There are people you can trust, and there are people you simply can’t trust.
That’s why it’s so important to differentiate between one person and another.
In this article, I’m going to give you 10 clear signs that someone is untrustworthy and that you can’t trust them.
1) They ignore your boundaries.
The big red flag that someone can’t be trusted is that they simply don’t want to respect your boundaries.
This may seem obvious and easy to spot. After all, don’t you know right away when someone ignores your boundaries?
But most of the time, they do things so subtle that you won’t even notice them.
Let’s say you politely decline their invitation to go on a trip out of town. They’ll continue to pester you to go, even going so far as to guilt you into going.
Or if you say you don’t want to get drunk because you have something important to do the next day. Well, of course, they’ll try to force you to have “one last drink.”
If they’re not willing to respect your boundaries on something simple, how can you count on them to trust your boundaries on more important matters?
2) They try to shift blame.
If you’ve been following the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, you know what I’m talking about.
People like this always act like the victim.
Try to blame them for something and they’ll find a way to somehow shift the blame.
More often than not, they’ll blame you.
Let’s say you’re upset because someone you trust made a joke that embarrassed you in public.
You confront them. But instead of listening, they tell you that you’re overreacting and that you should calm down because they would never hurt you on purpose.
This makes you doubt yourself and even makes you feel like an idiot for criticizing them in the first place. After all, what if they were right?
But that’s the thing. If they cared about you, they wouldn’t tell you that you’re overreacting. They’d listen, empathize, and apologize.
Someone who is in the habit of blaming others is simply not trustworthy and not worthy of trust.
3) They act like the whole world is out to get them.
Another huge red flag is that for one reason or another, they think everyone is out to get them.
I’m sure you know at least one person like this.
This is the type of person who complains about how much they hate people because people are generally stupid.
This could be a guy who complains about how all girls are fake and untrustworthy because his girlfriend cheated on him. Or it could be a girl who says that it’s pointless trying to make friends because people turn their backs on her once they get what they want from her.
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There’s a saying that goes, “If you smell poop everywhere you go, look at your shoes.”
The person who goes out of their way to say that everyone is bad is probably the problem.
These are the people who usually try to gain your trust by gossiping about other people. You can bet they’ll do the same to you.
4) They always want to appear to be the good guy.
People who like to always be seen as the “good guy” are often the bad guys.
They may try to defend themselves in an argument by saying things like, “Hey, I did everything for you and our marriage.”
Even if you both know they cheated on you and lied to your face. Even if they keep rejecting your suggestion of going to couples therapy.
The sad thing is, they probably don’t even think they’re lying.
They believe they’re the good guy all along, and that they’ve done nothing wrong.
People who are like this are simply untrustworthy.
They’re either so dishonest that you treat everything they say as a lie, or they’re simply so lacking in self-awareness that you can’t trust them with good judgment.
5) They Prey on Your Spirituality and Morality.
It’s unfortunate, but nothing in this world is safe from people who try to take advantage of people who feel lost in life.
Some may try to provoke your beliefs to make you feel guilty so that you agree with their beliefs. And they have created an empire out of it.
Unfortunately, not all teachers and experts who preach spirituality do it for our benefit. Many of them do it just for the money, reposting memes just to get a bigger paycheck.
Some take advantage of this to distort spirituality into something toxic – even poisonous.
This is something I learned from Rhoda Yandy. He is a shaman with over 30 years of experience in this field.
He’s seen it all, and he’s written books that can help you spot the signs that someone is exploiting your spirituality.
But then you might think, “Why should I trust him? What if he’s also one of those manipulators he warns about?”
The answer is simple:
Instead of teaching you how to be spiritually empowered through him, he teaches you how to seek it out yourself and make it start from within.
This approach inherently means that you are solely responsible for your spiritual perspectives.
Click here to watch the free video and bust the spiritual myths you’ve bought for the truth.
6) They’re Hard to Say Sorry.
“Sorry” is a very simple word.
It’s made up of two syllables that roll off the tongue with ease. Yet for some people, saying it is the hardest thing in the world.
You could swear they’d rather swallow burning coal than say “sorry.”
They refuse to acknowledge their role in any problem you throw at them, and they always have a convenient excuse to throw your way.
There are many reasons for this, but the most likely reason is that they are tired of feeling like they are to blame for everything. That is because they are probably unreliable.
People who cannot be trusted have caused so much trouble that they have become defensive about it. Some of them want to become their defenders.
