Relationships require hard work; We’ve all heard it before.
But how do you know when a relationship is going through a rough patch, or when it’s ripping from the inside out?
A toxic relationship can be one of the worst partnerships you will ever encounter, and when you find yourself trapped in one, your entire life can be on hold.
In this article, we dissect a toxic relationship—understanding what it is, the top 10 signs of a toxic relationship, why it occurs, when to know if you should leave it or fix it, and how to move on even while you’re still. Adores.
What is a toxic relationship?
The name describes a toxic relationship – a relationship gone bad.
When a relationship becomes toxic, every interaction in the relationship can feel wrong or out of place, filled with negative energy that makes both partners uncomfortable, angry, and disappointed.
When a person is trapped in a toxic relationship, they can find it difficult if not impossible to extricate themselves without much effort. There are several reasons for this, such as:
A relationship was once healthy and happy, and a part of you still sees it that way, even if most of it has become toxic.
- You don’t want to believe that the person you loved has become a source of negative energy for you
- You don’t want to believe you’ve become trapped in a relationship, you may feel emotionally too mature to fall into something like that
But even the best relationships can fall into toxic tendencies until the relationship itself becomes a toxic breeding ground for negative energy.
Habits that might have been considered cute quirks in the past may now seem like the most annoying things in the world, and attempts to mend a relationship can be interpreted as passive aggressive energy.
10 Top Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Do you think you might be in a toxic relationship? Here are the 10 most common signs of toxicity in relationships:
- Mutual avoidance
You used to love spending time together, but now you’re thinking of any reason to avoid each other. Breathe a sigh of relief when your partner has to go out of town for a few days. - Continuous betrayal of oneself
You have opinions and likes and dislikes, but you constantly find yourself doing something other than what you feel is right, just to please your partner, because you don’t want to make them unhappy. - Lack of autonomy
You have lost your identity, and with that, you have lost your self-worth. You don’t remember the last time you made a decision that is up to you and only you. Your whole life is now “we”.
- Little White Lies
Your relationship has become filled with little white lies, simply because you don’t want to waste time explaining the truth, and also because you don’t want to tell the truth. - Nothing you do is right
There are criticisms of everything. Every time you do something they always have a comment about what you did wrong or how you could have done it better. They don’t know how to value you anymore.
If you’re seeing this symptom, or some of the others I mention in this article, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner doesn’t love you. However, you need to start taking action to stop the deterioration of your relationship.
Watch this video now to learn 3 techniques that will help you repair your relationship (even if your partner isn’t interested at the moment).
- Unhappiness
You are just generally unhappy and negative. When they enter the room, your first thought is, “Oh God, now what?” - The victim’s partner
You and your partner may have gone through some rough times and are trying to move on, but you can’t, because they keep referring to the past, branding themselves as the victim. The effort to be better is in one direction only. - Envy and jealousy
Instead of celebrating you for your personal awards and accomplishments, they only take away envy and jealousy, wishing they had it and making you feel bad about it. - Endless drama
No matter how easy and simple your life is, your partner always magically finds a way to stir up some new drama if they don’t have a soul.
- Constant disrespect
Your partner is actively disrespecting you in totally unnecessary ways, even when a fight isn’t going on.
If you’re still not sure you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, ask yourself the following questions:
1) Is your partner happy with who you are, or do you have to constantly be a different “you” to make them happy?
2) Is your “give and take” equal, or is one person putting or taking more?
3) Do you feel better or worse about who you are after spending time with your partner?
4) Do you have more moments of anger and drama, or more moments of contentment and happiness?
5) Do you generally feel tired or energetic when you are with your partner?
Why do healthy relationships become toxic? Here are 3 common reasons
Healthy relationships are full of love. Whether it is with a best friend, parent, or romantic partner, a healthy relationship is a source of positivity, happiness, and love; Feelings that make us feel fulfilled, satisfied, and ready to conquer the world.
