Sometimes when you read texts from a narcissist, you feel like you’re reading a foreign language!

These texts often don’t make sense or make sense, and it’s easy to lose yourself trying to figure out what they mean.

However, learning to decode their texting habits can help you feel more prepared.

Let’s dive into some examples of narcissistic text messages and the best ways to respond to them.

NarcissisticTextingHabits

Manipulation. Ignoring. Constant bombardment. Weird emojis and weird pictures. Does this sound like a familiar pattern to you?

When a narcissist texts you, do you feel like you’re just playing games and participating in a weird form of alternate reality? You’re right, you’re not imagining things!

As you’ve probably realized, texting with a narcissist is very different from texting with other people.

You may feel anxious, frustrated, or annoyed whenever you see that you have a new message from them. You may also feel tempted to block them from time to time.

That’s because a narcissist’s texting style tends to be very manipulative and artificial. Narcissists often carefully craft their words, using this form of communication to give themselves a temporary ego boost.

Talking to a narcissist is already difficult. But texting creates another layer of complexity.

Because they have time to think about how they want to respond, narcissistic texting habits tend to make others feel cheated.

You may start to question your own reality or sanity — you may wonder if you’re the only one who finds talking to them so difficult.

Additionally, text messages from a narcissist are often incoherent, confusing, and overly emotional.

Of course, you want their approval, but you may also feel anxious waiting for their response.

When you fall for a narcissistic texting game, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

We’ll cover some specific examples below.

11 Narcissistic Texting Examples

As you know, texting from a narcissist is very different from regular texting. For example, their communication style may not follow any logic or pattern.

Texts may come at odd hours or without warning. Narcissists like to jump from one topic to another, thinking only of their needs.

While every narcissist is different, you’ll notice some common behavioral patterns. In general, narcissists text to:

Reaffirm their love and appreciation for you (which is common during the love bombing phase).

Manipulate your reality.

Get their attention back to you when they feel distant.

Guilt them into doing something for them.

Reaffirm that you’re still loyal to the relationship.

This section will explore some common examples of narcissistic text manipulation. These texts are designed to make you question yourself and your reality. They also inevitably keep you hooked on the drama of the narcissistic relationship.

We’ll also discuss some common manipulative strategies in narcissistic texting. Manipulation is a common narcissistic tactic designed to lure people into their world despite your most earnest attempts to set boundaries or leave altogether.

1 Full-Bombing Texts

Maybe you were just in a meeting for an hour. When you check your phone after the meeting, you discover that you have over 10 unread text messages from the narcissist.

In more extreme cases, you’ll also find multiple missed phone calls and voicemails.

This isn’t a one-time thing or an indication of an actual emergency. Full-blown bombardment comes when the narcissist is desperate for attention. They tend to feel desperate when they know you’re the most uncaring.

This pattern is a major sign that they’re feeling deprived of their narcissistic supply. They want your attention and affirmation to regain a sense of control in their life. And they’re likely to keep pestering you until they get it.

You can expect to feel bombarded when:

You’re busy (and the narcissist is upset about why you’re busy at that moment).

The narcissist feels anxious or threatened about your relationship.

You’re in a fight, and the narcissist wants to solve the problem quickly.

The narcissist wants to sabotage whatever you’re currently doing.

The purpose of this overindulgence is to send a powerful message that screams, “Watch me! I won’t stop until you do!”

It’s like how little kids throw tantrums until their parent finally gives them what they want. The more you give in (by responding), the more attention they get.

2 Intense declarations of love

We all love to feel special, but narcissists use love bombing as a weapon to make their partners feel like they’re the most important person in the world.

At first glance, this may seem harmless. It can also seem enticing and exciting, especially when you’re in the initial whirlwind of love.

But think about how you often feel when you receive these texts. Do they seem a little inauthentic? Dramatic or over-the-top? Embarrassing? And how would you feel if someone else read them?

These feelings indicate a sinister intent. In a genuine, loving relationship, partners acknowledge and compliment each other. This isn’t over-the-top, but it’s enough to make both parties feel appreciated.

However, narcissists often rely on empty words to manipulate another person’s emotional state.

They don’t necessarily mean what they say, but they say it to make you feel a certain way. And what quicker and easier way to do that than with a quick text message?

