Starting a new relationship is exciting. We get to know someone new better, and more often than not, we feel nervous.
That’s why it’s devastating when you start to suspect that something might be wrong. You have a hunch that the person you’ve been dating isn’t all that bright and beautiful.
You think they’re a serial cheater. They might be cheating on you. To find out if that’s the case, there are a few red flags you need to look out for.
So, let’s find out what they are.
1) You catch them lying or inconsistent
You had high hopes for this new relationship. However, even if you’re still infatuated with your new partner, little lies or inconsistencies in their stories start to pile up.
It could be about where they were last night, who they were with, or why they can’t answer your calls.
If you notice this happening a lot, it’s time to confront them and even end the relationship if your gut feeling is telling you that they’re not being honest with you and that they’re going to cheat on you the first chance they get.
That’s if they haven’t already.
2) They have a history of cheating in previous relationships
Well, another big warning sign is if you find out that they’ve been cheating on you in their previous relationships.
This makes you wonder if they’ve really changed their ways and if they could be cheating on you, too.
But there’s another reason for concern – if they’ve had a history of short, intense relationships in the past.
In this case, it’s natural to wonder if they’ll stay loyal and committed to your relationship, given their past track record.
Both of these are warning signs that you’ve started dating a serial cheater. This is also the case:
3) They flirt a lot with others, even in your presence
They act flirtatious with others, even when you’re standing right next to them. It’s like they can’t help themselves, and it’s embarrassing and painful to watch.
It’s like they don’t respect the fact that you’re in a committed relationship, and it makes you feel like they don’t value your special bond.
They’re the scorpion in the fox and scorpion fable, and they can’t stop themselves from biting the fox when you’re in the water together.
4) They Downplay Loyalty in a Relationship
If a bank manager told you that he’s okay with robbing banks and that it’s no big deal, what would you think?
Not good, right?
So if your partner made comments that downplayed monogamy, like “It’s just a physical relationship” or “Everyone cheats,” you’d probably walk away, right?
5) They Seem Overly Interested in the Opposite Sex in a Way That Makes You Uncomfortable
We all know that image where your boyfriend looks at a girl walking by, and his girlfriend makes fun of him.
Well, if that’s your new partner, you could be in big trouble.
RELATED:I cheated on my husband while I was away on a business trip. Here’s why I don’t regret it.
His over-interest in the opposite sex goes beyond healthy curiosity. If it involves constant staring, inappropriate comments, or flirting, you’ll feel uncomfortable all the time.
6) They avoid introducing you to their friends or family
Have you noticed that your partner doesn’t make a real effort to introduce you to the important people in their life, like their friends and family?
In most committed relationships, it’s natural to want to bring your partner into your inner circle, but in your case, that’s not happening as expected.
It’s like they’re keeping you at arm’s length from the people who mean the most to them.
This is a big red flag about how serious they are about the relationship. They might be a serial cheater if you notice other clues from this list as well.
7) You find hidden dating profiles or messages
They guard their phones like a treasure, often keeping them face down, using a strong passcode, or refusing to let you touch them.
When you ask them about their texts, they get defensive, making you wonder what they’re hiding.
So, when the day comes, your suspicions are confirmed. You go about your daily routine, perhaps borrowing your partner’s phone to look something up or check a message.
But instead of what you expected, you stumble upon something that makes your heart sink.
Discovering hidden dating profiles or finding secret messages on your partner’s devices is a traumatic experience.
It’s like finding a locked diary that reveals secrets you were never supposed to see. It’s a real shock, and it’s hard to ignore or let go of.
8) They often cancel plans or disappear for periods without explanation
You were looking forward to spending quality time with your partner. You made plans, maybe a romantic dinner or a weekend getaway.
But often, at the last minute, they call or text you with an excuse like “I have to work late” or “something came up.”
These excuses are so vague and lack details, it can leave you feeling frustrated and uncertain about what’s going on.
This is concerning because it suggests that they may be using these disappearing actions as opportunities to chat with you.
It’s as if they’re creating space to meet someone else or hiding their actions.
9) They Don’t Like Discussing Commitment or Exclusivity
You’ve been dating someone for a while, and things are going well, or at least you think they are.
You’re starting to get feelings, and you’re wondering where this is headed. You’re working up the courage to bring up exclusivity or the future, perhaps asking, “Are we officially together?” or “Where do you see this going?”
But here’s the thing: They’re avoiding these conversations like the plague.
This could be a major red flag. So, if your partner is avoiding these important discussions, you need to address this issue and find out where they stand in your relationship.
But then there’s another hurdle that can arise:
10) They get defensive or dismissive when you raise your concerns
Instead of having an honest conversation, they respond defensively, blaming you or belittling your concerns.
They say things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re paranoid.” Sometimes, their response can escalate into an explosive argument, leaving you feeling unheard and awful.
You’re hitting a brick wall every time you try to address your concerns about their loyalty.
This is not a great situation to be in. If I were you, I wouldn’t think twice about leaving them.
11) They don’t show empathy for the pain of betrayal
Another big warning sign is when your partner doesn’t seem to understand how painful the betrayal is. They wear an emotional blinder, unable to see the pain and grief it causes.
They make it seem like the betrayal is no big deal, and they brush it off as a simple mistake.
It’s a clear sign that they don’t take your feelings seriously, and they show a disregard for the consequences of their actions.
This is the time to leave them alone.
Final Thoughts
Catching your partner in the act of cheating or finding concrete evidence, such as explicit text messages, photos, or any other indisputable evidence, leaves no room for doubt.
But if you just have a hunch and a few red flags, you need to confront them.
Then, after seeing their response to your concerns, you’ll be better equipped to decide whether this relationship and this person are worth it.
