“You are unreasonable, overly sensitive, forgetful, and prone to irrational thoughts and overreactions.”

If any of these statements sound familiar, you may be a victim of psychological manipulation.

Psychological manipulation is a manipulative technique often used by narcissists and psychopaths. It is designed to make you question your reality and your sanity and wholeheartedly buy into their version of events.

Psychological manipulation causes the victim to question everything, providing constant self-doubt and uncertainty to the point where they begin to experience anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

The problem with psychological manipulation is that it is designed to confuse you, so it can be difficult to spot, especially when used consistently.

I’ve come up with the following examples of narcissistic psychological manipulation to show you what to look out for and help you identify this manipulative tactic when it’s being used against you.

How to Tell if a Narcissist Is Cheating on You

You can tell if a narcissist is cheating on you by their behavior and your own. For example, if you’re experiencing any of the following issues, it could be because you’re being manipulated:

Do you have difficulty making decisions, even simple ones, like what to eat for breakfast?
Do you find yourself constantly making excuses for the narcissist’s behavior?
Do you find yourself questioning yourself and your memories?
Do you blame yourself for your partner’s narcissistic behavior?
Do you try to convince yourself that the narcissist’s behavior isn’t that bad and that you’re simply overreacting?
Do you think you’re overly sensitive and reacting strongly to things?
Do you doubt your memory and mind?
Do you feel alone and trapped?
Do you constantly question your feelings and observations?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you may be a victim of psychological manipulation. If you suspect this is the case, take a look at the following behaviors and see if they raise any concerns:

Does the narcissist in your life refuse to acknowledge or deny something even when you present them with evidence?

Does someone you know insist that an event never happened, even though you witnessed it?

Does your narcissistic partner change the subject when you confront them about a lie?

Does someone you love blame you for everything that goes wrong, insisting that if you hadn’t acted the way you do, none of this would have happened?

Does your narcissistic partner say one thing and then do something completely different?

12 Examples of Narcissistic Psychological Manipulation

Narcissists use psychological manipulation to manipulate and control others. Here, I want to explore some examples of narcissistic psychological manipulation to give you a clearer idea of ​​what it looks like and how it works.

1 “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

This is a classic example of a narcissist minimizing the feelings and experiences of another person. They use this tactic to downplay the victim’s feelings or concerns, causing them to question their own reactions and judgment.

Related : 5 Ways to Make a Narcissist Feel Bad for Hurting You

For example, you complain to your partner that they expect you to do everything around the house, even though you both work full-time.

When you confront them about this, they respond by saying, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing. My mom and sister seem to be doing just fine.”

With this response, the narcissist dismisses your concerns by insinuating that your feelings are exaggerated or unjustified. They make you question your own feelings and the validity of your complaints.

By downplaying the victim’s feelings, emotional manipulation invalidates their emotions and shifts the power dynamic in the emotional manipulator’s favor.

You may begin to doubt yourself, feel guilty for speaking up, and even avoid addressing similar issues in the future, perpetuating the emotional manipulator’s control over the relationship.

2 “I’m just worried about you. You’re so sensitive that it’s starting to affect our relationship.”

This form of emotional manipulation causes the victim to question their emotional responses and overall mental state. Comments like these invalidate your feelings, making you feel like you’ve overreacted to the situation.

By shifting the focus away from themselves and onto your perceived sensitivity, the narcissist shifts responsibility for their behavior and blames you for the problem.

Over time, this behavior can make you reluctant to express your feelings, fearing that your sensitivity will continue to be a source of conflict in the relationship.

3 “You’re imagining things. These doubts need to stop.”

Narcissists use this type of manipulation to make you doubt your perceptions, experiences, and sanity. They try to control your reality by making you question your version of events.

By calling your fears “doubts” and suggesting that you’re imagining things, the narcissist dismisses the validity of your feelings and minimizes your experience and emotions, causing you to question your response.

They also shift the blame onto you, protecting the narcissist’s image and allowing them to avoid responsibility. They give them control of the narrative, isolating you and making it harder for you to speak up in the future.

4 “You’re the one who’s always trying to control everything.”

In this example of manipulation, the narcissist projects their desire to control you, making you doubt yourself and your motives.

By accusing you of trying to control everything, the narcissist projects their behavior onto you, trying to make you feel guilty about something they do. This approach also allows the narcissist to play the victim and paint you as the abuser.

Related : 13 Signs the Narcissist Is Preparing to Discard You

You may find yourself questioning whether your concerns are valid or if you are actually being too controlling.

5 “I don’t remember saying that. You must have misunderstood.”

I had an employer who used to trick me in this way and then ridicule me for completing the tasks she specifically asked me to prioritize.

Her behavior not only made me doubt my memory, but it also made me feel less competent in my role.

She used this tactic consistently to undermine my confidence, deflect responsibility, and avoid taking responsibility for her words or actions.

I would often question my recollection of the conversation and apologize for misunderstandings, even though I knew I had followed her instructions exactly.

The more she manipulates my reality, the more I lose confidence and doubt my abilities.

This type of manipulation can also happen in relationships, especially when the narcissist accuses you of misinterpreting their intentions or distorting your perception of events.

6 “I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t provoked me.”

Narcissists use this tactic to manipulate the victim into feeling responsible for the narcissist’s negative actions or feelings.

