Toxic relationships take a big part of you.
Let’s be honest:
Some people never recover from the damage they have done.
But some people do.
Are you one of them? Have you started your recovery and started your comeback?
lets take alook…
1) I was completely sad
I ugly cried and shed buckets of tears. You dropped the curtains in your apartment and disappeared for a week.
You’ve been through hell and screamed into every pillow you own.
Now you all screamed. You are ready to live again.
Or at least leave your apartment and walk a short distance to the café and back.
2) You have faced reality
I faced the harsh reality:
Not only have you loved and lost, you have loved and been mistreated, oppressed, or perhaps even physically or sexually assaulted.
You have faced some of the worst that humanity has to offer, and no one “bounces back” from that.
It will take time, and you will have scars. But you don’t give up.
3) Don’t choose yourself
This goes back to the previous point:
You’re sad and badly scarred, but you’re not beating yourself up.
You know that much of what happened was not your fault, and that the toxic relationship that affected you so much would have done the same to anyone.
You are not weak or bad, you are strong because you are still alive.
4) You feel fine sometimes
When you’re used to barely getting through your day, waking up and realizing that you feel almost fine is a huge victory.
The pain of the past in your relationship still weighs heavily on you, but it no longer controls you.
You can take a full breath in and out without feeling like the world is collapsing around you.
5) Your self-esteem revives
Toxic relationships are a wrecking ball for self-esteem but you feel your self-confidence slowly coming back.
You are beginning to realize or reaffirm that your own worth has not diminished because of the terrible experiences you had in your previous relationship.
If anything, your ability to weather such heartbreak and emotional storm proves that you are a warrior.
You feel your worth and begin to interact with others, engage in physical activities and exercises, and get out of your head more.
6) Don’t hold grudges
This is very difficult, because how can you not hold a grudge against someone who has made your life a living hell?
Maybe a toxic relationship brought out your worst sides as well.
How can you not resent someone who helped you get down to this level?
The answer is that you have found a source of new energy within yourself, and you find that even while the pain is still there, you are ready to move on.
You want to focus on the future and improving yourself, and the pain of what happened is no longer your focus.
7) You live your own life
You live your own life, make your own friends and stick to your own boundaries.
You are active and working on your mental and physical health.
Even if you still have bad days where you don’t want to leave your room and sip on a bottle of booze like orange juice, you’re not completely beyond hope.
Your life has a schedule again. You spend full days working. You have at least a few moments when you feel like maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay.
8) Don’t follow your ex
It’s very tempting to keep following your ex on social media and asking mutual friends about him, even when the ex treats you poorly.
Love dies hard. Even toxic love.
But you don’t. You block them and move on (or they block you and you eventually accept it).
You don’t chase them anymore. You’re pushing away that inner critic who’s trying to tell you to go after them.
You’ve drawn boundaries and you won’t cross them again, including with your own attention.
Your time and energy are more valuable than spending looking at the life of someone who treated you poorly and led to one of the worst chapters of your life.
9) You have a busier social life
Your social life has not yet flourished, and you still have a lot of times when you do not want to talk to anyone.
But you’ve been busier than you remember since your breakup.
You’re talking to friends again and sometimes feel ready for social events.
You don’t move around the club or smile and talk to everyone you meet. But you tentatively communicate and open up again.
Maybe this is what healing is like.
10) You understand the roots of what happened
Although the past still hurts you a lot, you understand much more about what happened and why.
You can see how your unprocessed patterns and your partner’s toxic behavior led to the traumatic events that occurred.
Therapy, self-healing, meditation, and inner work have led you to a place of greater understanding.
The pain is still there, but there is also more clarity, and that brings some relief.
11) Your hope in love has returned
You don’t have much hope, but you do have a little.
Even if it seems like love will never happen for you, the idea of love and wishing it on others seems like a possibility.
There’s a small crack of light shining under the door, and you’re willing to let it in, if only for a little.
Love may be painful and always will be, but it can also be beautiful.
You are willing to accept this, even if romantic love seems too painful for you at the moment and you do not see the end of this perception yet.
12) You’re dating again
The proof is in the pudding!
If you’re dating again and don’t think about your ex often, you’re healing from past pain.
Even if the dates you’re going on aren’t great and don’t lead to second dates, you deserve credit for getting out there.
Don’t have high expectations, and don’t date because you’re lonely or desperate.
You are just open to meeting new people even as friends, to putting yourself out there and making new connections that go beyond the pain of the past.