So it should make sense that everyone involved would want to do everything they could to keep such relationships healthy.
However, time after time, healthy relationships fall apart.
Couples who once seemed obligated to spend the rest of their lives together making stupid jokes eventually end up bickering and sniping at each other, turning ordinary situations into sources of hate and bitterness.
How does this happen, and why does it happen so frequently? Why do so many relationships fail to protect the “good” of their bond, causing it to fall apart and disintegrate?
Here are some of the reasons why even the most romantic people find themselves struggling with love:
- Boredom
Common lines:
- “We never do anything together.”
- “Do you want to eat there again?”
- “I am sick of you.”
The first reason is also the simplest – people are bored. Many people treat dating as a hobby.
They swipe on dating apps, send virtual likes and hugs and kisses, and find themselves elated with the excitement of dressing up, looking pretty, and going out to meet a new potential partner for the first time.
Dinner, laughter, and if all goes well, maybe even sex.
Without realizing it, countless men and women in their twenties and thirties have turned it into their primary hobby.
While other people spend their weekend nights reading books or playing video games, dating is outside the home. The problem is that they don’t realize it.
So when they finally find “the one” who makes them delete their dating apps and stop spending every weekend night on the town on a date, they lose the raw junk that’s been preoccupying them for years.
This is replaced by the novelty of love, commitment, and building a life with someone new, but eventually, that novelty wears off.
The passive act of being together becomes less attractive, and maintaining excitement becomes an active demand.
The novelty of falling in love and lounging on the couch gets boring, and partners are required to actively work to keep the relationship alive.
This means going on surprise dates, planning new activities, and simply trying to get ahead.
But it requires the participation of both partners; If only one partner is actively planning activities and events to attend, they will feel annoyed because all the efforts are coming from them.
After months or years of this, you end up in a relationship with partners who are still technically in love but are exhausted and disappointed.
They want something more out of their lives, and they’ve convinced themselves they’ve found the person they want to do it with, but they no longer have the energy to even bother.
Click here to watch an excellent free video with tips on how to turn around a stale or boring relationship (and so much more – it’s worth watching).
The video was created by Brad Browning, a leading relationship expert. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving relationships, especially marriages. He is a best-selling author and offers invaluable advice on his hugely popular YouTube channel.
- Missed expectations
Common lines:
- “Why don’t you want to do anything?”
- “I’m just trying to make you better.”
- “I’m happy with who I am!”
A serious relationship is much more than just dating.
While dating is spontaneous, mysterious, and exciting, a serious relationship is meant to develop further.
Not only do you commit your love to your partner, you commit your time, resources, and your entire life.
This means that your life is no longer your life. You also become partly your partner’s life, and theirs partly becomes yours.
Their failures are your failures, and their successes are your successes. The more they get into life, the more they get out of it, and the more you do.
So what does this mean? This means that both parties need to be on the same page when it comes to what they want out of life.
Some people are happy simply being alive – paying their bills, spending their nights and weekends relaxing at home with family and enjoying the occasional luxury.
But others want more.
Perhaps they eventually want to make more money, move to another country or a bigger home, or achieve larger personal goals, such as starting a business or pursuing higher levels of education or winning awards in their field of interest.
It can be hard to talk about this, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
What we expect of ourselves and what we want from our lives to reach our realization of happiness is a very personal desire, and when that doesn’t align with our partner’s goals, it can cause deep personal divisions in the relationship.
If two partners decide to stay together, one must compromise with the other—either the more ambitious partner sets their goals lower and begins to feel held back by their partner, or they continue to achieve their goals and ultimately feel they have outgrown their partner and need to move on.
- Long-term resentment
Common lines:
- “I told you not to do this a thousand times.”
- “When will you ever learn?”
“Do you think an apology makes it all right?”
discontent. No matter how emotionally mature you are, it can be difficult to erase the deep scars in your heart.
When someone hurts you so much that only your closest partner can hurt you, those pains last for a long time — if not forever.