Imagine that you are arguing with your narcissistic partner about whose turn it is to do the chores, and the argument escalates to the point where your partner begins to become verbally aggressive.

Instead of admitting their mistake, they shift the blame onto you, saying, “I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t provoked me.”

This tactic allows the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and emotions and makes them seem less hurtful than you intended.

This approach can create doubt in your mind, and even make you feel guilty for pushing the narcissist to this point.

You may begin to question whether your concerns about your partner’s behavior are valid or whether you are actually responsible for their outburst.

Over time, repeated instances of blame can erode your self-confidence and enable your partner to maintain control over the narrative of their relationship.

7 “I didn’t tell you because I thought you couldn’t handle it.”

This form of manipulation involves withholding information and manipulating the victim’s perception of their abilities and emotions.

Narcissists use this to undermine the victim’s confidence and create a sense of dependency.

Imagine that you have received a final notice from your utility company stating that your electric bill is overdue and about to be shut off.

However, when you bring up the subject with your partner, they respond with the classic manipulation tactic: “Yes, I knew that, but I didn’t tell you because I thought you couldn’t handle it.”

By intentionally withholding information, the narcissist places themselves in a position of control and power. Their comments signal that they believe you are less capable than they are, and they promote themselves as superior.

The narcissist also makes you dependent on them because they control the information and can make informed decisions that are beyond your current understanding.

Ultimately, manipulation through withholding information can create a power imbalance in the relationship or situation.

Related : 8 unique habits of a low-quality man, according to psychology

Victims may feel dependent on the approval or direction of the person manipulating them, leading to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and decreased confidence in their decision-making abilities.

8 “Let’s not talk about me. Let’s focus on your problems.”

Narcissists use this manipulation tactic to avoid accountability, minimize the victim’s fears, and create a false sense of imbalance in the relationship.

Imagine you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, and you tell your partner that they’ve been distant lately, leaving you feeling lonely and neglected.

They respond by saying, “Let’s not talk about me. Let’s focus on your problems.”

This is an immediate twist. The narcissist, who always wants to talk about themselves, is manipulating you to avoid addressing your concerns and taking responsibility for their actions.

They also imply that your feelings or comments are unimportant or exaggerated, suggesting that these are just “problems” rather than legitimate points of contention.

The narcissist’s comment also suggests that your feelings are the root cause of the problems, eroding your confidence in your own perceptions.

Manipulators often seek to establish or maintain a power imbalance in the relationship, and this approach enables them to suggest that your problems are more important, and position themselves as the more stable or rational party.

9 “I don’t remember doing that to you before.”

Imagine you have a narcissistic sibling and you confront them about a traumatic incident from your childhood.

You remember how they used to make fun of you in front of your friends, causing you emotional distress, but the only response you get is, “I don’t remember doing that to you before.”

By claiming not to remember the hurtful actions, the narcissistic sibling is trying to cast doubt on the accuracy of your memory, making you wonder if you were at fault for the incident.

The narcissist is also able to avoid responsibility for the harm caused by denying any knowledge of the event, thus avoiding the need to apologize or make amends.

By making you doubt yourself, the narcissist asserts control over the narrative and minimizes the significance of the incident, protecting their precious self-image and preventing any admission of wrongdoing.

10 “You’re just being so critical of me. You’re lucky to have me.”

Your partner has become increasingly distant, constantly texting on their phone and making secret plans. You muster up the courage to say something and ask them if anything is going on.

He responds by saying, “Come on. You’re just being overly critical. You’re lucky I’m your partner.”

By responding in this way, the narcissist dismisses your concerns by calling them “overly critical.” He minimizes your suspicions and tries to make you question the validity of your feelings.

Such a response also asserts their control and superiority in the relationship. By making you feel lucky to have them, they’re trying to manipulate you into overlooking their questionable behavior.

This manipulation tactic makes you question your intuition and judgment and may even make you wonder if your suspicions are justified.

11 “You’re crazy.”

This is the ultimate manipulation statement, and narcissists use it to invalidate your feelings and make you question your state of mind.

For example, you notice your partner flirting with other women and you feel uncomfortable about his behavior, but when you confront him about it, he responds by saying, “You’re crazy. I can’t believe you’re thinking that. I’m just friendly and open with everyone.”

Not only does this response invalidate your feelings, it undermines your credibility and makes you doubt your own perceptions.

It enables the narcissist to shift the blame onto you and away from themselves, making them seem blameless.

12 “You’re just projecting your insecurities onto me.”

In this manipulation scenario, the narcissist turns the tables on their partner, accusing them of having trust issues and insecurities that are undermining their relationship.

Let’s say you challenge your partner about their behavior, saying they’ve been distant and secretive. They respond by saying, “I’ve tried to be patient with you and work on your trust issues, but you keep projecting your insecurities onto me.”

In this scenario, the narcissist uses emotional manipulation to manipulate your perception, shifting attention away from their behavior and redirecting blame back to you.

By saying you have trust issues, they’re insinuating that the problem lies with you, not them, causing you to question yourself and your commitment to the relationship.

Emotional manipulation thrives on creating confusion and doubt. This response is designed to confuse you and make you question whether your fears are valid, leaving you unsure and vulnerable.

Recognizing emotional manipulation tactics is vital to maintaining open, healthy communication in relationships and minimizing the potential damage of such emotional manipulation.