you so much!
I can’t believe how lucky I was to find you!
And so on, so on.
Related : NEVER Tell A Narcissist These Things During Divorce
The loving and loyal person may come across as exaggerated when the narcissist meets your friends.
It’s like they’re calling you out, wanting everyone to know that you’re now a couple – together – as one.
How disgusting.
4 Trying to make a joke of you
It’s the one thing you all have in common at this point – you.
So the narcissist is keen to bring people together and make a little joke about you. It can be subtle, sure. Here and there, little comments or jibes.
But they’re red flags designed to annoy and upset you. The narcissist wants to bring you down, and it starts small but it works.
5 Extreme Political Talk
Well, who wants to talk about the upcoming election in a room full of strangers?
The one who wants attention and who wants to seem important and smart.
Excuse me, but there is a time and a place. Take your politics and red flags elsewhere.
6 Asking Questions About Your Exes
So, what’s my number then?
Am I nicer than her exes?
Does she still talk to her exes?
A narcissist may not be the best at finding out about your past.
Related : What Narcissists Really Mean When They Say ‘I Love You’
They’ll want to know the nitty-gritty details, and questions that start innocently may not end that way.
What they find out can be done in a short amount of time.
Even worse—if your exes were abusive, they can win you over before they do more of the same.
7 Not Revealing Information About Themselves
The less information you give away, the better. All in the name of staying under the radar and appearing like the “nice guy.”
I mean no harm.
I’m not here to argue.
Just ignore me.
No one talks to me.
Not only does this sound rude, it sounds insincere.
It’s not about being shy. It’s about being a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
8 Offer to pay for everything
Okay, we get it. You have money. You carry around an exorbitant amount of money.
Do you want a medal too?
Narcissists are known to flaunt their money. They like to be seen as a provider, someone who can. One day, smart enough to make money.
Money isn’t everything, believe it or not.
If you’re not a narcissist, you’ll already be aware of this.
9 Ignore You
You’re nothing to them when they get a half-dozen new forms of supply.
The narcissist will absorb all of that, and leave you for later.
Later, things turn around, and you’re drained of energy.
10 Being Quiet on Purpose and Then Accusing You of Not Letting Them Talk
This game is for covert narcissists. They will happily sit in on an event and let you talk. They may seem to enjoy your relish in the spotlight.
Related : 8 Secret Thoughts Narcissists Have About Themselves
The minute you walk away?
You must have loved the sound of your voice tonight, right?
Why didn’t you let me talk?
You were so controlling.
This is a red flag that you need to spot because, I assure you, it won’t get any better.
11 Making Plans Without Interfering
We’d love that!
Hey, you promised to go on a hiking trip next weekend!
It’s okay, you told the narcissist you’d be working that day.
Who cares if you’re afraid of heights?
So what if you make other plans?
The narcissist will want to be seen making a list of fun things to do with you, whether you like them or not.
When you say no, you’re the one with the problem, according to them.
12 Decide what you’re going to eat
You’re going to eat the salad.
Water only, please.
No. Don’t put in the fries.
She doesn’t like onions, right?
Have you spoken up?
Can you speak up for yourself?
It’s time to do it, before more red flags appear!
13 Private Snooping in Public
If the narcissist has upset you in private, or if they know what to say to get you, they’ll ideally do it in front of your friends.
No, your friends won’t even notice. But you will. And it’ll confuse you. And you’ll wonder why they’re doing it.
Related : Why Do Narcissists Have Ears When They Never Listen?
That’s the red flag.
When you stop caring about the narcissist, they’ll do it!
As long as you love me, this will only work when the narcissist gets what they want from you. You have to comply, or the dynamics will break down.
The moment – the moment you stop caring about the narcissist, it’s best to hide.
Not only does their reaction create the world’s worst emotional tornado – this tornado is an F5 – and it’s headed straight for you.
So what emotions are being triggered, and what exactly do they mean?
Well, Alex, I’m glad you asked…