3 Dramatic, Vague Texting

If you feel like these text messages are triggering anxiety, keep in mind that they are intentional. Narcissists love to use escalating emotional language when texting with others. It’s a way for them to draw you into their drama and keep you responding to them.

You may notice that they often send these texts moments after a breakup (like after an argument or after you’ve spent some time apart).

This is because they want to make you feel guilty and hope that you’ll try to rescue them from their current state of insecurity.

After all, even negative attention is still attention when it comes to narcissists. As such, they’ll do whatever it takes to get the attention back where they want it: for themselves.

4 Direct, Demanding Texting

These messages may come out of nowhere. They may also arrive when the narcissist knows you’re busy and can’t agree to their request.

When this is the case, they’re likely to punish you by complaining about your lack of attention to their needs later. It’s a lose-lose situation by nature.

5 Word Salad

When you read the above message, how do you feel? Do you feel confused? Do you feel uncertain? Do you feel uncomfortable? That’s because narcissists love to use a lot of half-assed apologies and manipulative communication to overwhelm people with their seemingly “thoughtful” messages.

Word salad is a psychological term that describes disorganized and inconclusive speech or writing. It’s common in dementia or psychotic disorders like schizophrenia.

But narcissists also use a more refined version of word salad to send mixed messages to their loved ones. You can usually tell if you’re receiving this type of text message if:

The message feels irrelevant and inconsequential.

The message is completely non-urgent.

The content feels repetitive (like you’ve heard it a thousand times).

It seems vague or overly general.

You feel attacked or blamed (but you’re not entirely sure why).

There’s an underlying sense of anger or competition.

6 Faking a Crisis

I’m in the hospital right now. I just thought you should know.

I know we’re not on good terms, but I really need support about something.

I really need to talk to you about something serious that happened.

It’s no secret that compassionate, empathetic people end up in troubled relationships with narcissists. Narcissists are predators, after all, and they often spot generosity.

Unfortunately, they’ll use your kindness to take advantage of you. Faking a crisis is a common tactic for dealing with others, and it can trigger your own sensitive feelings.

If you’re taking a break or ending your relationship with them, you can expect to receive these messages.

Keep in mind that a crisis can be anything. It might start with a more innocent request like:

Hi, I know we’re no longer together. But I don’t have anyone else right now. My landlord is threatening to evict me in a few days if I can’t pay my rent. It’s really stressful. I’m not looking for money or anything, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

You’ll probably feel like responding. In some cases, the crises will be completely justified. But most of the time, the narcissist is just creating or exaggerating drama to get your attention.

7 Juicy Tidbits

I can’t wait to see you later! I have so much to tell you! XO

I’m so excited to see you later – you’ll be surprised!

I just had a conversation with my boss. Oh my! You won’t believe what happened.

Narcissists are the only people who use interesting information when texting. It’s a fairly common way to connect with people. However, narcissists often rely on this strategy as a way to keep a dying conversation going.

Related : How to Make a Narcissist Miss You & Regret Losing You?

For example, a typical conversation might go something like this:

You: You have a busy work day. Talk to me later.

Narcissist: Okay, love you

Narcissist: Oh my gosh, I just got a weird phone call

Narcissist: Sorry, that’s really on my mind. We can talk about it later

At first glance, it might seem like the narcissist is really replaying a certain event.

But they’re actually manipulating the situation to get your time and energy. Even if they act like they don’t care if you respond, you can definitely assume they’re betting that you will!

8 Midnight Drama

Hey, are you awake?

Did you get that text before you fell asleep? It’s tough, isn’t it!

But you’re probably feeling pressured to respond. After all, the question seems innocent (but interesting enough) that you probably want to hear what they have to say.

Unfortunately, narcissists love to play games with others. So even if nothing happens, they want to know that you’re going to give them the attention they want.

Every time you respond to one of these “innocent” late-night questions, you’re reinforcing your narcissistic texting games.

9 Controversial Links/Images

Since narcissists often enjoy stirring up trouble, they have no problem sending you weird links, websites, images, or attachments just to see how you respond.

It’s important to remember that they may not care at all about the content itself—they’re just interested in your reactions.

