12 signs your partner looks down on you (and what to do about it)

Every relationship is unique, and not just in the good parts.

When two people join together in one life, not everything is bright and beautiful.

Here are the top signs that your partner thinks they are superior to you and how you can respond effectively and with the utmost self-respect and dignity.

12 Signs Your Partner Looks Down on You (And What to Do About It)

If this happens to you, you have a problem.

Beware of these signs.

1) He Talks Down to You

One of the worst things that can happen in some relationships is talking down to someone.

It’s not limited to romantic relationships, of course.

This happens in family relationships, friendships, work interactions, and many other situations.

This is one of the most annoying signs that your partner looks down on you:

He talks to you like you’re an idiot, a nobody, or just an afterthought.

He has a tone of deep exhaustion in his voice when talking to you, but he regains his normalcy in conversation with others.

There could be many reasons for this, including their bad mood, but when you notice that this is happening a lot and is a trend, don’t dismiss it as something that doesn’t matter.

It does matter.

Whether you like it or not, you’ve been sidelined in this relationship.

Your partner looks down on you, or at least acts like it.

Not good!

2) He’s ignoring you

Another annoying sign that your partner is looking down on you is that he’s ignoring you, sometimes for weeks or even months at a time.

Aside from the occasional “hello,” he’s looking right through you.

You could be ghosting.

Of course, there are reasons why this happens, and constant attention has an unattractive side.

But being completely ignored by someone you love hurts.

If this is happening to you, it’s important to try to reach out to your partner and ask them what’s going on.

Tell them that you feel like you want to communicate and interact more and that you understand that this is a challenge for them right now.

If your partner is too busy or going through a tough time, they will hopefully open up to you.

If they look down on you and find you annoying to interact with, it’s also likely that this will show and the relationship will end negatively.

3) They leave you confused

One of the worst things about a partner who thinks they’re on a different level than you is the sense of confusion it can create.

You wonder why they don’t seem to care about you or want to be with you anyway if they think you’re worthless.

That’s a good question!

While this article explores the key signs that your partner is feeling above you, it may be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, such as falling in love with someone who feels they’re better than you or on a higher level.

They’re a popular resource for people facing these kinds of challenges.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship.

After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, compassionate, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get personalized advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) They Flirt With Others

Another annoying sign that your partner is looking down on you is that they flirt with other people, sometimes right in front of you.

Talk about disrespect!

The least anyone can do if they’re in a relationship with you is respect your time and love by not showing interest in others more than you in public.

This type of flirtatious behavior is often accompanied by comments about the other person’s attractiveness intelligence or charm.

There’s no mention of your charm or charm.

A little light flirting or pointing out that someone else is very attractive never hurt anyone, but it’s a whole other thing to openly try to seduce someone else in front of you.

If they do, you have some real issues to worry about in this relationship.

Whether or not they’re cheating on you is another question worth asking and investigating…

They’re telling you that they find other people more attractive than you and don’t respect you enough to hide it.

This is very disappointing and a sign that your partner considers themselves more valuable than you!

5) They treat you like a backup option

Being treated as an afterthought or a fallback is painful in all areas of life, but especially in romantic relationships.

In the one scenario where you might hope to be higher in importance and priority, you’re instead being told in so many ways that you’re not as important and not as good as your ex.

This is truly painful, and if it’s happening to you, you have every right to feel upset and disappointed about it.

Amanda Chatel wrote some very true things about this over at Bustle.

6) They Make You “Work” for Their Attention

Attention and love don’t come in an endless supply, but if your partner gives you the impression that you have to “earn” their love and respect, then they’re engaging in really toxic behavior.

This isn’t a healthy relationship and it’s not something that will bring out the best in you.

The more you work, the lower your self-esteem will be as you’re constantly competing for your partner’s approval against a host of other factors.

The basic idea is simple:

They’re using your love for them to control you.

Then they set up barriers for you to jump through, which you always turn out to be not good enough to do.

How can you win?

Sometimes just by walking away!

7) They bring out your worst traits

Another sign that your partner looks down on you is that they bring out your worst traits.

When you’re around them, you become somehow toxic or insecure and you’re not sure why.

Here’s why…

Have you ever wondered why love is so hard?

Why isn’t it the way you imagined it to be when you were growing up? Or at least make sense…

We’ve all been there: so confused, so frustrated and so attached to someone but not quite sure if they feel the same way…

When you’re dealing with a partner who makes you feel unworthy, it’s easy to feel frustrated and even helpless. You may be tempted to give up and give up on love.

I’d like to suggest you do something different.

I learned this from world-renowned shaman Rhoda Iande. It taught me that the path to finding love and intimacy is not what our culture has taught us to believe.

Many of us have been sabotaging and deceiving ourselves for years, preventing us from meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.

