If you’re anything like me, you hate drama, especially when it happens in your relationship.
If you want to prevent it from happening to you, there are some obvious red flags you should know about.
From attention-seeking to gossiping, worrying, and even sabotaging, drama addicts have some creative outlets you should be aware of.
1) They have a constant need for attention
Let’s start with the obvious. Drama means attention. They get attention and validation from their partner by creating or escalating conflict and drama.
Exaggerating stories or playing the victim are some easy ways to get their partner’s attention and sympathy.
Does this sound familiar?
I know some people who love to embellish details, make up events, or manipulate facts to make their stories more appealing and attention-grabbing.
Some of them adopt the victim role to elicit sympathy and attention from their partners, who feel obligated to comfort and support them.
Unfortunately, many a night out on the town has been ruined by this behavior. They just ruin the experience for the entire group of people they’re with.
2) They Thrive in Chaos
Do you know what drama addicts’ greatest enemy is? Calm, peaceful situations. They can’t stand them.
They feel so uncomfortable that they provoke or incite conflict to maintain a sense of excitement and intensity in their relationship.
Some people thrive on chaos because they believe that intense emotional experiences and conflict validate the strength or importance of their relationship.
They interpret the presence of drama as evidence of a meaningful and emotional connection, even if it ultimately proves unhealthy or unsustainable.
They equate drama with passion.
Others feel a sense of power, dominance, or control over their partner’s emotions, actions, or decisions.
Whatever the underlying cause, chaos is harmful and stressful for both parties.
3) They’re Incredibly Jealous
We’ve come this far without talking about jealousy. I think some healthy doses of jealousy are acceptable in healthy relationships. It can even be a compliment.
On the other hand, excessive jealousy is a total no-no. Drama addicts often show extreme jealousy in their relationships, even in situations where there is no valid reason to be suspicious or insecure.
They also use it as a tool to create drama and maintain control over the relationship.
They love to create drama by accusing their partner of cheating, flirting with others, or not giving them enough attention. All in an attempt to ensure that their partner’s focus remains on them.
I find this type of behavior simply disgusting.
4) They Create Drama Out of Nothing
Creating drama out of nothing is another specialty of drama addicts. They can blow simple things out of proportion or interpret innocent actions or words as deliberate insults or transgressions, which leads to unnecessary drama.
I think they start acting like a typical Karen.
But that’s not all. Drama creators are also serious people. They have an increased sensitivity to criticism.
They interpret neutral or constructive feedback as personal attacks, leading to defensive reactions and escalating minor issues into full-blown conflicts.
I mean, there are countless videos of this happening, and I have to say, it makes my blood boil.
5) They’re on an emotional rollercoaster
The emotional rollercoaster in a relationship is characterized by frequent and intense emotional ups and downs, leading to extreme highs and lows.
There’s no middle ground because this is too easy for drama queens, as I mentioned above.
Several notable relationships come to mind when thinking of an emotional rollercoaster.
These relationships involved a great deal of drama, intense emotional experiences, and, at times, turbulent endings.
Older people will remember that Elizabeth Taylor was married twice to Richard Burton, and their relationship was known for its explosive nature.
Older people will also remember Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. These two rock stars had a wild relationship, marked by drug use and public scandals. We all know how that relationship ended.
There’s also Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil, Rihanna and Chris Brown, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Tina and Ike Turner, and many others like them.
6) They feel uncomfortable or anxious
Drama addicts have a hard time accepting stability and routine in their relationships. Because of this, they constantly seek out change or new sources of excitement, which can contribute to a constant cycle of drama.
They simply feel uncomfortable or anxious when their relationship is calm and stable, which leads them to actively disrupt the peace and create drama to restore a sense of intimacy.
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Fear of boredom, intimacy, vulnerability, and self-sabotaging patterns, as well as a need for control and power, can all be potential underlying factors for creating drama in times of peace.
Of course, the problem runs much deeper than that, and one of the best solutions is to seek professional help or counseling that can provide insights.
7) Gossiping Frequently
When someone repeatedly talks about their relationship problems or involves others in their drama, it has a variety of underlying motivations and consequences.
For example, they seek validation and sympathy from friends and family.
By presenting their side of the story to others, they seek reassurance that they are not solely responsible for the problems in the relationship, which alleviates the need to take personal responsibility.
This behavior can also inadvertently escalate conflicts. By seeking validation or sympathy from others, they often receive advice or encouragement to confront their partner or take actions that further contribute to the drama and exacerbate existing issues.
Not to mention, constantly involving others in relationship drama is a violation of privacy and trust within the relationship.
In addition, sharing intimate details with friends or family members violates the trust and confidentiality expected in the partnership, further damaging the trust and intimacy between partners.
8) They Jump to Conclusions
Don’t you hate it when someone jumps to conclusions? It’s even worse when the person you’re with does it.
A person who is addicted to drama in their relationship often tends to jump to conclusions and assumes that their partner’s actions or behaviors are intentionally hurtful or unfaithful without considering alternative explanations.
They may have heightened suspicion or mistrust, leading them to immediately interpret their partner’s actions in the worst possible light.
In other cases, this behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities. For example, unresolved issues from past relationships or personal experiences have left him feeling vulnerable and doubtful.
Whatever the reason, it needs to be addressed because it is unfair to the other person.
9) They Can’t Set Boundaries
Personal boundaries are incredibly important to our independence, healthy balance, personal growth, and self-care.
Partners who struggle to set boundaries may lack clarity about their needs, values, and boundaries within the relationship.
Not setting and maintaining clear, healthy boundaries can lead to blurred lines, misunderstandings, and increased potential for drama and conflict.
In every relationship that involves mature partners, boundaries will be respected and not crossed.
10) They Feed on Other People’s Drama
People who are addicted to drama in their relationships don’t stop there. They are obsessed with other people’s drama as well.
They consume and obsess over media, books, or movies that revolve around wild and turbulent relationships, and use them to experience the drama and feed their addiction.
This in turn reinforces existing beliefs and perceptions about relationships. They begin to believe that drama and conflict are necessary aspects of love, and consuming media that align with these beliefs only reinforces their drama addiction.
11) They Sabotage Positive Moments
Positive moments and experiences are something we live our lives for. After the rain comes the sun, right?
This may not be the case for people stuck with drama-addicted partners, as they sometimes tend to undermine or sabotage positive experiences or milestones.
Again, there could be many reasons behind this. They may also feel uncomfortable with constant happiness and prefer a drama-filled dynamic, as I mentioned above.
12) They Love Makeup
I have known couples who have broken up and gotten back together multiple times. When I think about them now, I am pretty sure that one or both of the people in those relationships were drama addicted and/or makeup addicted.
Some people become so addicted to the intense emotional experiences that come with getting back together after a fight that they constantly seek the emotional rush of making up instead of working on the underlying issues.
It’s not a good place to be in a relationship, let alone a marriage. There’s no hard and fast rule about how to break this cycle. It will take a lot of reflection, time, and effort.
Final Thoughts
Most of the signs of drama addiction listed above point to a general lack of trust in their partner and the relationship itself.
They struggle with trust issues and may intentionally create drama to test their partner’s loyalty or commitment, reinforcing their negative beliefs about relationships.
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