You know that line in The Sixth Sense where Haley Joel Osment says to Bruce Willis, “I see dead people”? It’s the same with me and narcissists.
They’re everywhere. From the talentless reality stars to their Facebook friends and their endless selfies. No, I really don’t care what you had for lunch or where you checked in today. And yes, I can see you’re using a filter because you sure don’t look like that in real life.
My point is that narcissism grows and becomes more acceptable. Unfortunately, this means that you are more likely to meet one and start a relationship. So, what are the signs you are dating a narcissist?
10 Signs you are dating a Narcissist
Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an excessive sense of self-importance, excessive admiration demands, an overly high sense of entitlement, taking advantage of others to meet their own needs, and a lack of empathy. – Oddest K Langham, MS, LPC, NCC
- They confess eternal love early
One of the first signs that you are dating a narcissist is their exaggerated behavior. Narcissists need to corner you before you realize who they are. So, they’ll bombard you with love, telling you they’ve never felt this way before. They will propose marriage and talk about having children. They will sweep you away in a whirlwind of romance.
Narcissists have a knack for making you feel special at the beginning of a relationship, but that will soon change once you get hooked.
- They need to be the center of attention all the time
I like being the center of attention sometimes, I think most of us do. But we don’t need to be around all the time. Narcissists believe they are special, so they will seek the spotlight, though not at first. Lights will be trained on you at first.
However, they will quickly turn around once they are attracted to you and your charm. If the focus isn’t on them, they can respond in several ways; They will throw a tantrum or narcissistic rage, or they will belittle the person who is getting the attention.
- They are rude and dismissive of others
If the focus shifts away from a narcissist, they will soon get bored and rude. Well-balanced people know to keep their feelings like boredom hidden for fear of upsetting someone. Not a narcissist. They will yawn, roll their eyes, or speak dismissively.
Narcissists will spend hours telling you everything about their life – after all, everyone is an audience for the narcissist. Watch how your date treats the wait staff or how they talk to the service providers. If they are rude and dismissive, this is a good sign that they are dating a narcissist.
- They only think of themselves
Do you have a friend or colleague who would be happy to fill you in with their life, but never ask you a single thing about your life? We can all be a little self-centered, especially if something important is going to happen. However, narcissists only talk about themselves. They don’t care about anyone else.
- They think they deserve special treatment
I had a friend I stayed with a few weeks ago and since she doesn’t drive I took her and bought her lunch and then paid for her meals out that evening. My friend ordered the most expensive thing on the lunch menu plus extra drinks and got herself the biggest pizza that evening. Honestly didn’t think twice about it.
When I dropped it off, there was no money offer. Narcissists do not understand the nuances of social etiquette so as not to be embarrassed by their behavior; They think they deserve special treatment.
- They exaggerate their accomplishments
Narcissists live in a fantasy world of their own making. Here they are, a king or queen, and they are gorgeous, powerful, and successful. Truly exceptional people don’t need to brag about their accomplishments; They talk about themselves.
But one of the clearest signs of dating a narcissist is their obsession with success. As a result, they will exaggerate their positive qualities and underestimate any negative ones. Research describes these traits as idealism and devaluation.
- They are arrogant arrogant
Have you ever been in a customer services queue and heard someone loudly exclaim “I want to see the manager!” Perhaps this is narcissistic. There are many research articles documenting this arrogance.
For example, an elderly man “Marco” was referred to a mental health facility after attempting suicide. He was initially evaluated by a senior intern but demanded to be seen by a senior physician. This kind of arrogance does not appear at the beginning of the relationship, it comes later.
- They go on to frown or give you the silent treatment if their needs aren’t being met
Compromise is a term that most narcissists do not want to acknowledge or understand. It certainly does not apply to them. Although they are happy to take advantage of others to get what they want and ignore people’s feelings, they don’t expect second-rate treatment.
You will find it impossible to live with a narcissist because it is all about them all the time. If they’re not getting the attention they need, they’ll pucker up or give you the silent treatment.
- You can’t relax in their presence
One of the signs that you are dating a narcissist is burnout. It is draining to live with someone who is demanding, selfish, unrealistic, lies all the time and doesn’t care about your feelings. One minute it’s fine and the next it’s WW3. They go from zero to 1000 in milliseconds.
Sometimes you wonder how you got involved with this person, but remember that he could have knocked your socks off and projected a very different image of his true self.
- You can’t trust them
Narcissists are pathological liars, whether it is about their accomplishments or their childhood, it doesn’t matter. They make excuses for being late or even blame you for forgetting the wrong time. We all tell white lies, but we usually do it to protect someone’s feelings.
One of the main signs that you are dating a narcissist is that you cannot trust a single word they say. Be wary of their gaslighting techniques, too. They will blindly swear they are right and make you doubt what is real.
