The harsh truth in the world is that not everyone can be trusted. Not everyone will want to be our friend; They might even totally hate us.
They may disagree with our political views. Or you are jealous of our professional and personal accomplishments.
They’ll keep those feelings low, of course, which makes knowing who to trust difficult.
Beneath the fake smiles and sneaky insults there could be someone plotting to see us become miserable.
They may want to see us fail or embarrass ourselves in front of the boss.
They may be secretly plotting something bad for us — in which case, take note of these 12 signs to help you avoid falling into their trap.
1) They’re kinder for no good reason
Have you started to notice that someone has been meeting your needs more than usual?
It’s like they are always there for you, buying you special gifts and serving you their food?
While it is normal for people to show affection for another person, that person may be overdoing it.
This behavior on an almost obsessive level could mean one of two things: either they are really infatuated with you, or they are manipulating you.
When someone seems so cheerful around you, always positive and smiling, it might be best to walk away from them at arm’s length – they may not be sincere about this.
2) Your friends start acting weird around you
After meeting this person, have your friends started acting differently around you? They may have started talking to you less, or even avoiding you altogether.
Perhaps when they talk to you, the sound is colder and monotonous, as if they can’t wait to leave their conversation with you. Or they won’t even look you in the eye.
People who plot against you often don’t try to act alone; They recruit accomplices and influence people close to you.
Perhaps they talked to your friends about you, slandering your name and turning them against you.
3) They gossip about you about others
These people tend to let you in on secrets about other people to form a bond between you. When they share a piece of gossip, they might ask you to swear not to tell anyone else.
What can be overlooked about this is that this type of behavior is probably something they do a lot – which means they might be talking about you, too.
When they ask you not to mention it to anyone, you automatically become their partner, whether you realize it or not.
They have lowered you to their level and will use your willingness to accept such gossip as a way to ruin your reputation in front of your other friends.
- They give backhanded compliments
In playing nice and trying to hide their devious personalities, they tend to drop hints of their feelings for you in their “compliments”.
They might say something like “Wow, I’m so surprised you got the job! Good for you!” Do they mean that you looked helpless and unskilled?
Reading between the lines requires a keen ear.
As soon as you start to notice that their compliments don’t seem to be taken the right way, that’s when you should start to watch out for their otherworldly behavior.
Watch how they compliment others – If the only person they talk to in this way is you, they may not love you as much as you thought.
5) They bring up things you know you haven’t done
One of their favorite lines might be, “You have a bad memory.” This is a way for them to reinforce reality and make you doubt yourself.
You both could remember the trip you took and they could have sworn that you never said anything mean to them, but they still both claim they were offended.
What you can do is pay attention when you two are alone; This means that there is no witness to support what did or did not happen between you.
Your word against theirs. They know this and will charm everyone around you into believing you did something you swore you never did.
6) They are not there when you need them
One sign of friendship is being there for each other, especially when someone is feeling down or in trouble and needs help.
If you consider this person your “friend,” it would be wise to think about the services you have provided them and those they have done for you.
You can look at how many times you’ve been there listening to their rant while they didn’t even bother to hear yours.
They don’t seem to say “thank you”; They simply go about their days as if you didn’t help them. When they do, they may manipulate and use you.
There is no real friendship out there, so it would be wise to build some distance between you.
7) They intentionally intimidate you
When they “joke” and say demeaning things about you and you get hurt, they’ll say you’re just being sensitive.
They may even get mad at you when you call them out on their behavior.
They want to make you feel small with their pointed compliments.
They also want to keep bragging to you about how great their lives are at the moment, only for you to feel bad about yourself.
They want to subtly discourage you from being motivated to succeed because you might outsmart them.
They plan to keep you feeling down, increasing your self-doubt.
8) They act like a different person when you are with others
When they are with you, they can be overly nice or even a little disrespectful towards you.
But when you see them with their other friends, it’s like you’re looking at a completely different person. Suddenly they are happier and laugh a lot more.
And you see them change their personality based on who they’re talking to: their parents, the boss, or their other friends.
This kind of behavior should not go unnoticed.
When someone is not compatible with their personality, it may actually be sending the message that they think of you differently – they either love you or they hate you.
It’s hard to trust an unpredictable person.
While it can be difficult to know how they really feel, it is still important to keep a close eye on them so that you are not too surprised that they have been plotting against you all this time.
9) They tend to feel guilty about you
They want you to feel like you are the victim and that everything is your fault.
When you decline their invitation to go out, they start saying how good friends always support each other, and then ask if you want to be a good friend or a bad friend.
They want to make you feel bad about your behavior and actions just because they don’t like you.
They manipulate you into always thinking something is your fault.
They bring up things like how your family might feel if they had someone so mean. This is the emotional and intellectual bullying you need to protect yourself from.
10) They are passive aggressive
When you ask them what’s wrong, they tend to tell you they’re fine — even if they’re upset about something you said.
They are not upfront with you about their feelings.
One of the reasons they do this is because when it comes time to bring their other friends up, they will tarnish your name and keep blaming you for making them feel bad.
11) They lie by omission
When business instructions come in, they don’t want to tell you everything.
That way, when you go to present the final product to your boss, you’ll be missing out on something—something they had that would easily fix the problem.
It makes them look like a hero and you look like an incompetent employee.
So be careful and always ask another source about something they said – that may be the truth, but it’s not the whole truth.
12) They pretend they don’t know what they’re doing
When you confront them about their behaviour, they will play stupid; They’ll say things like, “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” or “You’re not very clear.” Even if you are as straightforward as possible.
When they plead ignorance, it is a way for them to wash their hands of their behavior and make themselves look like a victim.
In the long run, it would be wise to be the better person in the situation.
The very thing they are looking for in plotting against you is for you to surrender.
Once you get your revenge, you have stooped to their level.
A possible alternative course of action would be to simply confront them while maintaining respect.
If they still aren’t ready to stop, it may help to avoid them as much as possible.
