Narcissistic people use words more as tools or weapons than as a means of communication. This is one reason why dealing with narcissists can be so frustrating and confusing.
How to deal with a narcissistic person is by decoding his language.
The following examples of common phrases used by narcissists, along with a translation, can help you recognize what the narcissist in your life might be saying beneath their words.
1. “You’re crazy.”
Translation: “I don’t take you seriously and I don’t respect you. If I can make you doubt yourself, it will be easier to control you.”
2. “You are completely wrong.”
Translation: “I have no idea if what you said is of any use but I don’t care. It’s a lot of work to listen to this.”
2. “You are completely wrong.”
Translation: “I have no idea if what you said is of any use but I don’t care. It’s a lot of work to listen to this.”
3. “Stop psychoanalyzing me.”
Translation: “I have no idea what you’re talking about but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Meditation scares me. Either tell me something great about me or shut up.”
4. “I never said that.”
Translation: “I may have said it well, but I don’t like the way it makes me sound. If I disagree, you might back off or get confused.”
5. “I consider you my equal.”
Translation: “I hope you believe this because you won’t see how little I think about you and then I can use you more.”
6. “We’ve discussed this a million times before.”
Translation: “I won’t listen this time either.”
7. “I’m sorry you’re upset.”
Translation: “I’m not apologizing. It’s your fault you got upset, not mine. Maybe this will sound like an apology enough that you’ll forget about it and go back to your real job, which makes me happy.”
8. “You’re so needy.”
Translation: “Your needs are annoying to me, don’t expect me to do anything about them. Your job is to meet my needs, not the other way around.”
9. “You only think about yourself.”
Translation: “Stop trying to steal the spotlight. It’s all about me. You’re not worth the attention.”
10. “You’re too sensitive.”
Translation: “Your feelings are uncomfortable for me. I don’t know how to sympathize. Even if I did, I would have no interest in sympathizing with you. Maybe if I shamed you, you would stop bothering me with your words.” feelings.”
11. “You can trust me.”
Translation: “You’d be stupid to trust me, but if I can get you to believe this lie, I’ll be able to keep taking advantage of you. Plus, even if it’s not true, it makes me feel better saying that about myself.”
Recognizing the true meaning behind a narcissist’s words may evoke many emotions: sadness, anger, relief, sadness, freedom, shock, and more. As feminist pioneer Gloria Steinem said: “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you angry.”
Translating a narcissist’s words is important because narcissists live in reverse.
When they feel empty, they make up for it with a bigger and better personality. To avoid appearing flawless, they need to be their best. In order not to appear ignorant, they must be certain. To avoid feeling weak, they act strong. Their words reflect the endless game of chance.
If you are taking the narcissist too literally, you may have exhausted yourself trying to make sense of it all. If you try to change your behavior in response to the narcissist’s criticism, you may find that the criticism continues anyway.
Freedom around narcissists comes from caring about “the man behind the curtain” and from seeing that “the emperor has no clothes.”
