12 phrases narcissists use to belittle and demean others

Do you suspect that someone in your life is a narcissist?

We use this word very loosely when we talk about people who like to look at themselves in the mirror, but this is actually a disorder characterized by grandiosity, entitlement, and a lack of empathy.

Narcissists are always users.

They have very limited thinking about the roles of others. For them, others are people they can admire, people who can help them gain admiration, or people who can be pushed into the mud to be trampled on.

They try to manipulate the way the two primary groups view them so they can get attention and admiration.

At the same time, they feel that they can use and abuse the third group to suit their needs.

So, here are 12 phrases narcissists use to belittle and degrade others that you might be able to identify with.

And if they’re really familiar, you might want to stay away from that person as much as possible!

1) “It’s all your fault!”

Some narcissists are smarter at dealing with people who try to manipulate them, while others don’t back down at all.

This is one of those statements that is straight to the point and has a huge impact.

Of course, a narcissist is never wrong, so whatever the problem is, it must be someone else’s fault.

They may use this phrase to transfer blame for something they did, or they may use it to blame someone else for their state of mind or feelings.

One thing is for sure: they will never take responsibility when there is someone else they can blame.

2) “I am the victim here.”

This is the first of many examples of manipulative phrases that narcissists like to use to manipulate others.

Gaslighting is a type of coercive control that manipulators use to try to deny reality and bring a person under their control.

Phrases like these are one way they can do this.

If you are upset with a narcissist, what will they do?

Certainly don’t accept the blame!

Instead, they will try to turn the tables so that you look bad, and end up playing the victim.

It’s Machiavellian, it’s genius, and it’s also very insulting.

3) “You’re too insecure.”

People who can express their emotions in a healthy way are still targets for narcissists to belittle and belittle them.

They like to flip the script to make others look bad, and make themselves look good by comparison.

So, if you decide to talk to a narcissist about an issue, like, “I don’t like it when you talk about me behind my back,” he’s not going to sit back and get criticized.

Oh no.

They will attack you and attack you with these kind of statements, saying that you are insecure.

It shifts the negative focus directly to you and away from them, which is a perfect example of manipulation.

4) “They are jealous.”

Again, the narcissist uses deflection to avoid criticism.

Imagine you are this person’s boss, and you have to tell him, “We have received some complaints about your behavior from other employees.”

This is very likely the kind of thing they will answer.

Instead of being open and listening to criticism, they will be dismissive and insulting.

Since they cannot accept that their behavior has any faults, so must others. It makes sense that they would be jealous because the narcissist is amazing, right?

5) “You’re overreacting.”

Telling someone that their emotional response is disproportionate to the problem when it isn’t at all is like Gaslighting 101.

You are essentially denying their reality and trying to replace it with confusion or self-doubt.

This way, you can take the wind out of their sails and unload any criticism that comes your way.

genius?

If you’re trying to get a gold star at manipulation, always tell others that the negative emotions they’re feeling are misplaced or out of proportion.

6) “You will never find someone who treats you like I do.”

This statement is really interesting, and there’s a lot to unpack here.

When does a narcissist use it?

Perhaps in the context of the relationship with their partner, they are trying to control.

Narcissists are classic users, and unfortunately, they attract codependents like moths to a flame.

Because the codependent person needs to feel useful, the narcissist can provide that in small doses.

But those doses are interspersed with belittling comments and treatment that helps keep their self-confidence low and the risk of abandonment minimal.

No matter how badly a narcissist treats their victim, they turn it around and essentially tell the victim that this is better than they deserve, so they shouldn’t complain.

7) “You’re selfish.”

I had to laugh even while writing this article, because narcissists are, by definition, the most selfish people.

This is another great technique they use to manipulate others. We see them turning things around to blame the victim.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and you say you don’t feel like he respects you or spends enough time with you, this is the kind of response you’ll get.

After all, they’re perfect, right?

I remember my friend’s ex-wife would tell him this exact thing when he asked her to spend less. He was working hard 14 hours a day outside, and she was at home with a nice house, flashy cars, and no job.

She felt she deserved all this luxury and never thought about how to provide it. But when he asked her to spend less, he was the one being selfish!

8) “Don’t be stupid.”

That’s quite an insulting statement, isn’t it?

It’s also a method that narcissists like to use with their partners and buddies (I won’t call them friends because narcissists don’t really have friends).

I mean, we all probably say this from time to time, and often in a light-hearted or joking way.

But for narcissists, this is a common weapon in their war for attention.

They always have to be the best, the most beautiful, and of course the smartest.

By questioning the intelligence of others, they believe they appear intelligent by comparison.

Unfortunately, this often works because low self-esteem is a compulsive thing for people to keep around themselves.

9) “That’s not what happened.”

Gas lighting again.

What this phrase means is: “Are you remembering things in a way that makes me look bad? You must be wrong.”

Narcissists are idealistic (in their minds), so when anyone says something that makes them seem different, they have to attack that reality and replace it with their own reality.

So, they will gladly rewrite history to erase their flaws. If you remember things otherwise, be prepared to face their wrath!

10) “You have trust issues.”

The narcissist wants to be admired, and this includes trust and respect.

But look at their patterns.

Emotional manipulation. Mind manipulation. Rewriting history.

There’s not much going on here to build trust.

If you ever talk to a narcissist about how they create their own reality, you will be attacked.

You’re the one with the problem, not them, of course.

11) “I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

This classic phrase used by politicians is never an admission of guilt.

Instead, it’s a very smart way to do many things at once.

First, it sounds like an apology because it starts with “I’m sorry,” but it definitely isn’t.

Second, he blames the victim again, but this time for his own negative feelings.

Third, it puts the other person in the spotlight with a deceptive “if” that calls into question the other person’s understanding of the entire situation.

Although it is not explicitly followed by “but you’re wrong,” this is the primary message the narcissist is sending here.

12) “No one will tolerate you.”

This phrase actually sends shivers down my spine because of how incredibly manipulative it is.

Again, this is the kind of statement a narcissist might say to their partner, to their partner, or even (almost unbelievably) to one of their children.

While we know that narcissists are users, they also manipulate the people around them to ensure their survival.

After all, the user needs victims to trample and abuse.

This phrase is extremely insulting and, at the same time, cleverly paints the narcissist in a positive light. No matter how badly they treat the victim, this statement makes it seem like it’s that person’s fault, and like they should be happy that the narcissist still cares about them.

Well, they don’t. This is manipulation, pure and simple.

Conclusion

These 12 phrases that narcissists use to belittle and degrade others are often great at fooling and deceiving them.

If you encounter them frequently, it is very likely that you are dealing with a user and someone you should stay away from as soon as possible.