How can you tell if a man truly respects you and values you?
Talk comes cheap, but the real signs that he values you on a deeper level come through his actions.
Let’s take a look at the psychology behind when a man truly cares about you.
If he does the following things, you can be sure that he sees your true value and is committed to treating you with complete respect and chivalry.
1) He respects your boundaries
First and foremost, he respects you:
This includes being mindful of and respecting your boundaries.
He doesn’t try to pressure you, convince you, or talk you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.
He wants you to feel comfortable, cared for, and appreciated because he truly cares about you and values you as an individual.
2) He respects your time and is present in your life
A man who truly values you will be able to appreciate your independence while also being present in your life.
In other words, he’s a constant presence in your life, but he also knows when to give you your space.
He doesn’t just show up and disappear unexpectedly. He’s there all the time, forming a real bond with you.
As psychotherapist Misha Patel, MSc, notes:
“A guy who’s interested in you won’t disappear for long periods and then reappear without explanation.”
3) He cares about your opinion
Your opinion is something he respects.
Whether he agrees with you or not, he listens to you and wants to know more about what you’re thinking.
He actively listens to what you have to say and wants to know more without being judgmental.
If he doesn’t agree with you, he’ll let you know, but not in a way that tries to embarrass you or force you to change your mind.
4) He’s kind and helpful
Simple things like kindness and helpfulness deserve extra attention.
This doesn’t mean that this guy is submissive or obsequious in any way:
But he loves helping you and will go out of his way to be there for you and help you if he can.
“If you express your need, you can bet he’ll be eager to help,” says psychology writer Shelley Stanford.
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a ride to the bus stop or help moving a new piece of furniture into your apartment.”
5) He Supports Your Life Goals
In addition to being helpful and kind to you, he supports your life goals.
He supports you in pursuing your dreams and offers practical advice on how to get closer to them when he can.
As psychology writer James Sama notes:
“Words are kind, but actions always take precedence. At the beginning of a relationship, watch what a person does more than what they say. Words can be insincere, but actions can’t be.”
If you need a man who listens to you, he’s there for you, too:
Which brings me to my next point…
6) He’s Empathetic to Your Struggle
When you’re going through a tough time, a man who cares about you will be there for you.
He may not have all the advice or even know what to do. But he will be there.
He will empathize with you and do his best to share your pain with you, appreciate the vulnerability you’ve shown, and treat it with genuine care and respect.
As mental health writer Ariane Resnick, CNBC, writes:
“Romantic interaction is often considered the most intimate form of romantic interaction. That’s because, in addition to sharing our bodies with someone, it leads us to partner and share our lives.”
7) He’s Trustworthy and Consistently Honest
There’s no substitute for honesty when it comes to the crucial elements of respect to look out for.
A man who truly respects you won’t just say all the right things or be perfect:
He’ll be honest, including admitting the small times he’s wrong and even the big times.
This consistent honesty makes a big difference and tells you that this man is the real deal in how he values you.
8) He doesn’t assert authority, even in disagreements
When there’s disagreement, how does this man act?
A man who truly respects you and knows your worth will not impose his authority or step into his ego. Even if he is upset about something or upset about something that happened, he will not turn that into an opportunity to pressure you or push you.
He manages his emotions enough to remain respectful of you and not get caught up in his reactions.
9) He gives you your space and independence
When a man truly values you, he doesn’t try to control you.
He gives you your space and independence to live your own life.
While he tells you that he wants you in his life and values and loves the time you spend together, he never counts on it:
He lets you grow and have your own social life, too, without demanding that you conform to his opinions or priorities.
10) He admits his mistakes and tries to make up for them
When a man truly values you, he’s honest even about the messy stuff.
While this is a risk, he’s willing to take it because he knows that a relationship is only worth it if it’s built on true respect.
By the same token, he tries to make up for it when he makes a mistake or does something wrong. It’s not just about saying he’s sorry, it’s about proving it.
“Love is about engaging in self-reflection rather than self-love when you have to dig deep and admit you’re wrong,” says Bernstein.
11) He communicates clearly and consistently
A man who is engaged with you and truly cares about you will communicate clearly and consistently.
He expresses his opinion and his words are filled with honesty.
He’s not interested in smooth-talking or trying to make you like him:
He’s just transparent about your appreciation and wants to be honest with you because he cares about you.
12) He cares for you and encourages you to take care of yourself
When a man truly cares about you and respects your worth, he will encourage you to take care of yourself.
He will also take care of you and make it clear that you are the most important person in his life.
However, he does this without making it personal or making you feel like he depends on you for his well-being or happiness.
He’s not: He just cares about you a lot.
As psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., puts it:
“Does he make spending time with you a priority? Do you feel like you’re the most important person in his life?”
