Most of us have known people who are high-maintenance and require a lot of time and energy, leaving behind a residue of drama and exhausting chaos. You know who they are. Although these people may claim to be your loyal and caring companions, they somehow leave you feeling drained, irritable, angry, or resentful when you interact with them. You may feel overwhelmed just reading or thinking about it!

But when it comes to romantic relationships, it can be a little difficult to know if your relationship is healthy or toxic. After all, even the best relationships have sticking points, and he makes you feel good sometimes. However, true partners – and healthy relationships – don’t come at a high cost.

Instead, they leave you feeling happy, secure, and truly appreciated. They give at least as much as they take, and often more. They listen. They care. They accept you as you are and are patient with what you are trying to become. If you’re wondering if your current relationship is toxic, find out by asking yourself these 11 questions.

Here are 11 painfully honest signs that your relationship is extremely toxic:

Is your relationship one-sided or give-and-take?

Healthy relationships are not one-sided. Both people benefit from being with each other. In unhealthy relationships, one person always seems to give much more than the other

Can you expect respect from your friend?

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect. In unhealthy relationships, people make fun of each other, don’t listen to each other, make fun of each other, or behave poorly with each other.

Can you grow and change together?

Unhealthy relationships become threatened when someone grows or changes.

Is your relationship characterized by possessiveness?

Unhealthy relationships are threatened by other people or circumstances.

Does it nourish your relationships and add to your life?

Unhealthy relationships leave you feeling empty and drained.

Does your friend accept and love you as you are?

Unhealthy relationships require you to act the way someone else wants to be accepted.

Are you allowed to have a wide range of emotions?

Unhealthy relationships only have room for certain feelings. People in these relationships may become impatient or upset if you are sad or anxious, or if you need emotional support.

Are your differences respected?

Unhealthy relationships require conformity. Healthy relationships embrace differences.

Do you feel safe and secure together?

In unhealthy relationships, trust is broken, secrets are shared, and trust is betrayed.

Are you both committed to your relationship?

In unhealthy relationships, there is only one partner.

Is power or status a factor in your relationship?

Unhealthy relationships seek to exploit another person’s social standing to improve their social status. If you’re still unsure, check out this list to see if these experiences sound familiar. If so, your relationship may be toxic:

You are constantly giving and rarely feel heard.
I’ve often wondered whether you’re valued for something like your popularity, your looks, your degree, your job status, or something other than who you are as a person.
It seems like there are a lot of expectations and rules that go along with dating your boyfriend.
The relationship with him feels tenuous and conditional as if he will disappear from your life if you don’t meet his expectations or follow his rules.
Your friend criticizes other people you care about or other people in your friend group. You suspect he might say similar things about you when you’re not around.
He expects you to be available when he’s needed but doesn’t extend the same courtesy.
He finds your needs trivial, tiring, or uncomfortable.

How to take care of yourself: It can be very difficult to walk away from a relationship into which you have invested a significant amount of time, energy, and yourself. But sometimes things change, and what may seem attractive and satisfying at first can turn into something more toxic and destructive over time. Or maybe it’s been like this all along, and the things that initially attracted you to this person have lost their spark.

Pay attention to how you feel when you interact with your friend. Everyone has bad days, but those days are different from persistent patterns of abuse that leave you feeling unappreciated, angry and exhausted most of the time. Remember: letting go of a toxic person can create space for someone who deserves you more. take care of yourself. This may include exploring the beliefs that allowed you to stay in an unhealthy relationship for so long. Know that sometimes distance and even complete separation can be a big step toward peace of mind and self-esteem.

How to Be a Healthy Partner: Many people don’t have great role models for healthy relationships, and if you find your behaviors tend toward “unhealthy” characteristics, start taking steps to change them. This may take some time and, often, some support from a caring, non-judgmental practitioner. Use the patterns above to reduce stress and unhappiness in your relationships and become the kind of person people are happy to have around.

Here are 11 painfully honest signs that your relationship is extremely toxic:

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