We all want healthy, happy, and successful relationships.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way.
We can find ourselves feeling stuck in unhealthy relationships that bring pain and sadness when they should be bringing joy.
Sometimes we don’t see the warning signs until it’s too late. Other times we know what’s going on, but we don’t know what to do for the best.
This article will help you empower yourself.
We’ll go over all the ways to identify and eventually break free from toxic relationships.
So, let’s not waste time!
How do you know if your relationship is toxic? 15 tags to look out for
1) There is a lack of support
Relationships are about teamwork.
You must feel that you have someone next to you, next to you to live with.
So if there is a general lack of interest in each other’s lives, both of you may feel lonely.
It may seem like your needs, wants, and desires don’t really matter that much.
Instead of being your cheerleader, you may even feel like they’re trying to compete with you.
If they feel like you’ve “won” at something, it triggers their anxiety and so they want to try and get you down or two to take the upper hand.
2) Some bad things are said
They say that while sticks and stones may break your bones, words can never hurt you. But boy are they wrong.
The truth is, the words we speak can cause a great deal of pain and grief.
In many ways, we can be violent with our words. They land strikes.
Your relationship can be toxic if you struggle to speak to each other with respect, kindness, and decency.
For example, discussions quickly descend into shouting matches. Or even your simple daily interactions are full of harsh words or sarcasm.
And it affects, criticism, ridicule, snide remarks and lack of mercy make you feel bad.
3) Jealousy takes over
I say seize, because the truth is, a little bit of jealousy in a relationship is normal.
In some ways, it’s just a sign that you care.
But if the green-eyed monster appears regularly in your relationship, that’s not good.
And if that turns into widespread possessiveness, you’re clearly embroiled in a toxic situation.
Suspicion and mistrust can quickly spoil a relationship.
4) Envy gets in the way of celebrating each other
In a healthy relationship, we love to see our partner thrive.
So we feel elated for them when good things happen and we share in their success.
We are proud when their hard work, efforts and talents are rewarded.
Alarm bells should be ringing if this is not the case in your relationship.
For example, if they seem envious or even bitter when good things happen to you.
5) You feel anxious about what you say or do
Walking on eggshells seriously gets in the way of intimacy.
It’s hard to be ourselves when we’re constantly feeling hypervigilant.
This puts a strain on relationships.
Perhaps you feel that whatever you say or do, it is always wrong. You meet your best efforts with stress.
You worry about bringing your concerns up because you don’t want arguments. So you simply try to do whatever it takes to avoid conflict.
6) The relationship is full of lies and deceit
We all lie. But for most of us, we only talk a little bit.
In fact, research has found that 75% of people only tell one or two nibbles a day.
Perhaps surprisingly, we are more likely to lie to those we care about the most. But remarkably, 88.6% of people said they were white lies.
It is often spoken to preserve the feelings of others. For example, saying you like a gift when you really don’t like it.
The remaining 11.4% called it “big lies”. These are the kinds of destructive lies.
They break trust.
Perhaps it is your partner who you suspect is lying. Or you might find yourself lying too.
For example, you find yourself cheating because you worry about how they will react to the truth.
It’s a primary sign of toxicity in a relationship if you can’t be fundamentally honest with each other.
7) You are neglecting yourself
You may feel like you are starting to lose sight of yourself. Perhaps to the point where you sometimes feel like a different person.
You don’t take the time to take care of yourself.
Your interests and hobbies are seriously neglected. In fact, your free time in general seems to have been sacrificed.
Since your partner doesn’t approve of the time you just take to yourself, you’ve given up on the positive habits you once made time for.
8) You have sacrificed other close relationships
Perhaps your partner is used to being moody when you go to see friends. Or they were jealous of how close you were to a family member.
Because it caused tension in your relationship, you found yourself distancing yourself from others, so you didn’t shake the situation.
You may not have even noticed other important connections slipping out of your life. But with you increasingly focused on your partner, it just seemed to happen.
9) T9) There are control behaviors
You can’t go anywhere without being constantly asked what you’re doing or who you’re with.
If you spent anything, even your own money, you were met with 1,001 inquiry questions.
If you fail to respond promptly to texts or phone calls, they go crazy. Even the things you wear can come under scrutiny.
All of these point to control issues.
They could stem from jealousy or a lack of trust. But either way, if your partner doesn’t feel completely in control, they won’t be happy.
10) There is an accumulation of resentment, frustration and bitterness
Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships, whether we like it or not.
But how we deal with that can make or break our bond.
If grudges do occur, they can erode the goodwill in your relationship.
In its place, irritation mounts.
If grievances are not raised, dealt with, and resolved, you may feel that a lot of resentment begins to build up.
11) There is a sense of disrespect
We all know how important respect is for building solid relationships, but we don’t always know how to define its absence.
This is because basic respect is demonstrated in many small ways.
Things like making plans and keeping them, rather than constantly canceling. or respond to messages within a reasonable time frame.
Of course, some of this also comes down to both communication and expectations. But it’s definitely a red flag if you often feel disrespected or neglected.
12) There is a lot of avoidance
We all take different approaches when dealing with things. And for some of us, this approach hides the difficulties.
The “low lying” strategy seeks to avoid as much conflict as possible.
You can choose to do this by trying to overlook your problems or just trying to stay out of your partner’s way as much as possible.
If you both avoid each other, something is clearly not working.
13) A different day, a different drama
Here’s the thing, your relationship is unique. So there may be your own things going on.
But regardless of those details, they all fall under one simple heading:
drama.
It never feels like an easy ride. There is always a new challenge, a new obstacle or a new problem in your way.
Instead of improving your life, your relationship seems to be making it worse.
14) You are beginning to feel trapped
Your head is spinning so much that you can’t see a way out.
You want things to be different, but you don’t know how. You may be feeling defeated, drained, and deeply hopeless right now.
You know you want this to end, but you feel stuck and don’t know how to break this pattern.
(Keep reading for some practical tips to help you break the cycle!)
15) You cling to the memory of better times
Here’s why it’s so hard to get rid of toxic relationships:
Because they usually weren’t always that way.
At first, just being around this person can make you feel on top of the world.
I felt special, cared for, and important.
Although that seems like a distant memory – it’s still a memory.
And so you cling to the past, the fun times, the connection you once felt.
You wonder if you can make a change to go back to that place.
But deep in your heart, you may know that your relationship cannot be saved, and that you need to break free.
So how do you start doing that?
Let’s take a closer look.
How do you end a toxic relationship cycle? 10 ways to break free
1) Know that you just have to start exactly where you are
It’s tempting to ignore this step. I mean, it seems like an obvious point, right?
