Showing someone your love is one of the most beautiful feelings, isn’t it? Not only is it beautiful to have your loved one show you love and affection…
…it’s also beautiful to know that feelings match words.
That’s what keeps relationships healthy and lasting. People need that consistency, but now it’s all the same with narcissists.
Sure, they can show you their love, but let’s question love today.
And then, let’s question why the ways they show you love are so ambiguous.
What Is Love?
Don’t ask a narcissist, that’s for sure. They won’t give you the answer you need, but they will say all the right words.
I think love is a great excuse to show someone your love.
If only narcissists thought this way, and weren’t so twisted.
10 Twisted Ways Narcissists Show Their Love
- Sex
Breaking News:
Sex Is Not Love
Yes, it’s a beautiful and intimate way to show your deep love and care for someone. Sexual intercourse is part of loving someone, but it shouldn’t be the only way to show your love.
Related :Oops Did I Marry a Narcissist?
Ultimately, it’s a physical act that makes you feel, in the moment, like you’re the only two people on the planet.
But being with someone this way doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be with them for the rest of your life.
When an intimate relationship ends and both parties are satisfied, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re with someone whose words match their feelings. Narcissists love sex because it’s known as an “act of love.”
But it doesn’t have to be love.
- Expensive Dinners
Going to a five-star restaurant for a meal after waiting six weeks for a reservation isn’t love.
Narcissists believe this is because they have deep emotional depth, and they assume that something so expensive must be feelings.
This isn’t true.
But those who fall in love with a narcissist will love it, because the exhaustion of such a lavish meal will leave them forever grateful.
This is why so many victims fall into the narcissist’s trap in the first place—
Victims come from an environment where any kind of attention or affection was highly deserved and necessary.
They had to work to earn love; Any small part of it would have been the validation they needed to feel loved.
- Luxury Vacations
Luxurious vacations are often accompanied by photos posted on social media. Now, look at it this way:
Narcissists want an excuse to show off. If it’s a luxury vacation, they won’t want to go alone because it would look pathetic.
Instead, they drag you along to make others look like they’re in the perfect relationship. They just want to impress with their social status.
You’re being taken advantage of on this vacation, and the narcissist knows that’s your sole purpose.
This isn’t out of love.
- “Look what I’m offering!”
Hands up, how many of you have heard a narcissist say that?!
Of course I love you. I wouldn’t work hard to provide you with the perfect home and everything that goes with it, would I?!
Related : Is The Narcissist You Know a Psychopath?
So what happens? Victims of narcissistic abuse assume that love is like giving.
In healthy relationships, this will never be used as a reason to show love, and it certainly won’t be used to hurt the other person.
Look at everything I do for you, why aren’t you grateful?!
Honestly, statements like this only trigger feelings of guilt in the victims. What often happens are unnecessary apologies.
- Dirty Money
Money is where narcissists love to show off more than anything else!
Love isn’t money, but try telling them that. For them, giving you money to treat yourself to a new jacket or shoes is their way of saying, “I love you, see?”
Money is easy. It’s the narcissist’s currency, because it symbolizes social status.
Time, honesty, patience, and respect aren’t (according to the narcissist!)
- Constant Texts or Phone Calls
You can’t even spend a few hours to yourself without being bombarded with calls from a narcissist.
They think they’re showing you how much they care, but they’re really just making sure you don’t forget them wherever you are.
This stems from a deep sense of insecurity on their part, and frankly, it’s not your problem.
However, texts and calls will be the art of real-time love bombing!
- Say it!
I love you.
I love you, have a great day.
I love you, Lil.
See how it sounds?
It’s truly amazing how narcissists can say it and then act in a completely different way than anyone else.
Victims, on the other hand, are often searching for anything to make them understand that they are worthy of love. They may have spent years, perhaps their entire lives, not believing this about themselves.
Of course—words are easy for a narcissist!
- False Security
The security you feel with a roof over your head means nothing when abuse lurks beneath it.
It’s all false. Feeling like they’re protecting you or shielding you from a nonexistent danger will leave you feeling helpless and dependent on them alone.
Related : The One Phrase That Will Leave Any Narcissist Powerless!
You won’t want to delve into the real world because their security feels like cast iron around your heart.
Well, if that’s the case, love can’t get in or out.
Something to think about.
- Flattery
Any simple expression of affection will come from a narcissist when they know they need to win you back.
Typically, flattery comes after a period of neglect where you feel lost and unappreciated.
Flattery can be as simple as a compliment, or toasting you like they do.
It may be simple, but it works when the other person’s expectations are so low that “anything will do.”
- Imitation
Imitation isn’t often talked about, but it’s how narcissists make you feel like you “fit in” with them and that they “get you.”
Related : 11 Reasons Why Women Stay With Abusive Men
Finishing sentences, imitating you when you brush your hair out of your face, or simply saying things like, “That happened to me too,” or “I feel the same way.”
You don’t get along, and you have nothing in common, so try to avoid saying “same to me” as an expression of their love for you and their happiness to know you.
It’s just a ploy to create an attachment.
Same old tricks!