For example, if they know you’re passionate about animal welfare, they might send you a video of a pet owner abusing their dog. Or, if they know you hate a particular celebrity, they might send you an article about their upcoming movie.

It may seem strange that someone would intentionally want to upset you. But keep in mind that the goal isn’t to upset you.

The goal is simply to keep the conversation going and to feel like they have power over you.

10 Random Ignoring Patterns

One minute, you’re texting back and forth and engaging in a conversation. The next, it’s silence. This silence may last for hours, days, or even weeks.

This pattern of ignoring may seem random, but it is completely intentional. The narcissist just wants to make you feel anxious.

They may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed because they are putting more effort into the relationship than they would like. They may want to test your loyalty to make sure you still care about them.

The narcissist wants you to express their concern for them. They want to hear you say, “Is everything okay?” or “Did I do something wrong?” “I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

Most often, they’ll text you back with generic texts like, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I just got caught up in some stuff,” or “Nothing’s wrong. Sorry. What’s wrong with you?”

Related : How To Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back?

Sometimes, they’ll respond with vague, dramatic texts like, “I’m just thinking about stuff,” or “I’m not okay, but I’ll be okay.”

Of course, they know that this response is likely to make you feel even more anxious and uncertain. They hope that these feelings will prompt you to keep checking in with them.

11 “Sorry, wrong person” text messages

Have you ever received a weird, flirty, or overly personal text message from a narcissist, only for them to say you weren’t the intended recipient?

Mistakes can happen, but it’s probably not a mistake if it happens to you more than once or twice. It’s just a narcissist playing cruel games with you.

For example, they may experiment with different ways of communicating. They may want to tell you how “important” they are in texting other people.

They may even want to make you feel jealous, especially if they directly reveal something they haven’t told you.

How to Respond to a Narcissistic Text Message?

Knowing what to text a narcissist or how to respond to a narcissistic text message isn’t always easy.

You don’t want to engage in toxic communication habits, nor should you feel pressured to respond just to boost someone else’s self-esteem. Here are some helpful pointers.

1 Set Your Boundaries

You don’t need to respond to every message a narcissist sends you. You also don’t need to respond within moments of receiving their text message.

It’s perfectly reasonable to have boundaries around your technology use — and this applies even if you don’t have a narcissist in your life. Some good boundaries might include:

Only using your phone during certain hours of the day.

Requesting that people call instead of text in the event of a real emergency.

Turning your phone off or on silent before bed.

Not using your phone on weekends or holidays.

Keep in mind that narcissists often expect to be the exception in people’s lives.

They don’t want to play by the rules, so you can expect them to try to push your boundaries or ignore them altogether. So, it’s your responsibility to take a firm stance.

2 Respond one message at a time

Don’t reinforce the power of words or constant bombardment. If you do respond, sending a simple response is perfectly reasonable.

Don’t feel the need to answer every question they ask. The more you try to “get on their level,” the more they’ll assume that “your level” is the only acceptable level.

3 Avoid Serious Conversations Over Text

This sounds like a lot. Let’s talk about this in person.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. We’ll discuss it on the phone tomorrow.

There’s no need to engage in drama over text. Often, narcissists are braver behind their screens than they are in person.

But if they want to have a serious conversation with you, you can put the ball in their court by asking to discuss these matters in person.

4 Ignore the Manipulation or Games

Often, the best strategy for responding to a narcissist’s text message is to completely withdraw.

Instead of arguing or trying to “show” them why they’re wrong, try taking a more neutral approach by not saying anything.

This neutral approach is helpful if you’re seeking a low-contact relationship. With this type of relationship, you want to limit or avoid feeding the narcissistic drama (as hard as that may be).

5 Block Them

Remember that you have every right to choose who you want to be. If you feel ready to truly put an end to narcissistic abuse, you may want to block the narcissist.

Blocking clears up the chaos and gives you time to think about how to move forward in your relationship.

Remember that blocking doesn’t have to be permanent—even if you feel hesitant, it can be a helpful strategy to simply pause and think.

What Happens When You Don’t Respond to a Narcissistic Text

What Happens When You Don’t Respond to a Narcissistic Text? And when you start ignoring a narcissistic text, how should you prepare yourself for what’s next? Here’s what to expect.