Have you ever felt heartbroken when you caught a narcissist cheating on you? Worse yet, even when you catch them in the act, they still deny it, right? You’re not alone.
We all use lies to cover up small lies, but for narcissists, lying is second nature. Narcissists lie about everything, and they will definitely lie about their cheating behavior, even when the evidence is on the table… or on the floor.
But why do they lie? Why do they lie even when you have so much evidence of their wrongdoing? Narcissists need to lie to keep their world intact. Here are 11 reasons why they need to lie and never give in.
1 Self-Protection
They want to avoid the consequences or repercussions of their actions.
They cheated, but they will deny it, even if you catch them in the act. Why? Because they are trying to protect themselves. They don’t want to face the consequences—the emotional distress, the loss of reputation, or even the end of the relationship.
It’s a defense mechanism, a way to maintain their image, their control, and their world as they want it to be.
They’re not thinking about your feelings, your trust, and your sadness. They’re thinking about their needs, their image, and their security. It’s a selfish act, and a clear sign of their narcissism.
2 Control and Manipulation
Lying about cheating allows them to manipulate the narrative and control the perception of others.
By crafting an alternate reality where they remain loyal and committed, they can portray themselves as the victim, not the villain. They’d rather control the narrative than face their actions.
This manipulation stems from a desperate need to maintain a perfect image, a flawless facade that they’ve worked so hard to build. It’s a defense mechanism that controls their environment and the people within it.
3 Emotional Manipulation
By denying their infidelity, they can make their partner doubt their intuition or evidence of their infidelity, a form of manipulation known as emotional manipulation.
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Behind the façade of control and manipulation lies a deeper form of deception in their toolbox—emotional manipulation. In this technique, they make you question your intuition or evidence of their infidelity. This mind game is a classic tactic in the narcissist’s playbook, and it’s a cruel one.
When you’re certain they’re cheating, they will vehemently deny it, making you feel like you’re crazy.
They’ll twist the truth, manipulate the facts, and even accuse you of being crazy or overly suspicious. The goal? To confuse you, make you doubt your judgment, and ultimately, control you.
It’s a form of psychological abuse that leaves you feeling lost, wondering if you’re losing your mind. Don’t fall for it. Trust your instincts and stick to your evidence.
4 Maintaining Social Status
They may fear that admitting to cheating will damage their image or social standing.
Another reason they lie about cheating is to protect their social image and social standing, fearing that admitting will tarnish their carefully crafted persona.
Narcissists carefully cultivate an idealized self-image, one that others often admire.
This image is an essential part of their identity, and they will go to great lengths to maintain it.
5 Lack of Empathy
Narcissists often lack empathy, which means they are less likely to acknowledge the pain and hurt their actions may cause.
Even though their actions cause hurt, narcissists often fail to acknowledge the pain they inflict because of their lack of empathy.
Imagine you’re dealing with a narcissist, and they’ve betrayed you. You’re hurting, but they don’t seem to care. They’re not callous; they can’t understand your emotional distress.
Empathy, the ability to understand other people’s feelings, is largely absent from them. They’re so focused on their own needs and desires that they can’t put themselves in your shoes. They may even distort the situation, making you feel guilty for their mistakes.
This lack of empathy enables them to lie about their betrayal without remorse, regardless of the pain and distress they cause you.
6 Superiority and Power
Lying can assert power, dominance, or superiority over others by controlling the narrative.
Narcissists often use lies to assert their superiority and maintain their power over others.
When they lie, they’re not just deceiving you. They’re manipulating the narrative to suit their needs. It’s a strategic move designed to put them in a position of power.
They’re convincing you of an alternate reality where they’re always right, always the victim, or always the hero. And you? You’re left questioning your judgment, feeling confused and helpless.
7 Avoid Criticism
They fear criticism and may lie to protect their ego and deflect any form of criticism.
The fear of criticism often drives narcissists to lie, using deception to protect their fragile ego and deflect any form of criticism.
They fear exposure or judgment, so they create a false narrative that portrays them in a more favorable light. You may catch them in the act, but they will deny it or twist the truth to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
It’s not about you or the truth. It’s about their need to protect their self-image at all costs. They are masters of manipulation and can convincingly distort reality to suit their agenda.
When dealing with a narcissist, be aware of this tactic. Don’t let their lies make you doubt your reality. Trust your instincts and be consistent.
8 Fear of Rejection
Despite their braggadocio, many narcissists fear rejection and use lies to avoid being abandoned.
Beneath their bold facade, many narcissists fear rejection, and resort to lies to avoid the possibility of being left alone. Although they portray themselves as confident, they fear rejection.
They fear that you will find out about their actions, realize their true character, and decide to leave. This fear drives them to lie and deceive, creating an illusion of perfection to keep you hooked. They would rather weave a web of lies than face the risk of rejection.
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It’s not about maintaining a relationship built on trust and mutual respect for them. It’s about securing their ego, maintaining control, and avoiding the unbearable thought of being abandoned.
9 Entitlement
Narcissists often believe they have the right to bend the truth because they feel the rules or norms don’t apply to them.
While trying to play fair, narcissists often believe they are above the rules, justifying their lies and deception with a misguided sense of entitlement. They twist the truth without batting an eyelid because they believe they are exempt from the standards that apply to others.
Their inflated self-importance makes them believe they are entitled to get what they want, when they want it, and by any means necessary. This includes lying about infidelity. It’s not about you or the relationship, it’s about their right and their refusal to abide by the standards.
When caught, they may dismiss your feelings, denying the undeniable. Stand up for yourself and don’t let their sense of entitlement undermine your self-worth.
10 Fear of Losing Control
Admitting to infidelity means losing control of the situation—something narcissists fear intensely.
Narcissists who are tightly gripped by control dread the very idea of admitting to infidelity, an admission that would inevitably strip them of their power in the relationship.
They fear this loss of control intensely because it threatens their carefully constructed persona and challenges the narrative they’ve built around themselves.
For them, control isn’t just manipulation; it’s a survival mechanism.
Admitting to cheating will not only expose their deceitful behavior, but it will also expose them to consequences they would rather avoid. They may lose their partners, social status, and the respect they covet.
11 Maintaining Multiple Relationships
They may want to maintain the other relationship(s) alongside their current one for selfish reasons.
In addition to their fear of losing control, narcissists also lie about cheating to maintain multiple relationships for their own benefit. For them, it’s less about commitment or loyalty and more about satisfying their needs and desires.
They may view these relationships as a source of validation, attention, or material gain. They have become accustomed to manipulating multiple partners, using lies and manipulation to keep their deception under the radar.
FinalWords
So, you’ve been caught with a narcissist who lied about cheating, even when you caught them in the act. Remember, it’s not about you. They’re protecting themselves, controlling the narrative, deceiving, or maintaining their status.
