You haven’t been happy for a very long time. So why is it so hard to leave?
When we invest so much in someone, moving on is hard.
This is one of the reasons why toxic relationships can drag you down time and time again.
However, you have to be strong. Your future self will thank you for it.
Mentally strong people take strong actions to move on from a toxic relationship.
1) They are brave enough to face the truth
Denial is dangerous.
It keeps us stuck in toxic situations.
We can’t begin our healing journey until we can acknowledge the magnitude of the problem.
Sometimes, even when we know things aren’t okay, we cling to optimistic thinking:
“Maybe things will get better.”
“We loved each other once, and it can be like that again.”
“They say they’ll change.”
Despite how crushing it can be, mentally strong people are brave enough to be honest with themselves.
They accept the truth as it is… “I’m in a toxic relationship.”
Reality isn’t always what we wish it was. But accepting it is crucial.
Strong people use this important truth as a springboard for growth.
2) They remind themselves of their true worth
One of the many problems that comes from being in toxic cycles is that they drain you.
They strip away your self-esteem and self-confidence, so you may begin to doubt your worth.
Your partner may be manipulative and intentionally trying to strip you of your sense of worth to gain more control.
In both cases, your self-esteem may be at an all-time low.
Often, even in seemingly healthy relationships, people mistakenly end up looking to their significant other for validation.
Mentally strong people realize this is a trap.
The only truly reliable source of validation comes from within.
We need self-validation to stay strong, support ourselves, and be able to impose all the important conditions on the people we want to be in our lives.
It’s time to tell yourself:
- I deserve more
- I deserve better
- I am enough, just the way I am
- Better times are on their way
3) Set firm boundaries
Most of us don’t think much about our boundaries. But when they’re seriously eroded, it’s time to be more aware of them.
You’ll need these clear rules, not only to keep you from drifting back into your toxic relationship but also to create more positive, healthy connections in the future.
Helpful boundaries as you move forward can include:
- Setting a no-contact rule with your ex
- Refusing to let them back into your life in any way or form
- Unfollowing (or blocking) them on social media
4) Proactively taking care of yourself
At times in our lives when we feel most vulnerable, self-care becomes even more important.
It’s about going inward and discovering what you need to heal. It’s about giving yourself the care and attention you need to nurture yourself in a vulnerable time.
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This can take many forms but it certainly includes covering the basics that will give you strength.
Our mental health suffers when we don’t eat right, sleep right, or exercise.
These things may not seem like a big deal, but they make a huge difference to your mood and well-being.
Other things like mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises can help you feel more grounded and calm in a time of uncertainty.
They’re scientifically proven stress relievers and will support you.
But it’s important not to forget about fun. Now is the time to start reintroducing as much joy into your life as possible.
It’s just important to make sure it’s coming from the right sources, as we’ll see later.
5) Rediscovering Yourself
Part of feeling hopeful and excited about life outside of a toxic relationship involves getting back in touch with some of the things you may have lost.
Getting involved in your hobbies and interests can help you feel like yourself again.
Identity is important. It helps us feel like we’re the people we are.
Often, when you’re in a toxic relationship, you lose focus on that. You may have given up on some of the things that once felt important because you prioritized your relationship instead.
So it’s time to rediscover what makes you you. Get out and do the things you enjoy.
But here’s a warning:
Mentally strong people know that in turbulent times like these, it’s easy to get sidetracked.
You may be tempted to give in to escapism. It could be by hiding out at parties, drinking too much, or engaging in other reckless behaviors.
But these behaviors won’t build you up in the same way. Eventually, you’ll reach the top and come back down with a thud.
Find activities that nourish you and help you develop a sense of independence and self-esteem.
6) They Rely on Others for Strength
Don’t be fooled. Mentally strong people don’t go it alone.
They’re wise enough to know that strength lies in numbers.
When life gets tough, leaning on others is the way we can bounce back faster.
It’s not a burden you have to carry alone.
It can be incredibly helpful to surround yourself with positive people who love you and want the best for you.
- Spend time with your loved ones.
- Don’t isolate yourself.
- Talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling.
- Seek therapy if you need to talk to a professional or feel like you’re struggling.
7) They cultivate a positive mindset to embrace an optimistic outlook on the future
Hope.
It’s a powerful thing.
When it’s lost, life can feel empty and terrifying.
That’s why it’s your biggest ally in shaping your future.
It’s okay to lose sight of it. You can find it again. Examining your mindset is the way to do that.
A positive mindset is the secret weapon of all mentally strong people.
Their optimism about the future and their deep belief in growth give them much-needed resilience and motivation.
Instead of focusing on the bad, a positive mindset actively looks for the good in life.
Things like practicing gratitude, positive self-talk, reframing negative thoughts, and engaging in lots of self-compassion can help you do this.
8) Instead of trying to forget, they use negative experiences as opportunities for growth
The point is:
Life is a classroom.
The experiences we go through may not always be pleasant, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable.
If we don’t learn the lessons, everything we went through was for nothing.
After negative events in our lives, it can be incredibly empowering when we consciously decide to use them as opportunities.
It’s like taking back control and saying,
“I’m not going to let this defeat me, I’m going to use it as fuel for growth.”
After you start to heal, there may be things that come up from your experience that need to be looked at more closely.
A self-inquiry journal can be a good way to dig deeper.
Maybe your toxic relationship has shed light on issues of codependency or low self-esteem. Or maybe you just want to ask some questions about how you ended up there in the first place.
Most importantly, it’s not about blame, guilt, or shame. As we’ll see later, that’s not helpful at all.
It’s about using everything life throws at us as an opportunity to become stronger and more self-aware.
9) They Don’t Drag Themselves Down With Regret and Remorse
When you’ve put time, energy, and love into a toxic relationship, it’s understandable to feel some resentment.
Waiting for an apology or some kind of acknowledgment from your ex is a waste of time.
Closure is a myth. Moving on is a personal choice.
The truth is, another conversation with your ex doesn’t solve anything.
You’re holding yourself captive if you insist on meeting certain conditions before you can move on.
Mentally strong people understand that moving on is a 100% internal process. It’s not dependent on the other person’s acknowledgment or resolution.
Emotions like shame, guilt, or regret act like a poison that eats away at you.
10) They Embrace the Art of Forgiveness
Here’s what a lot of people get wrong about forgiveness:
It’s not a weakness. It doesn’t turn you into a weak person who puts up with anything. It’s not about letting people back into your life.
Quite the opposite.
It’s a therapeutic tonic that allows you to release the burden of negative emotions you may have been carrying.
It doesn’t involve anyone else. It’s an inner release. It can help you acknowledge your pain but also find meaning in your suffering.
One of my favorite quotes on the subject is:
“Forgiveness means letting go of all hope for a better past.”
Of course, this is a process that takes time and patience. But mentally strong people realize that it’s about acceptance so you can finally move on.
You can still learn lessons without having to carry pain and suffering.
