The narcissist said it, so it must be true, right?
Isn’t it?
I mean, you trust them. You spend so much time with them. Why do they lie? What’s their point? Why would anyone want to hurt another person?
If you’re asking yourself these questions, you’re basing your moral decisions on them.
Narcissists have no morals.
So here are 12 things they want you to believe that are simply not true.
Trust Me…It Can Get Messy
Being involved with a narcissist is like giving yourself permission to feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life.
Related : Body Language Expert Reveals How To Disarm Any Narcissist
You think everything will be fine, you try to ignore the warning signs, but there comes a time when you can’t avoid them anymore.
These aren’t a list of things you should accept; they’re all warning signs.
In fact, if you want to view them all as warning signs, be my guest, because they are.
1 “You’re so boring”
Any narcissist who tells you you’re boring is doing so to make you feel absolutely terrible.
Okay. I said it. And I mean it.
I refuse to hide it and exaggerate it, because it’s not.
There’s nothing exaggerated about lying, and there’s nothing exaggerated about narcissists either.
They’ll tell you you’re boring because you’re content with yourself. You love who you are, and you want to be that person unapologetic ally.
A narcissist doesn’t get that. How can that be? Someone so comfortable in themselves that they’re just living their life? Absolutely not!
But eventually, that view of you as boring becomes the view you live by. And to the narcissist, it’s just another job.
2 “You’re not smart enough for that.”
Are you applying for a new job? Well, you’d better not tell the narcissist, because at the first opportunity, they’ll take it away from you.
Listen, you may be chasing your dreams and living your authentic life, but the narcissist won’t accept that.
They want you to believe you’re not smart, so you constantly live a life that’s less than you’re actually capable of.
Related : How To NOT Attract a Narcissist
Belief in them means giving them what they want, so prove them wrong every chance you get.
3 “You’re the problem”
You’re never the problem, but that’s what many victims believe about themselves, even years after a relationship with a narcissist has ended.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve told people it’s not their fault. Narcissists are hell-bent on behaving in toxic ways, but it wasn’t because of you.
They just want you to think you’re the problem, which distracts them. They don’t want to be blamed, so the best thing you can do is point the finger at you.
4 “You’re the one who needs a restraining order”
Are you really? You didn’t do anything wrong, let alone upset someone to the point where it would be considered harassment.
There’s no legal basis for what a professional can do if you’re not guilty, so why would you believe a narcissist when they tell you that’s what they’ll do?
This is just a way to lure you in and bully you, and if you’re fooled and panicked, you’ll give them exactly what they want.
5 “Nobody likes you”
This is simply not true. I don’t care if you argue with me, I’ll stick to my word and die on that hill.
People like you. People even like you. But you accepted the narcissist’s words as truth, and now you think everyone hates you.
Related : The Narcissist Hates It When You Know This About Them
This is a cruel and insidious way for a narcissist to isolate you and strip you of every ounce of your worth—but only if you believe them.
6 “Your weight is changing and I don’t like it”
Gain weight? Lose weight? Weight is weight. It fluctuates. Life changes. We get sick, or we decide to exercise more.
We lose ourselves in stress sometimes, and life changes. Our bodies can change along with it, but for me, it’s not the end of the world as long as you understand it.
We all have a wide variety of body shapes. So, what’s the problem if you look at someone and the narcissist comments that you look different than you did before, or how they expect you to look?
You know what? If it wasn’t your weight, it would be something else, and I’m pretty sure of that!
7 “You don’t need to work. I cover the expenses.”
If the narcissist convinces you that you don’t need to work, you need to ask yourself why.
What are they trying to prevent? Your independence? Earning money? Improving your skills? Your work and social life? Are they trying to limit your critical thinking so you no longer have opinions?
Forget it. Don’t even believe this is the case. The narcissist may cover expenses, but they’ll tell you so!
8 “You’re spending too much money”
And that’s the reality. You quit your job. And look at what the narcissist does. They scrutinize your bank statements meticulously.
You’re responsible for all of this. Look at how much you spent that day!
Related : This Is What Happens When You Mirror a Narcissist’s Behavior Back At Them
You’ll have bouts of guilt every day if you let them. In reality, you’re not spending much anyway, and you know it. Don’t be programmed to think otherwise.
9 “Your friends and family aren’t good for you”
You know they are, and what a lie it is, but you’d be surprised at how adept the narcissist is at making it look the other way around.
The only way to isolate you is to convince you that no one cares or values you, and that’s the narcissist way.
So what? You take their word for it, don’t you?
You shouldn’t.
10 “No one else will love you”
That’s the cliché.
They definitely will.
Narcissists are the only truly unloving people in the world, and they love nothing more than to project that onto you and make you the person who can’t take it back.
Don’t let them ruin your trust.
11 “You’re useless”
There’s no such thing as useless. In fact, you were getting along well before you met, so why would that change?
Narcissists only say this when they want you to stop believing in yourself, and it happens all the time!
12 “You’re ugly”
You’re not. This is cruel and calculated, and it’s only meant to drive you further and further apart from everyone and everything.
They don’t have the right to define you.
