The things manipulators say dig deep into your feelings. These statements make you doubt yourself and place too much importance on their words.
Manipulators are masters of deception. It is difficult to notice what they are doing sometimes, as they cover you with a cloak of lies. She is trapped, drawn into another reality, and begins to fall victim to their expert gaslighting maneuvers.
Now, you feel guilty, and you don’t know why.
So, what are the things that manipulators say?
Manipulators say many things but rarely have healthy conversations with you. According to them, they are superior, victimized, and neglected at the same time. And when they want something, they will stop at nothing to get it.
Related : What Happens When a Narcissist Sees You Cry? 13 Disturbing Things to Expect
We can find manipulators in many personality types, so simply calling them narcissists wouldn’t be entirely appropriate. But more to the point, here are some things manipulators will say to make you feel guilty. Pay close attention to these types of phrases so that they cannot take advantage of you.
- “I never said that.”
Manipulators use specialized control techniques. One such technique is gaslighting. This behavior is a little difficult to explain, because it takes many forms and involves factors.
But basically, manipulators use gaslighting to make you think about things you’ve said or done. When they say things like: “I never said that,” they probably did. If a statement goes against their agenda, they will deny it.
- “It was your idea, not mine.”
People who easily manipulate you will never take responsibility for a bad idea or failure. It’s not something they do. You see, the whole idea is to manipulate anything and anyone with the goal of always winning.
So, if they make a plan to do something, and it turns out to be terrible, they won’t take ownership of the idea. It doesn’t have to be a big plan either, because it doesn’t make a difference.
- “You are lying.”
We all tell little white lies sometimes; You know those convenient lies. But most of us want to be honest. You may strive to be as honest as possible, and even feel guilty when you are not. The manipulator knows this too.
They know that you will become defensive if you are called a liar. When you are defensive, you are vulnerable. From there, the manipulator can make you do almost anything out of guilt.
- “You are too sensitive.”
The things manipulators say not only make you feel guilty, they actually hurt you. Saying that you are very sensitive about a particular topic means that everyone else must have the same sensitivities. They pick and choose which emotions you should or shouldn’t show, and they sometimes call it drama.
But there is a difference between starting with a real dramatic scene and having sensitivities. The manipulator knows this, but they use statements like these to once again put you in a vulnerable position of guilt.
- “You caused this.”
Speaking of guilt, a manipulator couldn’t be more clear when he blames you. Those who often use manipulation will do physically and mentally painful things, then turn around and say you instigated the accident.
Yes, there is cause and effect, but in the end, you are responsible for your actions, regardless. So, don’t fool yourself by listening to what they say. Don’t let them feel guilty. They thrive on watching you fall.
- “Do you really want to hurt me?”
Did you read it in the voice of pop singer Boy George? Well, maybe not all of you know who he is, or maybe you’re just too young. Honestly, I’m not sure what Boy George means by his words, but in this case, they’re manipulative.
When a toxic person wants something from you and you say no, they will make it seem like your rejection is hurting them. Rejection can be painful sometimes, because most of us usually want the answer to be “yes.” But in this case, the manipulator creates feelings of guilt by playing the victim.
- “I apologized. What do you want too?”
Well, we can only say we’re sorry so many times and it becomes meaningless. However, manipulative people expect you to accept just one apology without making any effort to fix their mistakes.
Smart people see the truth through rude apologies. And when you start trying to communicate and understand why they did something hurtful, that’s when they use the “I already apologized” excuse. Most often, manipulators just want to step on you and then hope you forget about it.
- “You’re causing a scene.”
Here’s another thing manipulators say to make you feel guilty. They will incite a public argument, which is so infuriating that you lash out. Sometimes they can make you so angry around people that you start yelling at them.
Listen, it’s true that people can be verbally abusive. But when someone manipulates you to the point that you lose your temper, you are extremely vulnerable. There is a difference between verbal abuse and reaching a breaking point. I think you understand this.
- “If you really loved me, you would do this.”
I absolutely hate this. This phrase has been used on me so many times that I feel embarrassed when I think about it. I was very naive and usually did what my toxic partner wanted, so he wouldn’t have said this.
But here’s the truth: Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you have to do everything they ask of you. Sometimes it’s good to say “no” without any explanations. This doesn’t mean you love them less.
- “I misunderstood what you said.”
Here’s another one to make your blood boil. Have you ever heard something ridiculous coming out of a friend’s mouth and then gotten angry? Well, if this happened and your friend was a manipulative person, he probably backed off (said you misunderstood what he was saying).
Manipulative humans will always keep the word “misunderstood” in their back pocket for when they need to use it. Here’s what you should do: Call them on what they said, and don’t let them evade it.
Why are the things manipulators say so depressing?
It is very frustrating to deal with the things manipulators say because they control you. If you fail to be strong and uphold your self-worth, the manipulator will steal all your vitality and enthusiasm for life.
They have properties similar to energy vampires. And you can say,
“Well, why don’t we just stop interacting with them at all? Don’t talk to them. Ignore them.”
This is an option. But it can be more complicated than that depending on the role the manipulator plays in the person’s life.
When manipulative people start playing games, it distracts them. It’s harmful, tiring, and takes a lot of focus away from the important things in life.