As Rhoda explains in this amazing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.

We get stuck in terrible relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel terrible about things like feeling inadequate and worthless in the relationship.

We fall in love with an idealized version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.

We try to find someone who “completes us,” only to fall apart next to them and feel twice as bad.

Rhoda’s teachings have given me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles with finding and nurturing love for the first time—and finally offered a real, practical solution to a critical, uncaring partner who sends mixed messages about their interest in us.

If you’re tired of unsatisfying dates, empty relationships, disappointing relationships, and having your hopes crushed over and over again, this is the message you need to hear.

I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.

8) They Use Jealousy as a Tool Against You

Jealousy is a powerful force that can erode even the most vibrant and tender relationships.

At the heart of jealousy is another emotion:

Fear.

Fear of not being good enough…

Fear of being alone…

Fear of being abandoned…

These feelings that we have as children continue to surface and can be very difficult to deal with and live with as adults.

Many adults struggle with patterns imprinted on them without ever realizing how they are slaves to an emotional wound that was never their fault in the first place.

This isn’t psychological bullshit, it’s real and it leaves a really deep mark…

9) They Threaten to Break Up to Get Their Way

Another horrific sign that your partner is looking down on you is that they use leaving you as an open threat.

This is when you don’t do what they say…

When you annoy them…

RELATED:When do ex girlfriends start to miss you? 21 big signs

When you walk away…

Suddenly they’re about to leave you at any moment.

It never happens, but that shoe about to fall off is scaring you.

“You shouldn’t have to go through life shaking every time you say or do something, afraid that your partner will abandon you forever,” Hannah Orenstein and Caroline Twersky write for Seventeen.

“You should feel secure in your relationship and comfortable enough to be yourself with your partner, not constantly being overly cautious.”

10) They Don’t Involve You in Financial Decisions

Financial stress is the reason many couples break up for the primary reason that finances are just too stressful.

The very wealthy still worry about money and the stress associated with it, which is why many very prosperous people hire money managers and people to take care of their finances.

It can be incredibly difficult to manage money and know what to do with it, how to save it properly, and what to spend to achieve your goals.

Apply this to the average couple and you can see a recipe for stress.

What makes it even worse is when one partner doesn’t deign to involve the other in critical financial decisions…

They do this, even in joint accounts or in situations where they don’t have the moral right to do so (even if they do have the legal right).

This is a clear sign that your partner looks down on you if they do.

Failing to involve someone in important financial decisions like major purchases, investments, withdrawals or other matters is a terrible thing and shows a lack of consideration for the other person.

This is the kind of problem that needs to be addressed head-on.

Creating separate accounts won’t always fix the problem, because the issue of disrespect in financial decision-making will continue regardless and cause major problems in the relationship.

11) They’re all takers and no givers

The thing about selfish people is that it’s not black and white. We can all be selfish at times, even the most generous of us.

There are times when putting yourself first is necessary and your partner should respect that.

But the problem comes when there’s a partner who only thinks about their side all the time.

When they have no give and only take…

Then use the love between you as an excuse for why that has to happen…

They need more of your time, love, energy, attention, compromises, etc.

But all you need from them is demanding, unacceptable, weird, etc.

There’s a balance! You don’t want a partner who does everything you say and doesn’t care about themselves.

But at the same time, a partner who doesn’t respect you enough to care about your needs looks down on you in a fundamental way that needs to be corrected and addressed for the relationship to survive.

12) They try to make you break your beliefs

The deepest relationships still have two members present in them: two people with unique life experiences, beliefs, and philosophies.

Two people who come together and share many commonalities and beliefs often find that they have more differences in their perspectives than they realized when they grew up together.

This is normal and can be a source of positive growth and learning between partners.

But it can also lead to one person trying to impose their beliefs on the other over time or break the other’s worldview.

This is a sign of extreme disrespect. It’s one thing to present your beliefs and speak up for them or defend them forcefully; it’s quite another to force them or make the relationship conditional on them.

One of the worst signs that your partner is looking down on you is if they try to force you to change your beliefs or embarrass you for the way you see life, love, and the world.

If they don’t calm down when you explain how much this hurts you, this could be a point of tension that will unfortunately end the relationship.

Is it time to walk away?

We can’t control how someone else feels about us.

This has ruined so many relationships that it’s impossible to count.

The harder you try and push your heart into love, the more it resists falling.

It’s one of life’s sad ironies.

If you’re with a partner who looks down on you and reinforces all your worst doubts, fears, and shortcomings, it’s time to part ways.

Talk to them and try to work through this and bridge the gap.

If your partner isn’t open to this, you need to seriously consider talking to a coach at Relationship Hero.

There may be another way to salvage this connection, but walking away and having a clean break may be your best bet.

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