As the ancient Greek story goes, Narcissus was a man so handsome that he fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water and was never able to move from that place again.
However, in the modern concept of the narcissist, this kind of self-admiration is not enough.
Narcissists have the right to feel special. They require excessive admiration from others and love it when others are jealous of them.
They live to be the center of attention.
Do you know anyone who you suspect is a true narcissist?
If so, here are 12 phrases narcissistic people use to attract attention to themselves and to help you decide whether or not you are right.
If you are, beware because narcissists lack empathy and will not hesitate to exploit you for their own gain.
1) “Look at me!”
A narcissist would have no problem saying this phrase or something like it.
But this is not the innocent and triumphant “Look, Mama, no hand!” A child succeeds at something for the first time.
This is the narcissist who directly and clearly orders everyone to give them attention.
Trust me, most normal people would be completely embarrassed to say something so direct and blatantly needy.
2) “I look great!”
When was the last time you said that out loud?
Most of us are too worried about being perceived as boastful to make these kinds of bold statements, but we’re not narcissists.
Sure, you can see how someone could say this to themselves to boost their self-confidence and get rid of self-doubt.
But that’s very different from announcing something like this publicly.
This is a clear example of the attention seeking behavior that narcissists are known for.
3) “That’s what I said!”
Oh yeah, I definitely meant that emphasis on “I”.
Sometimes, we are surprised when someone reveals a similar thought or opinion, and we might say something like this. But we also back it up with something that helps us connect with the other person, such as,
“Great minds think alike, don’t they?”
But the narcissist uses this type of statement to redirect the other person’s attention back to themselves.
They will quickly come up with their own version of events to help them steal the spotlight.
4) “This reminds me of…”
You’re probably thinking, “Hey, I say that all the time!”
I know I do this because when people tell stories, it usually triggers memories of similar experiences of mine, and I love sharing them to help connect with the other person.
Is this the case with a narcissist?
Not even close.
Narcissists can be very intelligent and manipulative. They know this is a common phrase used in conversations, but they twist things to attract attention to themselves.
They will say this and then talk about something that is either loosely related or not at all related to what the other person was talking about.
They don’t care. They just want to be the center of attention at all times.
5) “I’m the best…”
If this sounds familiar, it might be because a certain politician always claims to be number one at everything.
I’m not saying who the narcissist is, but…!
These people will have no problem making claims that enhance their own value, especially if those claims cannot be accurately measured or compared.
The truth is not important here.
The narcissist just wants to improve his image so that more people will like him, so they will lie or exaggerate without hesitation to achieve this.
6) “I know what I’m talking about.”
I know a man, Tom, who is either a narcissist, a compulsive liar, or both.
When I meet him, he always joins conversations with other people by indulging in claims that he knows the subject well and has a lot of experience in the field.
what is the subject?
That’s the point – it doesn’t matter.
He always claims to be an expert and likes to say: Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
But I noticed he was doing something else first.
He listens to conversations and then only jumps into conversations where people are talking about a topic that none of them know much about. This gives him an opportunity to intervene and attract attention by assuming the role of the most knowledgeable person in the group.
But he won’t join a conversation about the exact same thing when people seem to know what they’re talking about.
This strategic expertise is just a tool to attract attention and help inflate his ego.
7) “I won’t be caught dead…”
You might think so to yourself, but most of us don’t say this phrase out loud.
However, the narcissist will have no problem saying it out loud so everyone can hear.
It could be: “I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this outfit!” or “I’d die if I were seen in this lame club.”
These statements help the narcissist do one of two things.
First, they have to criticize someone else. In their minds, belittling this other person makes them look better by comparison.
Secondly, this bold statement attracts everyone’s attention.
Of course, most of us would cock our heads to look at the person who would dare to be so cruel.
But for narcissists, as for many Hollywood stars (just saying!), any press is good press. They will take any attention they can get and assume it’s all based on likes.
8) “This is the worst…!”
Narcissists live in their own fantasy worlds where they are the big, shining sun around which everyone revolves.
Because they are immersed in this fantasy, they cannot accurately evaluate the world around them.
So they’ll go ahead and say wildly exaggerated things like: “This is the worst meal I’ve ever had!” Or “I’ve been waiting a long time. No one has ever been treated worse!”
famine? bondage? Genocide?
It doesn’t matter.
Narcissistic people are unable to put their experiences into proper perspective and judge them according to reality.
So they will jump to extreme statements that are actually quite ridiculous when they hear them.
9) “I’ve never been treated like this before!”
Oh, don’t these narcissists love to play the victim?
This is a big part of the manipulative games they play to keep people close to them.
They blame others and always portray themselves as the hurt and oppressed.
So imagine a narcissist complaining in a restaurant.
Their complaints are likely to be unfounded anyway, and then employees or managers should try to find a way to make them happy. Instead, the more attention you give the narcissist, the more powerful he or she will feel.
So they will be more than happy to exaggerate the drama and suggest that they were hurt out of proportion to the situation.
Then people will rush out to play damage control and basically do their bidding.
10) “I knew this would happen.”
What did they know?
They’ve never said anything before, but once something goes wrong, they’re happy to deflect blame.
Saying they know something bad is going to happen doesn’t make any difference if they don’t provide any warning to try to stop it.
But in their minds, it still matters one way or another.
This is how they internally distance themselves from any negative consequences while at the same time making an external declaration that they are irresponsible.
This is all very deceptive and manipulative, but would you expect anything less from a narcissist?
11) “We…”
Okay, okay, that’s not a phrase. It’s just one word.
But narcissists will use this to their advantage whenever they can draw attention to themselves.
They will say,
“We’ll meet at this restaurant tonight.”
“We thought the movie was stupid.”
“We’ll let you come with us.”
Why the sudden shift from “I” to “we”?
Like everything else a narcissist does, this is a power play.
When they speak on behalf of other people, they control power in the group. They have to prove that they are the ones calling the shots and making the decisions.
So, while it’s “we” coming out of their mouths, it’s “I” in their heads.
12) “This is stupid.”
This may be a comment we all make from time to time, but a narcissist will use this phrase often and certainly out loud in public.
This is because it does a lot of things for them.
It’s a bold statement that draws attention to them. It’s an opportunity to belittle another person to make them look better.
It is a way to control others by crushing their ideas and rejecting their opinions. He says to others: “I am responsible, and I say what is permissible and what is not permissible.
It’s basically the narcissist’s dream come true.
These 12 phrases that narcissistic people use to draw attention to themselves all sound tame and normal.
But when you take them together, it paints a clear picture of people who need to distract, invalidate, dazzle, and humiliate others in order to serve their constant need for attention.
