Narcissists resort to emotional blackmail because they crave control, attention, and validation.
They have this deep need to always be in charge and to make others bend to their will.
They view relationships as opportunities to get their own needs met, regardless of how they affect others.
That’s why emotional blackmail becomes their go-to tactic to keep people on their side, get what they want, and ensure that they are always the center of attention.
So, let’s see what are the warning signs that a narcissist is trying to emotionally blackmail you and what to do about it.
1) They threaten to withdraw love, support, or affection if you don’t comply with their demands
They use emotional manipulation as a weapon to get what they want. That’s why they threaten to withdraw love, affection, or support unless you give in to their demands or meet their expectations.
They use threats like “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll stop loving you” or “I won’t be there for you anymore” to get you to do things their way.
They exploit your emotions, vulnerabilities, and attachments to exert control and influence over you. As a result, you feel trapped, helpless, and emotionally drained.
Ultimately, they hold your emotions hostage, making you feel like you have to do whatever they say to maintain their love and support.
It’s not healthy at all, and it can wreak havoc on your mind. That’s why you need to recognize this behavior, stand up for yourself, and set boundaries to protect yourself.
2) They Twist Situations to Make You Feel Guilty or Responsible for Their Problems
They will twist things around to make you think you’re at fault or responsible for their problems, even when you’re not.
They have a secret plan, and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. They will make you doubt yourself, question your judgment, and feel guilty about things that aren’t your fault.
Their main goal is to control the situation and make sure things go their way, no matter what.
For example, in situations where they are clearly in the wrong, they often twist the situation by portraying themselves as the victim.
They exaggerate their suffering, claim that you are unfair or unreasonable, and try to gain sympathy and support from others.
3) They don’t understand or care about your feelings and are focused only on their own
People who are trying to emotionally blackmail you are emotionally detached or indifferent to the experiences and emotions of the people around them.
When you share what’s bothering you, they ignore it, minimize it, or simply don’t acknowledge it at all.
They only care about themselves and how they feel. Your feelings? They couldn’t care less.
4) They distort reality to make you doubt yourself
When narcissists are trying to emotionally blackmail you, they often resort to emotional manipulation. In other words, they are playing mind games with you.
They twist things so much that you start to question what is real and what is not.
If you weren’t aware, emotional manipulation is a well-known form of psychological manipulation where people distort facts, events, and your perception of reality.
They deny things they said or did, rewrite history, or even blame you for things that aren’t your fault.
The goal is to make you doubt your memory, judgment, and sanity, and to leave you confused, frustrated, and agitated.
Let’s say you remember a conversation or event one way, but the narcissist insists it happened completely differently.
They trick you by saying things like, “That’s not what happened at all. You must be remembering it wrong.”
This is because they refuse to take responsibility at all costs.
5) They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and blame you instead
When things go wrong, they are quick to point the finger of blame elsewhere, often at you or someone else.
They refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes or shortcomings, preferring to shift the blame onto others to protect their self-image and ego.
It’s frustrating because you’re left carrying the weight of their actions on your shoulders, even if you had nothing to do with them.
It’s one of the most infuriating aspects of dealing with narcissistic behavior, don’t you think?
6) They act like they’re better than everyone else and belittle those around them
Narcissists always want to be the center of everything and can’t stand not being in the spotlight.
It’s like they stand on this pedestal, looking down on everyone.
They act like they’re the kings or queens of the world and everyone is above them. They will belittle people, make fun of them, or talk down to them, all to make themselves feel superior.
They have this constant need to prove that they’re better than everyone else, even if it means putting others down in the process.
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It’s hurtful and disrespectful and can make you feel small and insignificant in their presence.
Dealing with this type of behavior regularly can negatively impact your self-esteem and confidence.
7) They Try to Control What You Do, Who You See, and How You Think
With narcissists, it’s like they want to run every aspect of your life. They try to control what you do, who you hang out with, and even how you think.
They insist on knowing where you are and what you’re doing at all times. They may even demand that you spend all your free time with them and get upset if you make plans without consulting them first.
It’s stifling and oppressive, and you may feel like you’re living under constant surveillance.
They will use manipulation tactics to make you feel like you have to comply with their demands, even if it goes against your wishes or best interests.
It’s a truly toxic dynamic that can leave you feeling trapped and helpless in the relationship.
8) They Can Go From Charming to Hostile in the Blink of an Eye
Narcissists, ‘ behavior can change in the blink of an eye. One moment, they’re all charming and charming, captivating everyone around them with their magnetic personality.
But then, suddenly, they can flip the switch and become hostile, aggressive, or downright cruel.
The truth is, you never know when the switch is going to flip, and that keeps you on edge all the time.
9) They shower you with affection and praise to manipulate you into doing what they want
One of the biggest signs of emotional blackmail is when they try to make you feel like the most important person in their world.
They will shower you with affection, sweet talk, and compliments, but not because they care about you or love you.
Oh, no. It’s a clever move to get you to do what they want.
They use this excessive affection and praise as a way to gain your trust, lower your guard, and make you more susceptible to their influence.
They try to please you so that when they ask for something, you’re more likely to say yes. It’s subtle and deceptive, and it can be really hard to spot their actions.
10) They ignore your boundaries and push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with
When it comes to respecting boundaries, narcissists just don’t seem to get it. They have this blind spot when it comes to understanding that you have your boundaries and comfort zones.
They will pressure you and pressure you, trying to get you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or uncomfortable without any regard for how you feel.
They view your boundaries as obstacles to overcome rather than lines that should not be crossed.
Whether it’s pressuring you to share personal information, invading your privacy, or pushing you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, they simply won’t take no for an answer.
It’s incredibly frustrating and disrespectful.
How to Deal with a Narcissist Who’s Trying to Emotionally Blackmail You
To deal with a narcissist who’s trying to emotionally manipulate you, make it clear what you’re okay with and what you’re not.
If they try to emotionally blackmail you, stand your ground and remind them that you won’t give in to them.
Don’t go it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support and advice.
Sometimes, just talking it out can help you figure out how best to handle the situation and feel less alone in dealing with the narcissist’s behavior.
