Have you ever felt afraid of money?
I don’t mean you’d jump out of your skin and run four blocks any second if you found a quarter.
I mean, does the thought of not having anything keep you up at night? What about the thought of spending it? Have you been severely restricted in what you spend?
It’s time to ask these questions on your healing journey, because these questions will help you uncover the source of any fear of money.
I’ll give you an idea—the narcissist played a huge role.
Let’s take a look at 11 things narcissists do to keep you financially dependent.
Dependence&Narcissism
Narcissists are repelled by the idea of dependence on others. They have to be the driving force behind every financial move that happens.
Their core fear of dependence has to go somewhere, so it goes to you.
Related : Things Narcissists Will Never Tell You About Their Fears
A gift you’ve always wanted, right?
How a Narcissist Makes You Financially Dependent on Others
1 Tells You to Quit Your Job
What happens when you quit your job? Unless you have a new job, you don’t have a regular source of income.
What happens if you need a haircut or new clothes?
What about your direct payments? It’s complicated, right? Looking at what’s being spent, you might think, “Oh my god, this all really adds up.”
Of course it is. You might enjoy a local gym membership, or a monthly movie trip with your sister.
The little things you love to do are impossible without a job.
So when you hear, “You don’t need to work. I can take care of both of us on my wages,” don’t listen or believe it. Taking away your independence makes you dependent on them.
2 Convince You to Love Cheap Things
Narcissists do this in a way you wouldn’t even realize.
Shopping at the supermarket and pointing out all the cheaper items, making them look delicious.
Looking at clothes together and deciding which ones cost (and maybe even look) the cheapest so you think they’d rather see you in them.
Related : What Narcissists Really Want From Their Victims
Telling you to buy a used car that’s on its last legs and convincing you that it will do the job you want it to.
All this to convince you that cheap is better, and don’t get me wrong, cheap isn’t always bad.
But your value in some items will diminish as the price drops, and that’s how you’ll start to see yourself over time.
3 Guilt Makes You Spend Money
And when you spend money – even if it’s yours – you’ll feel bad about it!
Where did it come from? And how much did it cost you?
I didn’t know you were that rich!
So what if you do spend the money? If it’s yours and it doesn’t affect any bills, what’s the big deal?
You may feel so guilty that you limit your spending altogether, so be careful.
4 Pull Your Bank Cards
Well, if you can’t spend any money, none of it will ever be taken out of your account…
…and you’ll just have to ask if you need anything.
Imagine what life might be like.
5 Suggest a Joint Account
This is a problem if you have a lot of money that the narcissist wants access to.
Related : What Really Makes A Narcissist Panic Inside
If you start collecting your money, be prepared to spend it lavishly, literally disappearing overnight from your savings.
6 Children…lots of children
Having a child with a narcissist means you’re likely to be away from work for a while. By the time you should be back at work, a second child will arrive.
This is typical of narcissistic relationships and is designed to keep the victim at home, not only without money but also to care for their children.
Raising a family and feeling like you’re doing it alone, without money even for emergencies is exhausting.
7 Complaining about bills
Did you see our water consumption last quarter?
How much time do you spend showering?
That’s ridiculous!
You’ll have to cut back on the number of showers you take a week!
Complaining about bills means you’ll be in and out of the shower in seconds.
You won’t stay warm in the house. You’ll never use your phone again, so calling people you know becomes less frequent.
Related : How To Brilliantly Outsmart A Narcissist
The list goes on, this is true.
8 Denying you access to accounts
If the accounts are in your name, you are legally entitled to access all of them.
However, narcissists will ignore this and tell you that they changed the password because they got a text from the bank and then fail to tell you the new password.
I’m busy with work, I’ll talk to you about it over the weekend.
Everything is taken care of. I don’t know what you’re worried about.
Their excuses go on and on, while you’re no better off, and there’s no proof of expenses or money coming in.
9 Taking you out of school or training
At one time or another, we’ve all had goals or dreams. High hopes of being like this, working here, or doing that.
It’s entirely possible that the narcissist in question never made it to a higher stage in life, and doesn’t want the same for you.
Related : WARNING: How Narcissists Use Your Children Against You
I know this for sure, because it happened to someone I worked with in previous sessions.
She wanted to go to college.
Her father told her it was a waste of time.
She didn’t go and ended up in dead-end job after dead-end job.
All because she assumed he was right – that was all she was meant for.
What this did was keep her at home longer. Her lower-paying jobs meant she couldn’t save as quickly, or get out and make a life of her own.
And that also became a problem…so you see, there’s no winning in this kind of game.
10 Trick You
You don’t need to work. Why?
Money doesn’t matter. You have everything you need right here.
I think you’re a bit ambitious in your job, don’t you?
Convincing yourself that you don’t earn money is convincing you that you don’t have your own source of income.
Related : 10 Morning Habits That Reveal Someone Is a Narcissist
Narcissists work hard to convince people of these kinds of ideas, and they’ll easily influence their minds.
11 “Power – Control”
All power goes to the narcissist when they take it from you, and finances are not just currency, they are currency of power.
Ultimately, this is why they want to make you financially dependent on them. They can’t live or survive unless the power is theirs alone.
