Want to learn some funny things to say to someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are selfish and rude. They can be annoying to deal with, and even worse to live with, and it’s tempting to respond in kind after one of their tantrums.

But what’s worse are the long-term effects of being exposed to someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Because of their hurt and manipulation, they can easily turn innocent, uninformed victims into emotional husks.

Worst of all, some people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are so good at their mind games that it’s hard to know if they’re just manipulating you or if you’re actually wrong.

Here’s the good news: It’s easier and more satisfying than you think to fight back against someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

This article will give you eleven funny things to say to a narcissist, plus some additional information on how to not only protect yourself, but also give them a dose of their medicine.

5 Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist

First, let’s talk about the five funny things you can say when a narcissist is being themselves.

These five claps are best when they say something incredibly rude, selfish, or ignorant to you. It’s best to say them in a sarcastic tone to make them feel miserable.

1: “Do you know what your problem is? You don’t know you’re the problem.”

When a narcissist is talking about a problem they’re having, and it’s clear that their personality has caused the problem, say this line. “You’re the common denominator in every situation you’ve just told me.” And be prepared for either violent denial or icy silence.

Here’s the thing: Some narcissists don’t even know they’re narcissists. They don’t realize that most of the stress they face in their lives is self-inflicted, mostly due to their terrible interpersonal skills.

A statement like this might shake them out of their stupor and correct their behavior.

Or it might not. Either way, you’ve done your best by saying what you have to say.

2: “I’m no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun, not you.”

Is the narcissist spoiled or entitled, and then asks you if you agree with what he just said?

Give them a piece of your mind by saying this line—or a more clever, fun version of “the Earth doesn’t revolve around you,” if you can think of it.

Will it make them mad? Maybe. More importantly, it might give them some insight into how selfish they are.

They may be mad now, but one day in the future they’ll think about your statement and realize, “Oh my God, I think I think I’m the center of the universe.”

3: “No sponge in the world can top your self-indulgence.”

When the narcissist is bragging about himself and all the things he “entitles,” give him this line. It’s funny and sarcastic, yet it reinforces the message better than anything else.

When they complain, “What? I’m not a self-obsessed person!” He simply replied, “Did you see?”

Again, this may hurt your friendship with this person, but it’s for the greater good. Plus, removing the narcissist from your life in some way is a win.

4: “You live life as if it’s all about you. Why do you think you’re alone?”

When a narcissist complains about being alone, or if they’re raging about friends who don’t work for them or a spouse who leaves them, say this.

It’s especially kind if they ask why people keep leaving them.

Sometimes, all it takes for a narcissist to change is realizing that their selfishness is leading to misery. They may not change right away, but a sentence like this can plant a seed.

5: “Put on the brakes, you speedster.”

When a narcissist is reaching conclusions, shut them down with this sentence. It lets them know that they’re making a decision too quickly, without taking the time to gather all the information and know all their options.

It’s always a good idea to make someone think twice before making a decision based on their emotions. Remember the rule: If it’s a matter of life or death, follow your heart. In everything else, use your head.

What if the narcissist insists on jumping to conclusions? As with any other situation, it’s best to walk away.

Cut ties with him, put some distance between you, and set limits on how easy it is for him to get to you. Remember: what you allow is what will last.

Now let’s move on to the next section. What if a narcissist says something hurtful to you? Are there any good responses to put them on the defensive? Yes — there are six. And I think you’ll love every single one of them.

Six Hilarious Narcissist Responses

You can’t avoid this. Spend enough time with a narcissist, and they’ll say things that will hurt you for the rest of your life.

Use these responses to ease the pain, minimize the damage, and make it worth it. This will give you a chance to see if they can take it as much as they can give it.

6: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Let me buy you a nice cup of Get Over It.”

Sometimes a narcissist asks for your opinion on something, you give it, and then they make you feel bad for saying something like that.

Situations like this are perfect for a response like this, where you say, “I’m sorry you feel that way. That’s my opinion, and I stand by it.”

This response sends the message that you’re standing your ground and won’t go back on what you said just to make them feel better.

Like most of the statements in this article, this may break your friendship with the narcissist, but it’s a good thing in the end because it frees you from the abuse and (possibly) leads them to change their ways.

7: “Is my self-absorption getting in the way of you?”

This is when you’re rambling on or getting something off your chest, and your narcissist hijacks your rambling and makes it about themselves. “Oh, yeah, that reminds me of the time when…”

Then they try to bring the subject back to your rambling—and again, they try to make it about them.

They even invalidate your anger by belittling it: “I don’t know what’s worse—your situation, or what you went through when…”

So you say, “Is my self-absorption getting in the way of you?” and you get up and walk away.

Someone might call you out, “I was just trying to help, you ungrateful jerk!” But don’t pay attention. Narcissists tend to have no empathy at all, so trying to change them directly is a hopeless situation.

A scathing rebuke like this may indirectly change them, though. That’s why this is the best approach.

8: “Get over yourself. Not everyone wants to be in your shoes.”

This is when the narcissist gets rude and starts saying things like:

“Look at me for example…”

“You should do what I did…”

“Do you know what I did wrong?…”

If you don’t have the patience for a lecture, cut them off by saying, “Get over yourself. Not everyone wants to be like you.”

Related : What Does a Narcissist Want in a Relationship?

It’s probably going to make them angry for the moment, and that’s okay. You’ve just opened their eyes to a glaring character flaw, something no one else has likely done.

9: “Thanks for reminding me why no one likes you. I almost forgot.”

When the narcissist is being particularly mean to you, let them do it with this sentence: “Thanks for reminding me why no one likes you.” Whatever venom they throw at you won’t live up to the first blow.

Narcissists believe they are so popular and loved, anyone who doesn’t is crazy.

A statement like this will shock them back to reality, causing them to later think, “Is this true? Does no one love me?”

Will they change? It’s impossible to know. Again, all we can do is send the message in the only language they know: power.

10: “Yeah, let’s just ignore everything you said and talk about you more.”

This is when the narcissist rudely interrupts you and turns the conversation around them, as they are wont to do.

Be prepared to use this statement to end the conversation if necessary, especially if they don’t apologize. (Hint: they usually don’t.)

11: “Yeah, I’m sorry I forgot that I’m only there when you want something.”

Finally, this is when a narcissist asks you for another favor, and you know they’ll forget about you as soon as you do it for them.

So, this time, you politely decline—and then they make a sarcastic comment about how unhelpful or ungrateful you are.

So, you need to respond to this statement immediately, and guarantee that they will never ask you for another favor again.

And there you have it: eleven funny and satisfying ways to respond to a narcissist. Pick your favorite and enjoy the fireworks.

After all, you might be thinking, “Don’t these statements make me look like the bad guy?”

Maybe. And the narcissist might even go so far as to spread toxic misinformation about you.

And that’s a good thing. You know why? Simply because people aren’t stupid. They’ll know bullshit when they hear it. Eventually, they’ll see the truth about the narcissist, just like you did. And the ones who won’t? They don’t care.

Get it? Great.