When you reach the stage:
You 1 – Narcissist 0…
…it’s time to celebrate.
Even more importantly, it’s time to reflect and see how you’ve actually overcome them.
Many victims think this is impossible, but you’ve proven it is possible.
So, what did you need to achieve this? How exactly did you overcome them?
I have 11 signs that you’ve made it…
AmI There Now?
I wish you were all here, right now! All this time spent under the narcissist’s control must one day stop, and I wish it were up to you to take control and say, “Enough!”
Related : 11 Reasons Why Women Stay With Abusive Men
It takes a lot of time and awareness to reach this stage, and I know you all have the courage to overcome toxicity head-on.
What It’s Like To Overcome A Narcissist
If you were under the influence and control of a terrifyingly manipulative person, how would you feel?
- Would you feel empowered?
- Would you have felt relieved?
- Would you have been afraid?
- Would you have been hesitant?
- Would you have been anxious?
- Would you have been happy?
- Would you have been grateful?
- Would you have been free?
- Would you have felt guilty?
None of these feelings are wrong—it’s a time of conflicting emotions, and I don’t think any of them will be the only ones you’ll feel. We change as we go, and there’s no right or wrong.
11 Signs You’ve Over a Narcissist
- You Don’t Miss Them
So, let’s take a look at all the ways you can tell you’ve overcome a narcissist.
What a relief it is to wake up each morning without having to soothe your aching heart.
The worst part about missing someone is all the memories you have to pull from your mind to confirm their absence. When this becomes your daily routine, life can become extremely difficult.
Overcoming a narcissist begins with the beautiful realization that you no longer miss them.
You don’t miss 5% of the good times versus 95% of the bad times. You don’t miss anything.
And it means a little more than that. Missing them is often linked to the attachment you once had with them.
Related : Why I Couldn’t Tell The Difference Between Love and Narcissistic Abuse
The feeling that you won’t let them go because of that “bond” will make you crave them for a very long time.
Now—it’s all over, and you feel freer!
- You Start Rebuilding Your Life
Rebuilding your life after narcissistic abuse isn’t easy. Most people don’t even know where to begin, because all they’ve experienced is being told what to do and what not to do (either directly or indirectly).
Suddenly, you find yourself with a world open to you, and you’re responsible for how you fill it. As overwhelming as it may seem, starting to do so is what tells you that you’ve defeated the narcissist.
Rebuilding takes courage. It’s admirable to gather what’s left of your self-confidence and self-esteem to feel worthy.
This is a huge step in defeating a narcissist.
- Goodbye Guilt
Guilt disappears as soon as you begin to defeat the narcissist!
You won’t sit idly by, afraid of the past, and feel bad about it.
No one is telling you to shame your thoughts, opinions, or actions. That dark cloud of manipulation no longer hangs over your head.
And now? You’re responsible for your choices. Don’t dwell on the past or feel bad about the results.
The only reason you felt guilty when you were with the narcissist was because they taught you how to take responsibility for their actions and behavior.
But you weren’t responsible for any of it.
- Happiness Gradually Returns
Happiness will gradually begin to creep back into your life as you defeat the narcissist. You’ll start enjoying everything again.
Related : 17 Signs You Dealt With Narcissistic Abuse as a Kid
From music, exercising, baking, watching your favorite shows, meeting friends, and even enjoying work!
Everything the narcissist held you back or criticized you for will come back to you—and you’ll love it.
- Acceptance – It Is What It Is
Okay, okay – that’s a phrase that can divide people!
But the truth is – your past happened, and the person you thought was perfect turned out to be a narcissist.
You no longer dwell on it, wish it had turned out differently, regret it, or beat yourself up.
It is what it is.
Acceptance.
This is what happened, and I can’t change it. I’m going to live my life now and close that chapter.
- You No Longer Feel Responsible
Why should you? Their moods aren’t your problem, and they never were.
The difference now is that you’ve become aware of it, and it’ll instantly feel less overwhelming than it was.
Realizing that you’re not responsible for the narcissist, how the relationship developed, or their behavior in general means you can finally experience what it means to be free – and innocent!
- You Don’t Want to Play
Games? Sure! You like board games, or card games.
Narcissistic games? No, thanks.
You’re done. You were there, played them without knowing it for a while, and now you’re done.
You won’t be attracted or seduced, and nothing they say or do will make you want to participate in it again.
- Vacuuming Doesn’t Work
Look, here comes the narcissist. He’s going to tell me he loves me. He’s going to tell me he can’t live without me. He’s going to apologize.
Related : 9 Questions We Want The Narcissist To Answer
Wait, what’s this? A new tactic?
All of a sudden, they’re upping the ante. They show up at your job with flowers. They propose to you. They book you a weekend away, all expenses paid.
But you?
No!
You don’t believe it. You’re not interested, and you see these gestures for what they are:
Empty ways to lure you in and start the cycle of abuse all over again.
- Laugh Instead of Crying
Laughter is good for the soul, and you’ve clearly missed out on a lot of it with the narcissist.
You’re finding your laughter again when it comes to overcoming them.
Crying was your coping mechanism before, and now you’re discovering a lighter side to life.
What a way to prove you can get through it all!
- Take Care of Yourself
Have you started paying attention to how you look and feel? Are you giving yourself opportunities to eat good food instead of bad?
Have you started exercising or doing something that boosts your happy hormones?
Related : 13 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Use To Destroy Your Confidence
What about sleep? Are you making sure you get more of it, and of better quality?
This is because you’ve overcome the narcissist, and you no longer have to listen to him or her try to put you down every day.
- He or She Turns to Another
After the narcissist has had enough of your failed attempts, they’ll eventually get bored with you and move on to a new source.
Be grateful if this happens. He’s proven he can’t reach you, and he knows that about you, too.
