It is not easy to manipulate people if they are self-confident.

For this reason, manipulators like to soften up their victims by slowly diminishing their self-worth.

And they are very good at it!

You may not realize they are doing this until it is too late and your mental health is already down the drain.

You have to be aware of their tactics if you want to protect yourself.

Here are 10 ways manipulators slowly chip away at your self-worth.

1) They highlight you
“You’re paranoid!”

“You’re not thinking straight.”

“Do you really think I can do that to you?!”

One way manipulators control you is by making you doubt your perception of reality.

After all, what if you’re actually just being paranoid? What if you’re actually not thinking straight?

The scary thing is that some people are so good at gaslighting that you would never even suspect they are doing it.

How does this affect your self-worth?

Well, questioning your judgment and clarity of mind all the time will eventually destroy your self-confidence.

2) They belittle your accomplishments
Manipulators may act nice and show good intentions, but they always want you to see them as someone superior to you.

The last thing they want is for you to feel good about yourself.

Why?

Because you might end up feeling like you deserve something.

They don’t want that because it makes it difficult for them to play with your emotions and control you.

That’s why, even if you win an award or achieve an achievement you’ve been striving for for years, they’ll act as if it’s no big deal at all.

They might say things like, “Congratulations, now it’s time to do more!” Or “I’m just getting started!”

This may seem good at first.

But the longer this goes on, the more their behavior will affect your self-worth. It leaves you feeling like you simply aren’t doing enough.

3) They make you feel like their needs are more important than yours

When you’re dealing with a narcissist, you may feel like you and your needs are always second priority.

They’ll feel guilty for canceling your dinner date just so you can keep them company.

They don’t even care about you when you share something important in your life. Instead, they will find a way to have the conversation about them again.

And if it’s someone close to you—or at least someone you need to interact with often—this could easily destroy your self-worth.

They may end up convincing you that your needs aren’t important at all!

It’s tragic, but it happens more often than people realize.

4) They highlight your flaws

They don’t care that you did things right nine times out of ten. They will take it as soon as you fail and over-emphasize it!

They will continue to remind you of this mistake until the day you die.

It doesn’t even matter if your flaws are things you frankly have no control over, for example, if you’re painfully shy or if you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness.

They’ll make you feel bad for it though!

They usually do this when they want to manipulate you.

“You are making mistakes! You should always consult me from now on.”

Or “You’re always so shy. Join my workshop so you can improve yourself. You’ll never find dates if you stay like this.”

5) They question your decisions
It’s not easy when someone says things like, “Are you sure?” Or “But isn’t that a stupid move?” Every time you make a decision for yourself.

They are not afraid to use your past mistakes as a weapon to drive their point home. It doesn’t matter even if you’ve improved since then.

“Remember the time you defended your ex? Well, you’re doing it again with your partner!”

Over time, this will eventually lead you to question whether you are actually capable of making good decisions.

This is something that can still affect you even if you know what kind of person they are, unfortunately.

6) It makes you feel unworthy of love
Manipulators use “love” to control.

They will bombard you with love if you do something good (in other words, if you are useful to them).

They will withhold love if you “stand in their way” or do not support them.

If it’s your parent, partner, or friend, it may make you feel like you’re the type of person who doesn’t deserve unconditional love.

This will have a negative impact on your self-esteem. You may also be attracted to other manipulators because you think it’s a normal dynamic.

7) They make you feel like you have to be useful in order to be worthy
This is related to feeling undeserving of love.

Manipulators are great when you are useful to them. They will compliment you and make you the happiest person on earth.

But if you say “no” to their services, or if you go against their wishes, they will treat you coldly and make you feel useless.

This will make you feel like you always have to contribute something to others in order for people to consider you worthy.

You will feel uncomfortable (and insecure) when you are not earning much, when you are resting, and when you are not pleasing others.

8) They make you think that others don’t like you
Manipulators love drama. They especially like to get their hands dirty with gossiping and gossip because it allows them to smear others.

They may try to gain your loyalty by telling you the “bad things” others say about you.

For example, let’s say you have a friend named Allen, and they want you to stop talking to him.

They’ll probably approach you and say something like, “I wouldn’t trust Allen if I were you. They once told me they thought your business wasn’t that good.

Are they really telling the truth? maybe. But it’s also possible that they took your friend out of context, and that Allen was actually praising how quickly your work went from “average” to “excellent.”

9) They reject your ideas and opinions

Another way manipulators attack your self-esteem is by making you feel stupid or meaningless.

When you come to present your ideas, they will be more than happy to reject them and make fun of you.

When you share your opinions on something, they will laugh at you and tell you that you are naive.

They deliberately want you to feel ashamed!

Shame has such a significant impact on our psychology that it has been linked to self-harm behavior.

Unfortunately, manipulators don’t care about the harm they do to you. They only care about keeping you weak and easy to manipulate.

By drilling into your head that you are not smart, creative or rational, they do just that.

10) They make you feel stupid for being manipulated
Now, there are times when we realize that someone is actually manipulating us… However, we have no choice but to stay with them because we depend on them or simply want to keep the peace.

And knowing that we are being controlled and manipulated over and over again can make us feel like we actually deserve it.

After all, if we truly believed we deserved better, we should have cut them off eons ago.

This is another way they take away your self-worth.

The fact that you realize you are being manipulated can make you feel helpless, as if you are just a punching bag or a doormat with no other purpose than to serve the manipulator.

How to maintain your self-worth:

Keep interactions as short as possible.
Remind yourself over and over again that you are not the problem.
Their goal is to make you feel bad, and your goal is to not let that happen.
Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
Boost your self-esteem daily with these quick confidence-boosting techniques.
Learn how to stand up to manipulative people.
Don’t try to argue with them. They will drag you down even more.
Try not to take things personally. If they correct you, let them.
Consider their opinions as just opinions.
Have an exit plan. One day, you will be able to delete them from your life.
Final thoughts
The thing with manipulators is that they get to you before you learn how to read them and respond to them.