Someone’s words don’t agree with each other. Your mind becomes foggy; you question your sanity, but most of all – you question reality.
It sounds like the same old familiar story, right? That’s because the narcissist you know knows exactly what they’re doing!
You’re not as helpless as you think, and it’s time to find out for yourself.
It’s time for me to provide you with 12 phrases to stop manipulation, so you can deal with this toxic person in your life like a pro.
Are you ready to let them fumble around searching for the right words to bring you back?
Manipulation?
Manipulation was the buzzword of the year in 2022 – and it’s still going strong in the hearts and minds of people who wake up to abuse.
If your thoughts, feelings, opinions, or beliefs have been crushed like a bug under your shoe – you know emotional manipulation.
It’s the ultimate manipulation technique, and it’s very common with narcissists.
It’s almost pathetic, isn’t it? These people are so predictable.
I have some good news for you…
You can shut them up!
1 “Your reality is yours, and my reality is mine”
What you’re doing here, is giving them a complete idea that there are two acceptable narratives. Who’s to say that what the narcissist is claiming is even close to the truth?
Related : Things Narcissists Say to Justify Their Behavior
Instead of arguing against it, give them exactly what they want – give them this. You know what you believe, and they can think whatever they want.
Drop the mic!
2 “That truth seems hard for you to hear”
Oh! Someone needs to put a bandage on the narcissist’s wounds!
The truth is hard for anyone who refuses to believe anything but what they’re telling themselves.
What you’re doing is telling them this – and I can’t promise they’ll like it…!
It’s about becoming stronger, and transferring some empowerment to the way you handle their games.
3 “These are my boundaries. I ask that you respect them”
Boundaries are a surefire way to scare off any narcissist (not that they’ll admit to being scared!)
You’re not a foot mat, so you don’t deserve to be stepped on.
You’re the main character in your life story—no one has the right to change that.
Less than a narcissist.
Related : 14 Reasons Why You Are a Narcissist Magnet
Refusing to change any boundaries will allow you to maintain them—and maintain control.
4 “I won’t continue a conversation where I don’t feel valued or heard”
Another moment when you can make a decision. Trying to have a conversation between two adults rarely results in a conversation involving narcissists. They love to drag you into the verbal and emotional places where you feel the most upset.
Telling them that you’ll walk away if you’re not valued proves to yourself that you’re worthy.
We need more of this, please!
5 “If you can’t take the blame, I refuse to take the responsibility”
This works both ways, doesn’t it?
Narcissists don’t like it when you mirror their attitude back to them, but…
You’re doing it in a way to defend yourself. Their bad attitude isn’t your responsibility. Don’t let it be handed to you on a selfish platter!
Besides—where narcissists hide—the blame always follows them.
Related : Top 5 Accusations From Narcissists
They can’t help themselves!
6 “I’m not involved anymore”
They can just forget about it! The obsession with wanting to trick you into believing what they want is disgusting, but it only works if you’re involved and giving them exactly what they want. Without your input, they’re just talking to themselves (so fun to watch, you’ll all agree!)
7 “This is a very interesting perspective. ‘I need some time to think about this’”
Telling the narcissist that you need time to think about something?
Keeping them waiting?
Have you lost your senses?!
No, you’re winning them over. This will instantly silence the narcissist. They don’t need your silence, that’s their job, remember?
Be careful here, because you’re not being rude, you’re just pushing them out of your space so they can’t steal it and reframe it as they please.
8 “Can you be more specific here, with more information?”
This is a very effective way to silence a narcissist who’s deceiving you.
Go on? I’m listening. Be more specific for me, please.
Watch the discomfort. Let their stammering, stuttering responses make you smile on the inside. They really won’t know what to do with themselves.
Usually Narcissists love to be asked to talk more, but this is one occasion when it simply isn’t the case.
9 “Okay”
Oh, you went there. You went straight for the gray rock. Good for you!
“Okay” doesn’t reveal anything. It doesn’t feed the narcissist what he wants to hear. It doesn’t allow you to show any emotion. It shuts down the entire manipulation process.
Related : Did You Waste Your Life With a Narcissist?
If you’re using this, I’m very proud of you.
10 “I trust myself”
Exactly! That’s what it’s all about, right?
You’re trusting yourself. Not only are you projecting that onto the narcissist, but you’re also affirming it to yourself in a moment when you’re losing yourself to their manipulation once again.
Ideally, I’d want you all to trust yourself, but if you feel like that’s waned somewhat since you met the narcissist, it’s time to start believing them again.
11 “I know it’s not true”
Of course you know it’s not true. Living with a narcissist is like living a constant lie, and I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll be ripped out of your reality more times than you care to remember.
It’s one thing to know that everything they say isn’t true, but it’s another thing to say it out loud for them to hear. It will shut them up faster than you can blink. #12 “I appreciate that this may be your reality”
Appreciating the fact that the narcissist has a different kind of reality than you does is a way of agreeing to disagree.
The narcissist will only want things to go one way: for you to agree with them. This is not how life works; the sooner they realize this, the better.
You need to show them that you cannot and will not be forced. It is not up for debate or argument.
Related !: 10 Morning Habits That Reveal Someone Is a Narcissist
Standing by your beliefs is how you prevent the narcissist from changing them, and only people who sacrifice their boundaries will begin to see the erosion of their self and identity.
Continue to appreciate their reality, and know that your version is where the truth lies. When you intend to keep these separate, you intend to keep an important part of yourself alive.
