I’ve always believed that you are the sum of the people you spend your time with. So, if you spend your time with people who don’t have dreams or aspirations, chances are you won’t have any either.
It’s also true that you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.
To be at your best and be more fulfilled in life, here are the types of people you should avoid.
1) Users
Users don’t care about you. They’re primarily interested in what they can gain from you.
This could be your time, money, connections, or resources. In return, they’ll give you little or nothing, leaving you feeling exploited and disappointed.
So how do you recognize users? They’ll constantly ask you for favors, and they’ll try to flatter and seduce you into compliance.
But above all, they’ll only reach out to you when they want something from you and then disappear right after.
They also don’t show a genuine interest in your well-being, struggles, or accomplishments unless it’s relevant to their interests.
2) Backstabbers
Another group of people you should avoid are backstabbers. They pretend to be your friend while secretly undermining you or spreading negative information about you behind your back.
For example, here’s something that happens more often than it should:
Behind your back, a friend starts telling people things about you that aren’t true. Maybe they claim you said or did something that you didn’t.
Whatever the case, this type of behavior can damage your reputation and create awkward situations.
When you discover their betrayal, you end up hurt and betrayed.
Backstabbing often happens at work, too, especially in high places, and it certainly happens a lot in politics.
3) Liars
No one throws the first stone when it comes to lying, right? We all do it.
As a parent, if I want to avoid going to my three-year-old’s birthday party every weekend, I have to make excuses. What are excuses if not lies?
However, there’s a difference between these types of white lies and serious or regular lies.
Dealing with people who can’t be trusted with the truth creates a lack of trust in your relationships.
You’re trying to build a sandcastle on a shaky foundation—no matter how hard you try, it’s bound to collapse.
And when lies become a regular part of a relationship, it’s hard to have open, honest conversations.
You find yourself questioning everything they say, wondering if there’s a hidden agenda or if they’re being honest.
Think about that for a second.
4) Manipulators
You know those people who always seem to get what they want, but you can’t quite figure out how they do it?
Well, they might be manipulators.
They have a bag of tricks to control or manipulate others for their benefit. For example, they make you feel guilty for not doing what they want, or they use your emotions against you, making it hard to resist their demands.
5) Gossipers
Imagine you have a friend, let’s call her Sarah, who is a real gossiper. Sarah always has the latest news on everyone’s life. She loves to share juicy details, whether they’re true or not.
Now, picture this: You tell Sarah something personal. Like, the truth is, she pees in the bathroom.
You share a secret, thinking she’ll keep it to herself.
But the next thing you know, the whole world knows your secret! Sarah has spilled the beans, and she may have exaggerated or distorted the story.
The next thing you know, you’re banned from the gym and everyone is making fun of you.
Gossipers thrive on spreading rumors, secrets, or personal information about others.
But the problem is, once you leave the room, how can you be sure you’re not the subject of their conversation?
6) Energy Vampires
Energy vampires are the worst. They’re incredibly emotionally demanding and often lack independence.
They constantly need your attention, support, and affirmation, draining your emotional energy without offering much in return.
It’s like being in a one-sided relationship where you end up feeling emotionally drained.
I had the “pleasure” of working with someone like this for a few years, and I can tell you personally that it’s not fun, to say the least.
And the worst thing about them? You can’t even run away from them. They have no self-awareness and will follow you wherever you go.
You try to make the second move while someone is talking to you from the other side of the door.
7) The Constant Complainer
Think about that friend or coworker who always has a reason to complain. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sunny day or a rainy day, they’ll find a way to complain about the weather.
When it comes to work, there’s always something wrong, whether it’s your boss, the workload, or the office coffee.
But here’s the thing: when people hate their jobs, they’ll always find something to complain about.
I don’t think it’s unlikely that you’ll turn into a complainer as soon as you walk into work.
It’s hard to stay positive when you’re surrounded by a constant stream of complaints. They can be exhausting to be around, and it can feel like an uphill battle to keep your spirits up.
If you’re someone who constantly complains, just think about your behavior and stop. If you’re surrounded by these people, try to limit your exposure to them.
8) Chronic Drama Seekers
Drama seekers exaggerate or make things up to make their lives more exciting or to get attention.
Their need for constant drama leads to unnecessary conflicts, stress, and chaos, making it difficult to live a peaceful and harmonious life.
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In the family, they may be the ones who frequently stir up tensions during gatherings. This means bringing up old family disputes or causing arguments over trivial matters.
They often portray themselves as victims in various situations, even when they are not. Simply because this victim mentality attracts attention and support from others.
9) Negativity Magnets
These people can find the dark cloud in every ray of hope. Their pessimism can turn even the most positive situations into something negative.
While I can’t blame people for being negative in today’s world, there has to be a measure, don’t you think?
There’s no point in spreading negativity to others all the time. We get it, right? The world is going crazy, but we don’t need to constantly remind ourselves of that fact.
Constant exposure to their negativity is an easy way to get into a pessimistic outlook on life, which is detrimental to your overall happiness.
That’s why you should avoid them as much as possible.
10) Toxic Exes
Many people have been in relationships in the past that weren’t healthy at all. They were filled with arguments, hurtful words, and constant stress.
Maybe their ex was controlling, manipulative, or even abusive. And when they finally break up, they hope to move on and find happiness, right?
But here’s the thing: holding onto the memories and emotional baggage from that toxic relationship can weigh you down like a heavy anchor.
Every time you think about your toxic ex or relationship, you’re adding more weight to your chest.
The scars left by that toxic past lead to constant pain and anxiety, and you can’t fully embrace happiness and move on.
11) Jealous People
You know those friends or acquaintances who can’t hide their envy when something good happens to you?
They may not say it out loud, but you can sense their jealousy when you share your accomplishments or possessions.
When you get a promotion at work, instead of celebrating with you, they make snide comments or subtly downplay your accomplishment.
This can make you feel like you have to downplay your success in front of them, which is not a good feeling.
I mean, why not celebrate something you worked hard for? You earned it!
12) Arrogant People
Arrogant people are quick to dismiss other people’s ideas and opinions in favor of their own.
Their arrogance and unwillingness to consider alternative viewpoints make interactions with them frustrating and unproductive.
I should know—I’m one of them!
It’s not something I’m proud of, but it is what it is. Have I lost friends over it? Hardly.
But I realize that I can be overly so at times and I try to tone it down, don’t I?
Final Thoughts
After all, we can’t avoid everyone who has an annoying personality flaw, can we?
But if you think your friend, colleague, or even a family member is having a harmful influence on you, you should probably try to avoid them as much as possible.
Ultimately, it may be best to cut ties altogether.
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