They ask themselves, “Why is this my fault?” and, of course, they will be able to justify why they are “only human” and therefore, they will not admit their mistakes.
No matter what the problem is, they always have some kind of excuse at hand to soften the blow.
7) They think in black and white.
If someone thinks in absolutes, you can be sure that they are not trustworthy or reliable at all.
I am talking about the type of person who believes that you are either with them or they are your enemy – that everything can only be good, or only bad with nothing in between.
The world is complex. Nothing is truly black and white, and pretending to be creates a lot of problems.
But you may wonder why absolute thinking is a problem.
Well, people who think this way will stand by you and form a bond with you as long as you are on their “side.” But the moment you contradict them or try to correct them, they get angry and suddenly treat you like you are their enemy.
So you have to deal with them very carefully and try hard to avoid upsetting them and turning them into a lifelong enemy.
Even with all this effort, they are still quite willing to throw away a ten-year-old friendship just because you contradicted them once.
8) They keep changing their story.
They were away all night a week ago, and since then, you have heard them give at least seven different stories explaining why they were away.
They may say that their car broke down in the middle of the road one day, and then they tell you that they got lost while driving and had to stay in a hotel all night.
And every story is suspicious.
Contradictions like this are a sure sign that they are not trustworthy.
They’re probably making excuses to avoid taking the blame or to hide something they’ve been trying to keep secret.
Of course, unless they’re trained liars who have memorized every little detail of their lives, these inconsistencies will keep cropping up.
9) They make you feel uncomfortable.
When in doubt, trust your gut.
The reason for this is that there are things you may remember on a subconscious level, but you might otherwise forget or ignore.
For example, if you’ve been in a relationship with three different cheaters before, your subconscious mind will notice the commonalities between those relationships.
So when you see someone displaying the same things, you’ll immediately know you’re in trouble.
It could be the way they talk, or even the way they look at you.
A little meditation can help you pinpoint what’s making you uncomfortable. And even if you don’t have a clear reason for it, it’s wise to listen to your gut.
Sometimes you don’t have to see a duck to know it’s a duck. All you need is a cawing duck to know it’s a duck.
10) They don’t do what they say.
They may promise to visit you that day. But you wait for years and they don’t. Then they call you later to say, “Sorry, I forgot!” or “Traffic was so bad,” or “I wasn’t feeling well.”
It turns out they didn’t mean to visit you anyway. Or they meant to but changed their mind.
It’s normal to make mistakes and have to cancel plans at the last minute. So don’t think that just flipping out once is enough to label them as untrustworthy.
But when they flip out over and over again and don’t seem to have the best reasons for it, they probably didn’t even think about keeping their promises at all.
It’s hard to argue with the fact that people who simply don’t follow through on everything they say are untrustworthy.
How to Deal with Untrustworthy People
Don’t make plans based on them.
This may sound like “well, of course,” but it needs to be said. There are people who, out of guilt or a sense of duty, continue to make plans with friends who never honor those plans.
As a result, they never get anything done.
Talk to them about it.
There’s always the possibility that they’re untrustworthy precisely because they’ve never been taught otherwise. So if you feel you’re up for the task, you can try to raise the issue of their trustworthiness and reliability with them.
Maybe—just maybe—you can make a difference. If not, at least you’ve tried.
Forget trying to get even.
The last thing you should worry about when talking to an untrustworthy and untrustworthy person is trying to make things fair and equal.
They won’t care, and you’ll just end up wasting your time and energy.
Hurting them because they’ve hurt you will only make them hit you harder, for example.
Don’t waste your time.
Be careful about what you tell them.
It’s best to avoid getting into long discussions or arguments with untrustworthy and untrustworthy people. They can easily take your words out of context and use them to make you a bad person.
And oftentimes, they know how to get you to say something that sounds “bad” at first glance.
Keep cutting them off.
After all, they may be more annoying than they are worth.
They probably are, and they are already damaging your life in some way.
Besides, if there is no trust in the relationship, what is the point of it?
It may seem harsh but don’t be afraid to cut them off if their presence is not beneficial to you.
Bottom line
There are many ways in which someone can be untrustworthy.
Sometimes it may be harmless but some are not only untrustworthy, but also untrustworthy.
These are the people you should avoid if you want to live an easy and mentally stable life. Having one of them as a friend or partner will make things hell for you.
Be vigilant and determined in choosing the people you interact with. The world is a scary place already. Don’t make it scarier by being around untrustworthy people.
