Staying in a loveless relationship can be very difficult.
Whether it’s you, your partner, or both of you who have lost your feelings, it can be difficult to recognize the signs without confusing them with other common relationship problems.
So, here are 10 warning signs you should pay attention to, so you can make an informed decision about your future.
It may not be easy reading, but it’s worth gaining clarity so you know whether to move forward or keep trying.
1) Lack of communication
Poor communication is usually the first sign that there is a problem in a relationship.
In the case of a loveless relationship, the matter is clear.
You’ve gone from talking every chance you get, sharing your dreams, and whispering sweet nothings, to just discussing transactions and daily essentials.
The most telling sign is that neither of you can be bothered to talk anymore.
A problem arises, but you don’t care enough to argue about it, let alone solve it. A far cry from the emotional battles I had before.
If this is the case, it is not only love that is lost, but also care.
2) Lack of intimacy
After a lack of communication, intimacy takes the next big hit.
And I’m not just talking about sex. Intimacy is generally put on the back burner, including:
Holding hands while walking
Put your arms around each other
Stroking or placing your hands on each other
Kissing to say good night or good morning
I hate to say it, but if you can’t remember the last time you did any of these things, that’s another warning sign that you’re in a loveless relationship.
You see, intimacy is a big part of a relationship. Sometimes, it’s easier to show our love than to say it.
So, if you’ve been deliberately avoiding each other, with no plans to find the spark again, the love may simply no longer be there…and neither is the attraction.
3) Lack of emotional support
Do you often feel that your partner doesn’t really care about your problems?
Or maybe you can’t listen to them anymore?
When we are in love, we feel so connected to the other person that we can feel their pain and sadness. We stay up at night worrying about them.
So, if you feel a lack of emotional support, it’s a sign that your partner (or both of you) has withdrawn from the relationship.
If so, you may have noticed that you have begun to seek support elsewhere; Through family or friends.
Your partner is not your “go-to” person anymore because the dynamics and feelings in your relationship have changed.
4) Repeated arguments
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship… and if it doesn’t happen every day, I’d say you probably don’t have much to worry about.
The real warning is if you seem to be arguing more than talking.
It happens when arguments go on for days and you can’t remember the last time there was harmony in your relationship.
Now, I’ll be honest, this point can go both ways.
Arguments can happen when both of you don’t know how to communicate healthily and move forward together. Couples counseling can help with this.
However, if you feel that there is a lot of resentment, not much willingness to resolve problems, and threats of breakup are frequent, this may be a sign that love has waned.
5) Lack of common interests
When we are in love, we tend to be more accommodating and open to our partner’s interests.
I, for example, don’t enjoy poker, but since my husband loves it, I will join in from time to time or cheer him on when he plays. He does the same thing when it comes to watching musicals.
But if neither of you is interested in what the other person likes or dislikes, that’s a clear sign.
You may find yourself spending more time alone or with other people…
Eventually, this rift will grow large enough that you won’t remember the last time you went out to dinner together, or for a walk, or for a weekend getaway.
The thing to remember is that when you love someone, you crave their company. If that feeling isn’t there anymore, it seems like you’re both just going through the motions.
6) Avoid each other
Do you feel they do the same thing?
This relates to the last point – if the love is gone, there is little chance that you will want to spend time together.
Maybe you do it to avoid conflict, but it’s also possible that you don’t have much interest in each other anymore.
And if you’re doing your best not to spend time together, you’re probably also doing the following thing I’ll mention:
7) There are no joint plans for the future
Do you remember when you first met?
How were your feelings running high and all you wanted to do was spend every day together and make fun and exciting plans for the future?
If that changes, that’s another warning sign to watch out for.
When love fades, it’s natural to stop imagining that person in your future.
You’re both moving in different directions, and you’ll likely hear more “I’m thinking about…” rather than “We should think about…”.
Even when it comes to short-term plans like going on vacation, you may find yourself more interested in going with friends than with your partner.
This is beautiful.
8) Feeling lonely
There’s nothing worse than feeling lonely when you’re in the company of someone else.
But I’m not saying that to make you feel bad, it’s just a big indicator that maybe you’re not with the right person anymore.
Loneliness comes when:
There is a lack of communication and support
You don’t spend any time together
There is no intimacy or personal contact
So, even though you may live in the same house, go to family events, and have dinner together every night, if you feel lonely, it may be due to a lack of love.
9) There are more negative interactions than positive ones
I would like to give you a practical task now:
Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. On one side of the line, I would like you to write “Happy Times” and on the other side of the line “Sad Times.”
Then select a time frame. You could look at the last 3 months, 6 months, or 1 year of your relationship.
Make a list of good versus bad.
It will become quite clear which side will come out stronger. If these are “sad times,” then clearly there is a problem going on.
Now, I wouldn’t say it’s because you’re in a loveless relationship.
Sad times can happen even to those who are very loving and committed, but are going through a difficult period.
However, if you have more sad times than happy times and you also relate to the other points on this list, then this is a very clear indicator that one or both of you has lost their feelings.
10) You feel more stressed than happy
Finally, how do you feel?
Does thinking about your relationship make you anxious, stressed, and tired?
Or does it bring you happiness, even if you are going through a difficult time?
If this is the former option, now is a good time to think about whether it is worth staying in this relationship.
If, after reading all these warning signs, you think it may be a problem such as poor communication, stress from work or other external factors, I advise you to seek professional help.
You can save your relationship if the love is still there.
But if not, I’m afraid you should consider walking away.
Many people stay in loveless relationships simply because they are comfortable, afraid to get back into the dating game or being single.
But in the end, we are all worthy of love. And it’s better to be single than to be with someone and still feel lonely.
So, be brave. You can do this. Work on loving yourself, and one day, the love you deserve will come to you.
